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Thread: Common INFJ issues

  1. #451
    i love Array skylights's Avatar
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    thank you guys for your responses. i agree, the dolphins are pretty awful... i feel like they kind of undermine any legitimacy her website was going for...

    Quote Originally Posted by Z Buck McFate
    As I said in the other thread, a lot of her description sounded more like instinct variant differences than Fi/Fe differences.
    huh, that's really interesting. i'm going to go read that with your thoughts in mind.

  2. #452
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    Pretty much all of them fit me to a tee, with the exception of the last few. I'm a hungry learner, so while I do ask for help/advice about things I don't know much about technologically, I am eager to figure it out. I have a harder time keeping my opinion/problem bottled up than I do expressing it, with people close to me. And I try not to overpromise because I feel pressure acutely. I hate disappointing people. Everything else is scarily accurate.

  3. #453
    wants Mifune clone minion Array Z Buck McFate's Avatar
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    skylights- the instinct variant comment applies to this video (the only one of hers I've seen):

    http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...23601827072974


    I've been to her site. I've very much someone who gets worn out reading walls of text if the 'meat' is prefaced with a bunch of stuff that doesn't seem particularly relevant, or if the relevance isn't clear to me. I have this problem if I'm talking to someone in person too- if someone just goes on and on about something, I have a really hard time picking out the relevant pieces. It's like going to a restaurant and filling up on bread- by the time the main course is there, I no longer want it or care what it is. That's the effect this woman has on me, so I'm really not sure how much I agree with her usual points.
    Reality is a collective hunch. -Lily Tomlin

    5w4 sx/sp Johari / Nohari

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    She is the Sarah Palin of INFJs.

  5. #455
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    I remember reading on her site an article (written by someone else, but still on her site), that it's stupid to think that INFJs are 1.5% of the population and not any more. Why is it so hard to believe that some types are genetically/survivally valued over others? It's not like nature was like, "OK, I'm going to take the MBTI theory and evenly distribute all 16 types throughout the population."

  6. #456
    Senior Member Array Chloe's Avatar
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    Question to INFJs;
    Do you have hard time admitting [to yourself and others] you stopped caring so much for someone you were very close to? You care too much to keep them even though you dont care anymore enough.

    How are you like when in love? Intense? Slow in beginning but then nuts? Nuts in the beginning but then more controled/less expressive/enthusiastic but still hot on the inside?

    You, you.. So confusing creatures!

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    Iron Maiden Array fidelia's Avatar
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    Hmm, those are hard questions. For me, anytime I've cared about someone I probably would look cautious externally (although I would make myself very available to be in their company), and while I have an interest or care at the beginning, it gets increasingly intense as time goes on. If I have decided to let someone in to the inner chambers of my heart and later they prove themselves untrustworthy, I often have a hard time believing it at first and responding appropriately. It really shakes me up and makes me question my own judgement and I don't let just anyone in there so it is a big loss. It takes me a long time to get over someone that I have cared about, particularly if there are unanswered questions. I like to extract whatever I can of use out of the time we were together and even out of the breakup before I am ready to close the chapter on it. I like to have all the questions resolved and have a hard time just resolving them within myself somehow (NFPs are much more adept at this! I'm jealous of them). I don't think once that's taken care of though that I have a hard time letting things go. I would never start dating someone else within a month or two though if the person I had been with mattered to me (and I wouldn't date them unless I felt strongly about them).

  8. #458
    violaine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Petra Pan View Post
    Question to INFJs;
    Do you have hard time admitting [to yourself and others] you stopped caring so much for someone you were very close to? You care too much to keep them even though you dont care anymore enough.
    Hmm, I guess you are asking in order to assess someone's feelings towards you, yes? I may not be the best person to answer because I'm different now than how I used to be.

    The constant is that it takes me a long time to truly stop caring. Even if someone does something heinous. In the area of romantic relationships, it doesn't mean I love them anymore in a way that I could be in a relationship with them. I won't lead someone on in that way. I think the fact I still care and am nice can make a person think there is still a chance when there is not. But I would never, never commit to being in a relationship with someone if I don't think it would work out between us, even if I have love for them. EDIT: And there is a big difference in the way I show I care as well. i.e. I'm a friend, I'm never open to anything flirtatious or romantic from the person ever again.

    Quote Originally Posted by Petra Pan View Post
    How are you like when in love? Intense? Slow in beginning but then nuts? Nuts in the beginning but then more controled/less expressive/enthusiastic but still hot on the inside? You, you.. So confusing creatures!
    Ugh, I hate to admit it but I'm intense. I don't know how others might perceive me from the outside but I always feel really intensely inside. I am pretty sure I don't show it though and it used to be the case that if I really liked someone and was uncomfortable (EDIT: because I didn't want them to know how I felt) I would kind of ignore them. Lol. I also prefer not to physically rush into anything and rarely have even though I might be feeling very intensely for someone.

  9. #459
    violaine
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    Hmm, those are hard questions. For me, anytime I've cared about someone I probably would look cautious externally (although I would make myself very available to be in their company), and while I have an interest or care at the beginning, it gets increasingly intense as time goes on. If I have decided to let someone in to the inner chambers of my heart and later they prove themselves untrustworthy, I often have a hard time believing it at first and responding appropriately. It really shakes me up and makes me question my own judgement and I don't let just anyone in there so it is a big loss. It takes me a long time to get over someone that I have cared about, particularly if there are unanswered questions. I like to extract whatever I can of use out of the time we were together and even out of the breakup before I am ready to close the chapter on it. I like to have all the questions resolved and have a hard time just resolving them within myself somehow (NFPs are much more adept at this! I'm jealous of them). I don't think once that's taken care of though that I have a hard time letting things go. I would never start dating someone else within a month or two though if the person I had been with mattered to me (and I wouldn't date them unless I felt strongly about them).
    +1 to all.

    And a big yes to the bolded. It never really occurred to me that that might be confusing for others. Someone once told me that INFJs show they care by being "aggressively available". Yup.

  10. #460
    Phantonym
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    ^^Yup, I can agree with pretty much everything fidelia and violaine said.

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