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  1. #21
    Senior Member Blossom500's Avatar
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    I could do that but am too nice :-) - even when I have lost it I have to try to control the intensity for fear of being swallowed up by my own fire of burning fury and tragic sense of unlovableness... This is perhaps my greatest fear and why I try to avoid conflict. Besides if it that serious an offence against me for me to actually challenge in the first place, my crying and screaming aint going to help the situation. If it is really really serious though I become iced-Te Queen. I also be much more confrontational as an advocate for others :-) All care and no responsibility! I wonder, why is that?

  2. #22
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    Ha, well thanks for your patience, everyone. I'm pretty new to all of this. It's always kind of interesting when getting the answer to the question leaves you more confused than you were before you asked it.

    Everything that I have read describes sensing versus intuition as "think in the now" or "think in the future." I'm definitely a future thinker. I imagine big plans but have a hard time dealing with the drudgery of everyday tasks. And everything I have read says that judging versus perceiving is the difference between generally deciding "based on rules" or "based on looking at the current situation." In that case, I tend to be more of a judger. Many people see me as opinionated and unchangeable. I make decisions right away and very rarely do my ideas change. I'll admit that, while I do admire and would like to better understand perceivers, I often tend to be critical of many individuals because I often feel as though they have no direction in their lives. This definitely isn't necessarily the case, but I've noticed that it is often the way I interpret it...even if I'm way off base on that interpretation. [EDIT: Now that I think of it, this rigidity could be based on my core inner values...a trait displayed by ENFP's. But even ENFP's avoid conflict, right?]

    I can relate to Blossom 500 in that "fire of burning fury and tragic sense of unlovableness," but I don't hold it back. Containing it is even worse (not to mention harder) for me than the dreadful and horrifying feeling of being in a conflict. As much as I hate conflict (for that reason I guess, now that I think of it, you could say I AM afraid of it), it is almost impossible for me to avoid it when my emotions start flipping out...which happens quite often. Okay, nothing is impossible (and I'm better off not making excuses or else I will never improve, haha), but I would definitely say that of life's challenges, staying out of conflict is one of the most challenging. I feel like I'm racing into a dark forest filled with wild beasts where there is no way out, only a misleading sign that leads me even further in. Once I'm in an argument, I try very hard to get out and usually make matters even WORSE. Things get pretty intense.

    I wouldn't consider that charismatic, which is why I question if I'm really an ENFJ. My emotions take control of me and I lose all charisma.

    Maybe I'm an S or a T...I have no idea. But they just don't seem to fit me. And I've read up on all sixteen personality types and have concluded that I best fit with ENFJ or possibly ENFP. The tests also say so. But maybe I've just got a LOT of ST traits as well.

    Ahh...confusion. Can't there be another type called ESNFTJP? LOL.

  3. #23
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    My mum is an ENFJ and while I would definitely say that she doesn't go looking for conflict, she is much more likely to be direct and speak her mind than I do. She is more likely to feel bad later for saying more than she should (not necessarily being harsher though) in the heat of the moment. I generally feel bad for not having said as much as I should have. I think the conflict tends to be more with people she is close to, or when there is an issue of justice or fairness. Any of the conflicts she has had with my brother have been over the welfare of the kids, not personal stuff. With my dad, it has usually been the same - stuff where she thought it would really matter in the end, not just conflict for the sake of it. There's that saying about not crying over spilled milk - she would be likely to at least discuss how the spill could have been avoided and how we will be preventing spills in the future for sure.

  4. #24
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    Maybe you need to find a quality test to take?

    Anyone have any recommendations of good MBTI test sites for Blondie to check out?

    Try this one

    Free Jung Personality Test
    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

  5. #25
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Protean is pleasant, but also not afraid of conflict. She is direct when she feels the situation calls for it.

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sparrow View Post
    Maybe you need to find a quality test to take?

    Anyone have any recommendations of good MBTI test sites for Blondie to check out?

    Try this one

    Free Jung Personality Test
    I made sure to answer everything as accurately as possible. It still insists I'm an ENFJ.

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    My mum is an ENFJ and while I would definitely say that she doesn't go looking for conflict, she is much more likely to be direct and speak her mind than I do. She is more likely to feel bad later for saying more than she should (not necessarily being harsher though) in the heat of the moment. I generally feel bad for not having said as much as I should have. I think the conflict tends to be more with people she is close to, or when there is an issue of justice or fairness. Any of the conflicts she has had with my brother have been over the welfare of the kids, not personal stuff. With my dad, it has usually been the same - stuff where she thought it would really matter in the end, not just conflict for the sake of it. There's that saying about not crying over spilled milk - she would be likely to at least discuss how the spill could have been avoided and how we will be preventing spills in the future for sure.
    I do a lot of spilling. I desperately want to stop and have been working on it as best as I can.

  8. #28
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    One trend I've noticed is that Js tend to be more about prevention, whereas Ps prefer to deal with problems as they come. The modbox is very interesting in this respect!

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    One trend I've noticed is that Js tend to be more about prevention, whereas Ps prefer to deal with problems as they come. The modbox is very interesting in this respect!
    Hmm...maybe I am a P, then! I mean, I have a strict set of standards that I follow, but when it comes to problems...I don't tend to prevent them very well! I just deal with my mistakes as they come, mainly because I know I'm not going to stop making them...and what am I supposed to do about THAT?

    Mainly I'm a huge basket case. Solving and preventing problems is NOT my forte.

    Argghh...I still have no idea what my type is! :steam: I AM READY TO START SOME SERIOUS CONFLICT OVER THIS.

    Lol. Kidding!

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spastic_Blondie View Post
    Hmm...maybe I am a P, then! I mean, I have a strict set of standards that I follow, but when it comes to problems...I don't tend to prevent them very well! I just deal with my mistakes as they come, mainly because I know I'm not going to stop making them...and what am I supposed to do about THAT?

    Mainly I'm a huge basket case. Solving and preventing problems is NOT my forte.

    Argghh...I still have no idea what my type is! :steam: I AM READY TO START SOME SERIOUS CONFLICT OVER THIS.

    Lol. Kidding!

    I really, really think you're an ENFP because your confessed tendency to flip out when your emotions start coming sounds like Fi, not Fe. Not wanting to hold back your own feelings without consideration of what it might cause or how it might affect others does not sound like Fe dom to me. I also have had a hard time staying out of conflict, especially when I was younger, and I like to argue with people on Internet forums.

    I could be ENFJ, but I doubt it.

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