A metaphor occurred to me to express how INFJs see and come to understand people.
Do you remember those 3-D posters with the hidden image? Everyone would say, just look past the surface and don't focus on any one thing, then it will emerge. While I was never very good at those, I see manage to see a couple of images in them and remember that it occurred when I could just relax into it and have an "Aha!" moment. That is how I look at people - past the surface, without focusing on any one thing, trying to just relax into it without expectation or judgment, and then Aha! some sort of insight emerges.