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[INFJ] Common INFJ issues

Peter Deadpan

phallus impudicus
Joined
Dec 14, 2016
Messages
8,883
Do you guys think Aux Fe can be triggered through Tert Ti?

Aux Fe is more of a healthy outlet for tert Ti, otherwise what you likely have is a Ni Ti loop, something I am all too familiar with. This forum is one big Fe fest (or Te or Ne, depending, but tons of feelers here).
 

Cellmold

Wake, See, Sing, Dance
Joined
Mar 23, 2012
Messages
6,266
Main title:

Being misunderstood

Subtitle:

Everything else
 
Joined
Feb 21, 2017
Messages
37
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
2w1
Here's a question for other INFJs. When social pressure is in conflict with your values, how to you behave? How would you behave in this scenario.

Sitting in a psychology class, the professor wants students to re-enact the Standford based Stanley Miligram test where a researcher asks one participant to sit at a desk and push a button to inflict an electric shock on another participant which they cannot see. They are to inflict a shock anytime the other participant gets an answer wrong. They are told this person has a heart condition, and they hear expressions of pain in response to pushing the button. The researcher comes out periodically saying 'the experiment must continue', and increases the shock each time.

Well, he asked me to re-enact pushing the button, and while I realize it is funny and there is no possibility of inflicting pain, still I didn't want to do it. It was against my will, and if I had gone along for the sake of being appropriate in class and obeying the professor, I would have left the class wondering if I would have been among the 80% who went through with the experiment. Instead I just sat there and smiled a bit awkardly. In one instance when the professor came out and said 'the experiment must continue' I made a joke and said, 'perhaps you two should switch places', which is what I would think in the pretend or real context. Anyway, I left class feeling peace that the ability to endure that level of social awkwardness, even stick-in-the-mud social behavior, in order to maintain the integrity of my will, meant it is more likely I would have integrity in a more real situation. Would any of you do that or do it seem like being silly and rigid in a context that was only a joke.

I would have definitely done everything you did, awkward joke and all. I don't know if this is an INFJ thing, but I have a major aversion to causing anyone else pain or suffering. To the point it's debilitating. Way to sit have the kind of stick-to-it-iveness that kept you through the whole class!! I would have had to leave in a huff of self-righteous anger.
 

N2H

New member
Joined
Jun 29, 2017
Messages
12
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Guys... I'm struggling, or more accurately, frustrated. I know I'm not alone in feeling like this, but I'm worried I'm not gonna find a romantic life partner worthy of me but who also finds me worthy of them. I need advice on how I can quit obsessing over this. Please note my types, lol... knowing them helps me feel more "normal" or at least typical in behavior, but I'm still embarrassed by my desire/preoccupation with finding Mr. Right. I'm working towards developing hobbies and healthier habits, but ffs, this problem is at my core and I don't know what to do about it. I know I shouldn't stay single forever by pushing guys away, but I also know I can't be crazy picky either, right??? The hard part is that I'm actually very socially anxious, so tips like "join a group" or "meet new people through friends" are completely out for me atm. Online dating is... ugh... depressing, discouraging, and also how I met my last ex, so leaves a bad taste in my mouth. (I do finally feel about 80% over my ex, so that is at least a positive growth milestone).

To be clear, I'm more frustrated than desperate, more anxious than lonely, more confused than depressed. I'm not sure that's any better, lol, but I'm no longer some sad sack of shit.

Also, I think men are intimidated by me, especially the types I like (introverted intuitive types). Do you think I'd intimidate guys and make it too hard for them to approach me??? Also, I'm open to suggestions for what types you guys think would be a good match for me, even though I have some ideas of my own (no, not just INFJ either).

Thanks guys!!! (Insert awkward joke to lighten the mood and distract from my transparency/vulnerability)

I think I may know how you feel, as for some reason I simply cannot enjoy things in life without somebody to enjoy them with, but finding that person is what eludes me. I'm not great socially either, made worse by being a responder and never taking initiative to try and create friendships even though I want them -- people probably end up thinking I'm not interested when that simply isn't true. You mentioned online dating.. did you mean actually dating them online, or finding someone nearby online and then dating them IRL? I agree that the former is way too much work for what it's worth, but the latter is something I've considered for myself as I think it would be easier to narrow down on the right match a little easier, with hopefully less time wasted in trial & error.

Maybe you do intimidate guys, but then again how obvious are you making it to them that you are interested? I'm new here so I'm not familiar with what kind of person you are, but if you're more the type to wait for them to make the first move then maybe that is part of the issue? I would think that most introverted, intuitive guys would be waiting for a move too.. I know that I'm like that, and probably (regrettably) missed out on some good relationships because of it.
 

Madeleine

New member
Joined
Aug 21, 2017
Messages
26
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Wow, a lot of this really spoke to me, but especially having long gaps in correspondence. I am notorious for this and some of my extrovert type friends don't get it. They understand I don't mean to disappear but I still feel guilty about it. Sometimes I just can't help it and need to hide out for awhile. Anyone else feel this way, and if so, how do you cope?

Yes, there are times when I need to withdraw from all social interactions in order to recharge. It's not about letting my correspondences slide, but taking a pause.
I now announce my departure to my friends beforehand, so they won't take it personally. They understand it and it is not an issue.
 

astrotheologian

New member
Joined
Aug 23, 2017
Messages
14
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
479
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I have a hard time feeling like I absolutely know something is the case and not being able to prove it. I also have a hard time translating my understanding of the intangible world into words where people won't think I'm a nutjob. I mean, I am a nutjob but not that kind of nutjob. Seeing things in the world and trying to translate it into the greater society but not having a voice because it sounds too weird.. puts limits on my goal to help transform society and help them go in the "right" direction.


It's almost like knowing the truth but having to live with an invisible muzzle over the mouth.
 

JihadiJohn

Permabanned
Joined
Oct 14, 2017
Messages
10
Stop disappearing YOU'RE NOT A MAGICIAN, you don't "door-slam people cause you have deep values that were hurt, you are just a crybaby. #1 type to want to be treated like a lady one minute and then a slut the next, you wonder why you're impossible to please.
 
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