Thread: Common INFJ issues
07-21-2010, 12:12 AM #191
07-21-2010, 12:27 AM #192
I wish that there was a thread this thorough on all of the types.() 9w8-4w3-7w6 tritype.
sCueI (primary Inquisition)
07-21-2010, 12:34 AM #193
07-21-2010, 12:36 AM #194
I have read the Wench's posts. She is pushy, bold, in-your-face...and apparently didn't read the 'if you are not an INFJ commenting on a thread started by an INFJ you damn well better behave like a guest (?)' rule.
But she has a lot of integrity...and I appreciate that.
One of the things that brought me to typology is that I felt the people were so evolved here. I felt like this was a place where we didn't have to 'use the formal living room' but could let it all hang out. I hope I feel differently tomorrow (which of course I will be forever the person in this post...but I still hope to feel differently).
Last edited by Starry; 07-21-2010 at 12:40 AM. Reason: so shaken i can't spell or type
07-21-2010, 12:44 AM #195
You can only let it all hang out once you have some positive history and some time spent with the people you are discussing things with (at least in my experience, and I suspect, other INFJs' as well). In real life you don't start making over your acquaintances (who already have a poor first impression) and telling them how to behave without expecting that they will react negatively. Telling them then that their problem is their perception would not win the person over to your way of thinking. Just because this is an internet forum and the medium is written rather than verbal communication doesn't change how you go about approaching people if you want a positive result. I am almost never this direct with someone, but there were already previous discussions about these issues which were completely ignored and left unaddressed while Esoteric persisted in the very behaviour that was getting her into trouble in the first place. That's a sure way to raise hackles.
Actually, this problem is interesting. I've noticed it elsewhere on the forum and in real life too. I think it might be a Fe/Fi difference. My theory is that Fe needs the initial problem to be acknowledged and worked out before it can go on. Fi is more likely to take note that there was a problem, but prefer not to hash it out together. I've tried to go back and fix things with Fi people that I've had misunderstandings with and found that it only made things worse. Whereas for me, I cannot start fresh with them unless I think that they have understood what went wrong and we've worked out how to prevent it. Fe seems to be more about prevention, whereas Fi seems more about reactive as things come up. Does this sound accurate to the rest of you? EJCC was just talking about something similar being a source of misunderstanding. I don't know if Fe/Fi is the key, but I think it might be. Seems to hold true for my ISTJ dad. Kind of that what's done is done and there's no point talking about it.
07-21-2010, 12:47 AM #196SnifflesGuest
07-21-2010, 12:52 AM #197
I'm a procrastinator too. I wonder if it is for different reasons or not...
Can you expand on what you mean by battling over your own private space? Having quiet office space to work in so that you can think and get what you need to do done? Or not having people invade your alone time or personal space?
07-21-2010, 12:59 AM #198SnifflesGuest
Both really. I need a great amount of silence in order to think and be to work for a significant period of time, not to mention recharge myself after a hard day. It's difficult to come by with the people I often have to associate with. They'll interrupt or invade my space for any random reason, or they'll have to chit-chat (loudly) with others right by my work area. Enough to drive me insane. :steam:
07-21-2010, 01:01 AM #199
I think this might be an sp thing. What about you other INFJs?
07-21-2010, 01:02 AM #200
Yes, but there is also the chance that we are committing the same mistakes that were discussed earlier and we don't realize it. And in a way we are telling them how to behave as well. Perhaps asking what would help FPs communicate, might help? We have that Fe wants similarities before differences in conversations, what does Fi want? Is it possible to have both in this conversation?Love wouldn't exist without loneliness to inspire it.
Peach yogurt is made of love. And gnome kidneys. - Domino
I can cope and will cope without polluting my lungs. - Saslou
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