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Thread: Changing Faces

  1. #1
    Epiphany
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    Default Changing Faces

    I wonder if other INFPs or Type 4s do this?

    Both online and in real life, I tend to consciously alter my perspective and response toward others depending on the environment. I think it stems from constantly being told by society that my personality is flawed. It's not as acceptable for a man, particularly a heterosexual, to be introspective, self-aware, emotionally in-tune with himself and others, affectionate, considerate of other people to the point of being reserved, imaginative, wary of making rash decisions, etc... These gender-biased attitudes are reinforced by the mainstream of men and women both. Adaptation is a necessity to the point of neglecting your own personality, and then you are chastised for being "fake" and insincere. Fuck the hypocrisy! People are eager to cast stones at those they don't understand. God forbid that someone should deviate from the cookie-cutter template of conformity. Nonetheless, assimilation is mandatory to a certain extent.

    I don't wear a facade for the sole purpose of deception. Ultimately, it is a defense mechanism. Sometimes, I will behave a certain way just to elicit a particular response from people; testing the waters to see how deep they are. The drawback is that it hinders a true emotional-connection. In my experience, emotions/feelings frighten people, so why expose them if you don't have to?

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    Some people see adaptability and flexibility as a bad thing. I don't understand it either.
    I react to the dynamics of a situation and that of course includes my interaction with people.


    I find it becomes more a problem when I am in an intimate relationship. It tends to be my partner who notices I behave differently with others in comparison to her, and then the fun starts

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mask Manifest View Post
    I wonder if other INFPs or Type 4s do this?

    Both online and in real life, I tend to consciously alter my perspective and response toward others depending on the environment. I think it stems from constantly being told by society that my personality is flawed. It's not as acceptable for a man, particularly a heterosexual, to be introspective, self-aware, emotionally in-tune with himself and others, affectionate, considerate of other people to the point of being reserved, imaginative, wary of making rash decisions, etc... These gender-biased attitudes are reinforced by the mainstream of men and women both. Adaptation is a necessity to the point of neglecting your own personality, and then you are chastised for being "fake" and insincere. Fuck the hypocrisy! People are eager to cast stones at those they don't understand. God forbid that someone should deviate from the cookie-cutter template of conformity. Nonetheless, assimilation is mandatory to a certain extent.

    I don't wear a facade for the sole purpose of deception. Ultimately, it is a defense mechanism. Sometimes, I will behave a certain way just to elicit a particular response from people; testing the waters to see how deep they are. The drawback is that it hinders a true emotional-connection. In my experience, emotions/feelings frighten people, so why expose them if you don't have to?
    I agree on all the bold part.

    But that last part about testing people is not something I can relate to however, sorry.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Arclight View Post
    I find it becomes more a problem when I am in an intimate relationship. It tends to be my partner who notices I behave differently with others in comparison to her, and then the fun starts
    I'm interested in knowing more.

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    Quote Originally Posted by angell_m View Post
    I'm interested in knowing more.
    Maybe with people I am less comfortable with (work or just associates) but I still enjoy their company on certain levels. One of the 1st things I do in those situations is become a funny guy, I tell lots of jokes, I am very quick and witty, predicting where a conversation is going I can already have my joke response or reaction ready before they are even finished.. I can do this all day long. So these people see me as Jolly Jason the Joker.. (Did I just say my real name out loud?) meh.. So maybe my partner will wonder why I am so lighthearted and fun outside.. But I come home and brood and withdraw.
    That sort of thing.

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    OH!

    Sounds just like me then.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mask Manifest View Post
    I wonder if other INFPs or Type 4s do this?

    Both online and in real life, I tend to consciously alter my perspective and response toward others depending on the environment. I think it stems from constantly being told by society that my personality is flawed. It's not as acceptable for a man, particularly a heterosexual, to be introspective, self-aware, emotionally in-tune with himself and others, affectionate, considerate of other people to the point of being reserved, imaginative, wary of making rash decisions, etc... These gender-biased attitudes are reinforced by the mainstream of men and women both. Adaptation is a necessity to the point of neglecting your own personality, and then you are chastised for being "fake" and insincere. Fuck the hypocrisy! People are eager to cast stones at those they don't understand. God forbid that someone should deviate from the cookie-cutter template of conformity. Nonetheless, assimilation is mandatory to a certain extent.

    I don't wear a facade for the sole purpose of deception. Ultimately, it is a defense mechanism. Sometimes, I will behave a certain way just to elicit a particular response from people; testing the waters to see how deep they are. The drawback is that it hinders a true emotional-connection. In my experience, emotions/feelings frighten people, so why expose them if you don't have to?
    Gotta find the right circle of people to be around. people who wont expect such things from you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by yakimadude View Post
    Gotta find the right circle of people to be around. people who wont expect such things from you.
    I'm only myself around the ones I trust, which is a rare few, like five people. But mostly one on one conversations with those select few.

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    Quote Originally Posted by yakimadude View Post
    Gotta find the right circle of people to be around. people who wont expect such things from you.
    I have learned recently that everybody expects something. So you should just expect that people have expectations, no matter what the relationship is.

  10. #10
    Epiphany
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    Thanks for the feedback my fellow INFP brethren.

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