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Thread: INF depth?

  1. #51
    Senior Member marm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    That is a shame that they don't appreciate your input. My husband I work best as a team if he shares his Ni and allows input from my Ne. He appreicates the Ne and is amazed that I can connect things he is too focused on his original idea to do so. The two can complement well I think.
    Sometimes they appreciate it, but I can tell when my best friend is listening merely out of politeness. I appreciate that he lets me blather on. He understands I can't help myself.

  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    I'd like to ask why the dominant Fi users consider Fe to be "cold"?
    I have read descriptions that describe use of Fe as connection. From what I have observed of Fe, it feels like standing at a distance pointing at an other, or standing back observing and complimenting, but it doesn't feel like connection per se. Connection to me is going deep inside and bridging to, or feeling an other's inside. I don't exactly call Fe cold, but it seems a tad more distant. It's a difference in functionality.

  3. #53
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by will5250 View Post
    I have read descriptions that describe use of Fe as connection. From what I have observed of Fe, it feels like standing at a distance pointing at an other, or standing back observing and complimenting, but it doesn't feel like connection per se. Connection to me is going deep inside and bridging to, or feeling an other's inside. I don't exactly call Fe cold, but it seems a tad more distant. It's a difference in functionality.
    I would feel rather uncomfortable with someone looking that deep automatically, especially if I didn't know or trust them well. It honestly feels invasive, and I don't really appreciate it. So for some people, Fe actually is the more sympathetic approach. Especially when you can't understand people messing around and trying to invade your core self with their personal feelings about things, which are inconsistent and inapplicable under most circumstances.

    It's almost like I'm often left thinking, "I disagree with your perspective after having considered it relative to other perspectives, so quit making judgments about my feelings based on the nature of something I can't control. Look at the fact that I'm still being nice to you, and don't think less of you for differing with me. Don't act as if your perception is right despite anything that is said, and start making inaccurate assumptions about my motives for disagreeing based on it."

    This is the conflict I can have with Fi frequently. It seems like this can happen with any xxFP. What I don't like is that it's hard to get them to listen to what I'm saying instead of ignoring what I was saying and looking for the tone behind it, when what I was actually saying would have explained to them what they wanted to know about my feelings better than my tone would have.

    Yet it doesn't seem like this happens with all of them. It seems to me that the ones who open their minds and become more aware are far less likely to do this to me (It's probably much like what heart said).

    So I guess the point is, Fi and Fe are both valid ways of Feeling, and people are usually more comfortable with one or the other.

  4. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by will5250 View Post
    I have read descriptions that describe use of Fe as connection. From what I have observed of Fe, it feels like standing at a distance pointing at an other, or standing back observing and complimenting, but it doesn't feel like connection per se. Connection to me is going deep inside and bridging to, or feeling an other's inside. I don't exactly call Fe cold, but it seems a tad more distant. It's a difference in functionality.
    It scares me at times because I just feel I cannot know when it is sincere or just trying to be social. If I say something it is because I felt moved to, not because I wanted to make a specific impression on someone else or fit to a social expectation. I have made mis-steps in my life taking someone's Fe seriously when it wasn't serious. Makes one gunshy is all.

  5. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by athenian200 View Post
    So I guess the point is, Fi and Fe are both valid ways of Feeling, and people are usually more comfortable with one or the other.

    Songs:

    Fi - Depeche Mode "Stripped"

    Okay now maybe some Fe will provide example of Fe in lyrics.

  6. #56
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Here's one for INFJ that I long felt fit, but I don't know about other FJ's (has Ni and Ti elements as well, but Fe is there):

    Styx | Brave New World lyrics

    What do you think?

  7. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade View Post
    Sometimes they appreciate it, but I can tell when my best friend is listening merely out of politeness. I appreciate that he lets me blather on. He understands I can't help myself.
    If your posts here and on the other board are an example of you, then I don't think you blather on.

  8. #58
    Senior Member marm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    If your posts here and on the other board are an example of you, then I don't think you blather on.
    I'm sure I'd be more reserved on internet boards than when talking in private with best friend. But I'm pretty reserved no matter what the context.

    Maybe it isn't blathering, but what I'm excited about isn't always exciting to my friend. When something is on my mind, then its the only thing I can think about and I'll relate everything to it. I obsess and won't let it drop. And, when like that, I can't help but talk about it.

    Its funny that you brought up how I am on these boards. Part of the reason I joined places like this is so I'd have other outlets for my thoughts. I have too many interests that one person or even one board can't satisfy my need to express myself and get responses back.

    Thanks for telling me I don't blather. Its always nice to hear.

  9. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by athenian200 View Post
    I would feel rather uncomfortable with someone looking that deep automatically, especially if I didn't know or trust them well. It honestly feels invasive, and I don't really appreciate it. So for some people, Fe actually is the more sympathetic approach. Especially when you can't understand people messing around and trying to invade your core self with their personal feelings about things, which are inconsistent and inapplicable under most circumstances.

    It's almost like I'm often left thinking, "I disagree with your perspective after having considered it relative to other perspectives, so quit making judgments about my feelings based on the nature of something I can't control. Look at the fact that I'm still being nice to you, and don't think less of you for differing with me. Don't act as if your perception is right despite anything that is said, and start making inaccurate assumptions about my motives for disagreeing based on it."

    This is the conflict I can have with Fi frequently. It seems like this can happen with any xxFP. What I don't like is that it's hard to get them to listen to what I'm saying instead of ignoring what I was saying and looking for the tone behind it, when what I was actually saying would have explained to them what they wanted to know about my feelings better than my tone would have.

    Yet it doesn't seem like this happens with all of them. It seems to me that the ones who open their minds and become more aware are far less likely to do this to me (It's probably much like what heart said).

    So I guess the point is, Fi and Fe are both valid ways of Feeling, and people are usually more comfortable with one or the other.
    I can't seem to get the multi quote option to work on this thing. I'll figure it out.

    Athenian, its not like I read your mind. I want to hear your explanation. It's kind of like listening to choral music. Music is also a language that communicates meaning. When I listen to choral music, I am comparing the words to the music and often marveling at the composer's skill in making his music communicate similar or the same meaning as the words sung with it. With people, I get dual communication, and when the two don't match up I wonder who is wrong, my perception or their explanation. I am very slow to accuse people of misrepresenting themselves. I want them to turn out to be genuine, or to be able to justify their motivations, but the dissonance does bother me.

  10. #60
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    I wanted to add that reading the early part of this thread was a very novel experience for me. I am unaccustomed to attributes of INFP being described, by people who are of other personality types, as 'desirable'. I guess what I am trying to say, is thank you.

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