I think it may be a Te thing honestly...I may meet someone and recognize immediately that I will not be close friends with them as I know they would not understand me and find me strange (Fi). I dont dislike them or like them. I am neutral. Polite but neutral and not trusting with emotions-which means they see very little emotion at all displayed externally.
However I will listen and assume they have the best intent and are not going to cheat me or try and hurt me in our interactions. Sometimes I will find people I really DO dislike. An ISTJ springs to mind. I find him to very controlling and he plays a bit politically. Yet I recognize he intends well by the people he manages. So I dislike him-but I still trust his intent overall.
ENFPs are pretty well known for being too accepting and too forgiving. I find I can forgive pretty much anything done without intent. The person messed up. I explain how they messed up, then explain why it hurts, the request they not repeat the offense. This works really well for Te users-who mostly hurt due to theur inherent nature as you point out above-they are seeking to structure and control their world and dont recognize the harm that can result. They respond exceptionally well to very direct confrontation and explanation. They then remold their Te rules to include not repeating a behavior-especially if you can explain how hurting another interferes with their desired objective they are trying to accomplish.
But typically you dont dwell on the emotional hurt-you move directly to a list of things they should not do again...Te boundaries. Do this, dont do this...
I have a harder time understand people who deliberately hurt others. Who make a choice to say or do something cruel or hurtful, knowing it will hurt/cut/wound the other person. If I have explained a behavior to a Te user for instance-then they repeat the behavior-they are now hurting others intentionally. That does not get easily forgiven, but oddly I dont see it very often unless they are under a lot of stress or in pain.
with respect to hurt I suspect an Fe user will spend far more time explaining and elaborating on the description of hurt and emotional pain-hoping to prompt the internal Ti logical rationalization and thought process in another pperson as onemoretime suggested earlier. Please let me know if I have misunderstood this though.... I will briefly mention hurt, but immediately jump to Te boundary settings. "You really hurt me when you did this, This is why it hurt, please do/dont do X, Y, and Z...."
Please correct if I have misunderstood or misphrased as I much appreciate hearing how others view situations.