It's not shrinking away in fear...I assumed it was isolated cases of odd judgement about people (or at the very least, wildly different judgement than my own.)
Thread: Common INFJ issues
07-19-2010, 08:36 PM #141
07-19-2010, 08:41 PM #142
Don't take that as me literally meaning you shrinking away in fear! You can use whatever word suits your fancy - disgust, animosity, contempt, disinterest - the point is that the same approach can often yield a unique, perhaps minimally predictable result.
I guess in these situations, Fi is like the Ti function, taking in all the data, trying to make connections between it all; there are few broad brush strokes, mostly fine feathery ones ... people are so changeable and malleable.
But over time, patterns emerge. This now becomes useful information and can be used like tools to aid further understanding. Or each user I suppose has their own agenda and makes what they will of this information, for good or evil ..."Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
― Eleanor Roosevelt
"When people see some things as beautiful,
other things become ugly.
When people see some things as good,
other things become bad."
― Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching
07-19-2010, 10:22 PM #143
So buttonholing is a driving agenda for ENFPs... and I guess I wasn't really aware of this until just now when I wrote these words. In other words, a lot of ENFP behavior is driven by our genuine and sincere interest in understanding the people around us.
I have several tools in my "buttonholing" arsenal, including:
- Putting people at ease with my openness and willingness to self-disclose. (Self-deprecating humor is always a hit.)
- Asking probing questions. And, because I read people so well, my questions usually cut straight to the chase. I'm not afraid to take conversational risks so this is a very "safe" approach for me.
- Quickly making an emotional connection by searching around for a topic of conversation they are interested in, then honing in on this topic when I see them react.
- Making them laugh with my zany humor. I'm unafraid to make an idiot of myself. (No comments from the peanut gallery, please.)
Most importantly, I am unafraid to let the subject of my "buttonholing" activities know that I am interested in learning more about them, which I think freaks some people out.
But why should I hide my interest? I feel it more ethical to be upfront about my interest. I wouldn't want to be surreptitious because this smacks of dishonesty and manipulation.
So Fidelia and other INFJs, if I were to "buttonhole" you, how would this make you feel?ENFP with kick*ss Te | 7w8 so | ♀
07-19-2010, 11:20 PM #144
We express love and expect its expression in surprisingly different ways (cf. The Five Love Languages).
My Mom's INFJ love for me was no less deep or wonderful than my ENFP's love for me.
Oh, and the surest way to wound your INTJ S.O. to the core is to tell him or her: "You don't really love me." (I've heard these words spoken to me, and I've heard other INTJ's mention their SOs saying similar things before breaking up.) The feelings of love are there and they are deeply felt. Only the expression differs from person to person.
07-20-2010, 12:12 AM #145
07-20-2010, 01:44 AM #146
Okay, I have some responses pending- but I went to wiki just now, to look up "buttonholing", because I'm having trouble undertstanding exactly what Esoteric means. And anyway, I thought this was really funny and I feel the need to post it:
07-20-2010, 05:59 AM #147
#2 - Z Buck McFate, aren't you the one immortalized on this very forum on another user's signature with some quote about a "Butt Touching free-for-all"? The scatological undertones of your posts are beginning to disturb me. Click here for an example of said immortalization.
#3 - Buttonholing (which in the last 12 hours I've decided sounds disturbingly like cornh...<voice trails off>. Go back to #2 for more about this) is an Esoteric Wench-ism for whenever she decides she wants to learn more about someone. She buttonholes them.
Buttonhole v.tr. To accost and detain (a person) in conversation by or as if by grasping the person's outer garments: "He was also frequently buttonholed by White House lobbyists . . . who seemed to be permanently assigned to shadow the burly Democrat" (Terence Moran). [probably alteration of button-hold.] - The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language
ENFP with kick*ss Te | 7w8 so | ♀
07-20-2010, 06:46 AM #148
07-20-2010, 06:56 AM #149
Butt shooting is a variety of archery where a person will shoot at wedge shaped turfs of earth. On the turfs small round plaster targets would be placed. Such targets were formerly mandated by statute in every parish in England for archers to practice on. - From Butt shooting - eNotes.com Reference
Why do British games always have the most arcane nomenclature systems. Learning all the terms used in cricket is akin to studying the architectural details of a Gothic cathedral.ENFP with kick*ss Te | 7w8 so | ♀
07-20-2010, 07:13 AM #150
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