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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    I really, really think you're an ENFP because your confessed tendency to flip out when your emotions start coming sounds like Fi, not Fe. Not wanting to hold back your own feelings without consideration of what it might cause or how it might affect others does not sound like Fe dom to me. I also have had a hard time staying out of conflict, especially when I was younger, and I like to argue with people on Internet forums.

    I could be ENFJ, but I doubt it.
    Okay, I might believe it. I do tend to get bored of things easily and want change in my life. However, I am very committed to my obligations...so maybe that's just one of those personal values that you always hear them talk about in reference to ENFP's? I guess it causes me in many ways to be very close-minded. I've never been a risk-taker and many people think of me as one of the most extreme goody two shoes.

    ...Hmm. The more I read into it, the more I sound like an ENFP. Warm around people, bored with monotony but still dedicated to personal values. Makes sense, actually. Before I just go changing my type, though (haha), do any of you other ENFP's also feel that you have trouble avoiding conflict?

  2. #32
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    Alright, alright, I'm changing my type to ENFx. xD



    I have read that ENFP's are very fleeting and move on quickly. Is this true? Because, while I crave and enjoy change, I am also afraid of it. And I don't move on quickly. I am very serious about sticking to my obligations, and it takes me a LONG time to get over things.

    Yet I am not charismatic. I consider myself to be warm and fun-loving, easy to get along with and to work with, but I don't think I have a whole lot of charisma or am particularly a leader.

  3. #33
    Uniqueorn William K's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    One trend I've noticed is that Js tend to be more about prevention, whereas Ps prefer to deal with problems as they come. The modbox is very interesting in this respect!
    Yeah, proactive vs reactive
    4w5, Fi>Ne>Ti>Si>Ni>Fe>Te>Se, sp > so > sx

    appreciates being appreciated, conflicted over conflicts, afraid of being afraid, bad at being bad, predictably unpredictable, consistently inconsistent, remarkably unremarkable...

    I may not agree with what you are feeling, but I will defend to death your right to have a good cry over it

    The whole problem with the world is that fools & fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. ~ Bertrand Russell

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spastic_Blondie View Post
    Alright, alright, I'm changing my type to ENFx. xD



    I have read that ENFP's are very fleeting and move on quickly. Is this true? Because, while I crave and enjoy change, I am also afraid of it. And I don't move on quickly. I am very serious about sticking to my obligations, and it takes me a LONG time to get over things.
    You sound A LOT like me. I think the fear of change can come from Si. It also takes me a VERY long time to get over relationships, especially.

    Yet I am not charismatic. I consider myself to be warm and fun-loving, easy to get along with and to work with, but I don't think I have a whole lot of charisma or am particularly a leader.
    I am not saying I am totally sure you are ENFP, because my own type has come into question, but it seems almost that you're describing...Si, not Ni.

    I relate to a lot of things you've said, though.

    Whatever that means~!

  5. #35
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    i have an enfj friend who is a master of both confrontation and non-confrontation

    she does not at all mind acting a bit haughty or cold, giving an icy glare, or speaking frankly if she feels like it's called for

    but the more i get to know her, the more i see that she is deceptive and really quite non-confrontational. she sometimes gets others to do her confronting for her.

    silly manipulative NFs

  6. #36
    Senior Member Blossom500's Avatar
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    try this link it goes into a little more depth about preferences etc Fe and Fi etc Cognitive Processes

  7. #37
    Senior Member Blossom500's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    I generally feel bad for not having said as much as I should have. There's that saying about not crying over spilled milk - she would be likely to at least discuss how the spill could have been avoided and how we will be preventing spills in the future for sure.
    I spill stuff all the time :-)

    Quote Originally Posted by Spastic_Blondie View Post
    I made sure to answer everything as accurately as possible. It still insists I'm an ENFJ.
    HAve you done one with percentages? I am sure there is an online one that does that. Will look for you if you have not. If you have done one what percentages did you get? That might give a clue.


    Quote Originally Posted by Spastic_Blondie View Post
    I do a lot of spilling. I desperately want to stop and have been working on it as best as I can.
    Last year I found out I have ADHD and when on my meds I spill so much less and don't break sos many glasses... not that I am implying you have ADHD. It just reminded me that I don't do it as much.

    Quote Originally Posted by Spastic_Blondie View Post

    Mainly I'm a huge basket case. Solving and preventing problems is NOT my forte.

    Argghh...I still have no idea what my type is! :steam: I AM READY TO START SOME SERIOUS CONFLICT OVER THIS.

    Lol. Kidding!
    As a result of being so bad at conflict I have now made it my mission. I have just started a Masters in Medication and Conflict Resolution in a hope that I may be able to speak up in a good way before I get over emotional... and sort things out if I do Because I have found also that if that strong emotion does not go out it goes inside instead and that is even more dangerous when it is that bad. If I speak up for myself sooner I 1 don't blow up and 2. don't risk it turning inwards (depression, safe hatred etc.)

    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    I really, really think you're an ENFP because your confessed tendency to flip out when your emotions start coming sounds like Fi, not Fe. Not wanting to hold back your own feelings without consideration of what it might cause or how it might affect others does not sound like Fe dom to me. I also have had a hard time staying out of conflict, especially when I was younger, and I like to argue with people on Internet forums.

    I could be ENFJ, but I doubt it.
    Yes I agree.

    Quote Originally Posted by Spastic_Blondie View Post
    Okay, I might believe it. I do tend to get bored of things easily and want change in my life. However, I am very committed to my obligations...so maybe that's just one of those personal values that you always hear them talk about in reference to ENFP's? I guess it causes me in many ways to be very close-minded. I've never been a risk-taker and many people think of me as one of the most extreme goody two shoes.

    ...Hmm. The more I read into it, the more I sound like an ENFP. Warm around people, bored with monotony but still dedicated to personal values. Makes sense, actually. Before I just go changing my type, though (haha), do any of you other ENFP's also feel that you have trouble avoiding conflict?
    I will meet all my obligations and I usually take on too many at the expense of myself.

    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    You sound A LOT like me. I think the fear of change can come from Si. It also takes me a VERY long time to get over relationships, especially.



    I am not saying I am totally sure you are ENFP, because my own type has come into question, but it seems almost that you're describing...Si, not Ni.

    I relate to a lot of things you've said, though.

    Whatever that means~!
    Not sure I like change but I like adventure. I like change though when I am bored or feel trapped in an unjust situation... the stubborn bit.

  8. #38
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Wow, my reactions are so much different from what's being said.

    When I'm about to get into conflict (happens way often, lol), I get a little thrill in my stomach and I'm like "Bring it on! Let's do this shit!" and then I pray to God they don't have a gun or a knife. I'm all talk.

    I can think of two casual situations that have happened within the last two months where I got into arguments with complete strangers and I was like "is that it? :sad:" Both times involved me being on my cell phone in a public space and people telling me to shut up and me telling them to f*ck off. The first guy threatened to throw his book at me (I'm sitting in an outside patio at a coffee shop) and I told him if throws his book at me I'm taking a chair to his head. Actually that ended pretty well and we had a nice conversation after that died down.

    The next person called me the Devil several times while I was in B&N. B&N is not a library and I was in a corner practically whispering with my inside voice. She then threatened to call security on me and I told her to do what she felt like she had to do. Security told her talking on a cell phone wasn't illegal or something they threw people out for. While I do understand it was probably annoying, I also realize when I'm out it public there's not much I can do if someone does something I don't like unless they put their hands on me, my property, or are yelling at me in my face.

    I won't even go into how many times I've been called insubordinate and unwilling to take direction and instruction at work. Nevermind that people think that I'm the Wicked Witch of Typology Central, with one member insinuating that I'm a Chicago politician.

    So yeah, I don't know what all this is about. I'm quite scrappy. Conflict avoidant is not me by a long shot!
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
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  9. #39
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    One trend I've noticed is that Js tend to be more about prevention, whereas Ps prefer to deal with problems as they come. The modbox is very interesting in this respect!
    Yes, this is one of the best ways to distiguish the two.




    To the OP, I know a more than a few ESFJs who will gladly start conflict. Actually, it's the Fe types I know who can be the most open to confrontation. I have two close friends, both Fe-doms(the guy is an ESFJ, the gal is an ENFJ), who have dated off and on for the past 10-years and have an elementary school aged son. We had to stop going out with them for awhile because they'd get into public fighting matches when we all went out as a group. They would argue, yell and carry on, no matter where we were. One time they got into a screaming match on a kayak! They've called it quits, but they reached out to each of us in our group before they did. They wanted advice, they wanted us to know how they felt, they each gave their side of the conflict, etc.

    My grandmother is a stereotypical ESFJ, but she's also quite confrontational when she wants to be. She's also right in the middle of the drama in our family, and more often than not, she's had a hand in starting it. She easily builds and divides loyalties, and will "go off" on you. It's not beyond her.

    I'm naturally accommodating, but I'm also very assertive and direct and will get into conflict to defend other people or myself. I like to have issues resolved when they come up, not later. I also believe that conflict can lead to growth and understanding. Conflict avoiders frequently exacerbate problems by putting issues off until later and sweeping them under the rug, delaying the inevitable. It's surely not always neccessary, helpful, nor appropriate to express your displeasure, and I most typically keep things to myself until I've worked out a peaceful solution in my mind, but I'm not perfect. I've never been in a physical fight, but I have seriously told some people off, something Fe would seem much better at than Te(??). Fe can embarass you, put you in your place, disconnect from you and turn others against you because of its focus on people and social dynamics. The one time I was ever suspended from school was when a friend of mine was being nasty to another one and I encouraged a group to send the offender a letter, telling her off. Granted, I was about 12 or so and my actions were immature, but you get the point.
    There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe.

  10. #40
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    I know two ENFJs IRL, one male, one female.

    Neither is avoidant of conflict.

    Both are sensitive, and like for there to be harmony, but neither shy away from a good showdown if needed.

    --------------------
    Type Stats:
    MBTI -> (E) 77.14% | (i) 22.86% ; (S) 60% | (n) 40% ; (T) 72.22% | (f) 27.78% ; (P) 51.43% | (j) 48.57%
    BIG 5 -> Extroversion 77% ; Accommodation 60% ; Orderliness 62% ; Emotional Stability 64% ; Open Mindedness 74%

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