I am almost inverse.... I may not like everyone...but i tend to trust them as being forthright and having the best intent even if they hurt others inadvertently. It takes me some amount of time to connect emotionally and like a person...but I tend to trust intent almost immediately.
Why would one person intentionally harm another? It really boggles my mind when I see this occur...yet i know it happens intentionally. I recall learning this last year about ENTPs...and just being utterly heartbroken that my favorite type of people would intentionally hurt me....I was so niave.
Thread: Common INFJ issues
07-30-2010, 05:47 PM #361
07-30-2010, 06:03 PM #362
Thirdly, I've learned that many types are not look-down-the-road-people. They're more take it as it comes. For me, I want to know that something is worth the possible effort or pain it involves before embarking on it. I don't tend to believe the somehow it'll work out eventually way of looking at things that some people are able to have. Also as Toonia said, my default position is understanding that whether intentionally or not, every person is capable of causing harm. Therefore it is up to me to be vigilant about considering what kind of potential harm I allow to happen to myself or the others involved by taking a particular course of action or taking a chance on something.
So yeah, INFJs tend to take things too seriously at times- with all our mental post it notes to organize and all- and it brings an incredible sense of relief when someone can come along and effectively lighten us up. At least for me it is.
07-30-2010, 06:53 PM #363
07-30-2010, 06:54 PM #364
Concur with all the points you made, Z Buck. I'd say that reflects my own experiences as well.
07-31-2010, 09:01 AM #365
Do you guys see how the NeTi..in the INTP in ZB's case... brings a sense of relief? An ENFP does the same thing with Fi to an IXTJ-which is why they find our glow charming, not annoying.
If an ENFP shows up in flutterbug glow mode, it would annoy you guys, you would find it disruptive, but it taps into the IXTJs tert Fi...thus they find it a relief and find it charming.
If an ENTP (or INTP) shows up in logical sarcasm mode, it would annoy the INTJs and they would find it disrputive, but it taps into your tert Ti...thus you find it funny and a relief.
Do you see the almost mathematical symmetry of the two sentences above? This is how my Ne works. It makes up many sets of relationships like this and then plays down the paths endlessly exploring. Sometimes it is all guesswork and totally wrong, but sometimes it makes really interesting predictions.
07-31-2010, 09:12 AM #366
07-31-2010, 09:26 AM #367
Do you find you ever get in a situation where you are trying to figure out if you should interact with a person or not...but cant really see far enough forward on the future path to be certain...so you freeze up and get sorta stuck, or choose not to take any path?
Did you find that when younger you were less likely or more likely to trust/distrust your mental post it notes? Did you learn over time to be more careful about post it note entries or is this a very natural, instinctual process?
Would you say people provide the context for situations you are in? If you were presented a people problem, but the people were not specific people, but rather abstract people, would it be harder for you to decide what the right or wrong decision was? For instance "person A and person B walk into a room. Person A does this...Was that wrong/right?"
Do you find that while behavioral inconsistency in others does bother you, once you understand the root, you can rationalize and/or establish an Ni context and accept the person?
(This is huge in my EXTP interactions. The ENFP behavioral (emo-moody) inconsistency sends up red flags to their tert Fe. Only those I am very, very close are okay with it, as they have established a meta Ti map for Fi emotional fluctuation in me , treating me as a Ti system. With the others I have to careful to never let them see what I feel, or they lose trust. I wasnt sure how flexible NiFe is in this regard.)
07-31-2010, 09:43 AM #368
I don't think it is possible to fully love unless one can look at the ugliness and pain in the reality of human interaction and look for understanding and non-judgment rather than responding by hating and in turn inflicting more judgment and punishment. But I think it is important to have a raw honesty about the hurt that exists.
07-31-2010, 06:42 PM #369
08-01-2010, 07:52 AM #370
- Join Date
- Jan 2009
the mental post-its analogy is right on.
Lately, I have been telling myself not to stick to those internal scripts so much but to let the script play itself as it were.
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