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[INFJ] Aren't INFJs supposed to be a very rare type?

Aquarelle

Starcrossed Seafarer
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Jun 16, 2010
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so/sp
My stance has always been that INFJs are probably the most obsessed with what makes up our personalities... what makes us unique, how we tick, and how we can improve ourselves. So, logically, we'd be the group that gravitates to this board. Just look at the lack of SF and ST on the board despite being like 75%+ of the populace. It isn't a drive in their lives.

Plus we're so misunderstood sometimes that we start to wonder if there's something wrong with us. :D And when we find that there are others like us, we flock together.
 

swift sylvan

New member
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May 11, 2010
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55
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NiTi
I think as mentioned earlier people do gravitate towards wanting to be infj's, the description (whether accurate or not) describes infj's with a deep reservoir of empathy, ability to understand things most people are unable to grasp, and have a steady focus of applying to themselves for the projects they see worth devoting themselves to. Of course all the types have positive attributes, but in my opinion the infj has the best (or one of the best) good qualities listed.

I think, there is a lot of bias in typing ourselves. It is easy to see when we feel emotional, we are using abstract thought, as well as other processes. And because it is relatively easy to focus on certain emotions it is easy to omit noticing others and see oneself more as an infj (or whatever)

For myself personally I feel like I still haven't figured out my personality because it is balanced along e/i, f/t, and j/p, and yet it seems to adapt and change as needed depending on the people and situation.

Of course it is also possible that this theory and website do attract a lot of infj's.
 

Emerald Rain

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Meh, being an INFJ is nothing special. Wishing to be an INFJ is like wishing to be a lighthouse keeper in a remote island. Not sure why would anyone be attracted to that image.






In my sick way I love that image though :)
 

skylights

i love
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i think i secretly (well not secretly anymore) aspire to be an INFJ. because i love my NF, but i aspire to develop better restraint and be more guarded and reflective like an I, and i also aspire to develop better following through and decisiveness like a J. :yes:

the lighthouse imagery is lovely to me as well.

i feel like enfp is more like the turbulent and ever-changing ocean, lol
 

MrRandom

New member
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Jul 19, 2008
Messages
151
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INFJ
I was thinking...

1% of population is INFJ.
5% of population is gay.

Think about it... Gays are fighting for their rights, and there are five times more of them. Still they have to fight for acceptance. How is it for a group that is five times rarer? Misunderstood much?

I'd guess on average my friends know 2 gay people each. Dividing it by five (1% vs 5%) gives us a result of them statistically knowing 0.4 INFJs. So, every third would be likely to know one. Sounds reasonable, but it's just an estimate.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
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I can think of 5 INFJs I know IRL offhand.....seriously. Online, I can think of like 2 more that I know outside of MBTI sites. I seem to meet them easier than my fellow INFPs.
 

Fidelia

Iron Maiden
Staff member
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May 31, 2009
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14,497
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Really? I'm the opposite. We should have a friend exchange every now and then!
 

scortia

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May 23, 2009
Messages
201
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INFJ
Plus we're so misunderstood sometimes that we start to wonder if there's something wrong with us. :D And when we find that there are others like us, we flock together.

Good point. I had my students take the test for the last few years and my few NFs are the only people who are REALLY into the test after reading their types. And, the INFJs especially, go home and research more. And yes, those are my quirkiest students who are INFJs. They often put on a mask to deal with being so different while in public. A coping mechanism I still use to a lesser degree myself. I think I enjoy the experiment more than my students... it's fun to see how they react to the test and their results.
 

SilkRoad

Lay the coin on my tongue
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I have three close friends who've tested as INFJ and said they really identified with it. I would say one is definitely INFJ and I think she might be 1w9. Another is probably INFJ, I'd say, though I've wondered if she might be INFP - I'm not sure anything else seems likely. I'd say she is DEFINITELY an e-type 4.

As for the third, I have my doubts as to whether she's INFJ. I love her muchly but she can be very aggressive and opinionated. Several mutual friends and acquaintances have also expressed the opinion that she can be quite manipulative, and unfortunately I see a bit of truth in that. I'm not sure it fits with INFJ. I think she's more likely some kind of ExxJ.

I did discover when I went over to Ireland last year that many of my friends there had developed an interest in MBTI since I lived there, which was kind of funny. The majority with whom I discussed it claimed to be some kind of N. I just think this is a trend with people who are interested in MBTI, whether or not they've typed themselves correctly. One of my male friends was supposed to be in INFJ, which I think was quite possible, but I don't know him quite well enough to be sure. The resident ESFJ spent two days running down Ns and telling us how lucky we were to have S's around to keep our feet on the ground. She's married to an INTP. Ouch.
 

Aleksei

Yeah, I can fly.
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I actually don't know a single INFJ IRL. As in... taking mental note just now I know IRL people of every single damn type except INFJ.

Weird.
 

nolla

Senor Membrane
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
3,166
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INFP
I know one INFJ who might actually be ENFJ, and one ENFJ who might be an INFJ. There aren't so many of them... this site is an INFx magnet, that's all. I have never found a forum that felt so much like me.
 

mochajava

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I don't understand why anyone would choose to be an INFJ? Sure it's fun sometimes, but interacting with the world is toughest for the INFJ. Not exactly an INFJ-friendly universe out there...I'm just saying, if you had to fake it, you should go for ENTP or something strong and deliberate and in-your-face. The INFJ ways, I think, are too unappreciated to be highly desired by others.

ps, Sailboat....very funny!!

Agreed, kccrush!
 

mochajava

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I'm a little suspicious of everyone I know having an ex-gf that was an INFJ. Either there are some INFJs out there who date a whole lot more than the ones I'm acquainted with or someone is misdiagnosed. On the other hand, I would be careful not to tell someone that they were or weren't a specific type, as they know themselves better than I do. I'm quite sure I'm an INFJ, but I suppose it's possible that I'm not. Maybe others are equally deluded...

I dated a lot simply because I was better at making SOs than close friends. I've heard others (type unknown) share this sentiment as well. Something about the quietish personality, maybe? Also, the relationship w/ an SO is more deep more quickly than with friends, particularly for me who tends to bond at the speed of mycobacterial growth.
 

Reverie

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I don't understand why anyone would choose to be an INFJ? Sure it's fun sometimes, but interacting with the world is toughest for the INFJ. Not exactly an INFJ-friendly universe out there...I'm just saying, if you had to fake it, you should go for ENTP or something strong and deliberate and in-your-face. The INFJ ways, I think, are too unappreciated to be highly desired by others.

ps, Sailboat....very funny!!

Amen to this. I lived over thirty years feeling like an alien observing a foreign race and have gone through some very painful experiences of loneliness, isolation and generally being thoroughly and absolutely misunderstood... Which in all fairness are very common human emotions; I claim no monopoly.
I suppose it's the reason for the alienation where I find the label The mystic is an accurate description... not as in mystic because I would be better or purer or any of that baloney (no just another humanly human warts and all) but because of that being this nature of the beast. (And I'm not implying any monopoly on spirituality either, just a function of Ni) The faculty just works that way. It's a little hard to explain that you have a grand self forming metaphysical/ontological framework (EDIT: all the labels are of course later additions. You delve in books to find concepts and labels to make things understandable to everyone else.) based mostly on inspired vision that you live by. Sounds like a load of pompous pretentious baloney or lunacy to most people. So what if you actually are just that way. Are you pompous lunatic full of baloney? It's just no fun being around people sometimes...not with Fe. But no use crying about it..
I had personally never met another INFJ untill I stumbled upon one in the music scene. I first got introduced to Briggs Myers by doing some test for fun and we scored the same.
I come to these forums because I'm exhilarated to be "the same" as everyone else instead of an anomaly. It feels comforting.
Most people don't like being lumped or categorized, and want to be individual. I'm revelling in the sameness. It feels good floating in a pool of similiarity.. :campfire:
 
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Inverness

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Amen to this. I lived over thirty years feeling like an alien observing a foreign race and have gone through some very painful experiences of loneliness, isolation and generally being thoroughly and absolutely misunderstood.......

Definitely echos with me as well, to the point that if I was to expand on such...I would sound like a complete loon. Though I don't post much, I do check many of the articles here because it is definitely nice to hear from other INFJs...and every INFJ on the planet is on this site, so there's a good bit of content to soak in.
 

Reverie

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Definitely echos with me as well, to the point that if I was to expand on such...I would sound like a complete loon. Though I don't post much, I do check many of the articles here because it is definitely nice to hear from other INFJs...and every INFJ on the planet is on this site, so there's a good bit of content to soak in.
Yeah, it's one key reason I think many INFJs are quiet about things: The looniness of it all. ;)
In my personal experience of being an INFJ is like, if it was a story, being this normal average person growing up in an apartment hearing...let's say... a symphony orchestra play the most amazing piece of music you've ever heard right next door all the time...(..You think..how strange but maybe It's a huge apartment next door...massive..) Then you may casually mention to your family "Say isn't that piece of music amazing" but to your horror they haven't heard anything. You think "hold on there..You say you can't hear that huge orchestra playing next door...and they point out the obvious, which is there cannot be an orchestra there, the flat's too small and an old lady with two cats lives there. But you are absolutely sure there's a damn orchestra there, because you hear it all the time...Well maybe your family will give you the benefit of the doubt and give you a harmonica and a rhythm egg to replicate the piece. It goes horribly wrong. By this time they think you're maybe a little too stressed and not so normal. You may begin to question wether it actually is so and start pretending there's nothing next door...even if you still hear the music through the wall. But secretly it keeps bugging you and you may even eventually go and learn composition theory and master some instruments to someday portray that piece of music as accurately as you can. And when people say INFJs are these mythical mystical beings I would say...no that's all wrong...it's not like the we made the music. We just heard this song play from next door while watching wheel of fortune in our living room with bunnyslippers on and thought everyone else did too and can't understand why they can't!!
 

wolfy

awsm
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They are probably rare in real life. On typology forums they are a dime a dozen. It is either because infj like typology or they mistyped. I don't know which. Then again maybe they aren't that rare... they could be common as dirt. I wouldn't really know...
 

Inverness

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Yeah, it's one key reason I think many INFJs are quiet about things: The looniness of it all. ;)
In my personal experience of being an INFJ is like, if it was a story, being this normal average person growing up in an apartment hearing...let's say... a symphony orchestra play the most amazing piece of music you've ever heard right next door all the time...(..You think..how strange but maybe It's a huge apartment next door...massive..) Then you may casually mention to your family "Say isn't that piece of music amazing" but to your horror they haven't heard anything. You think "hold on there..You say you can't hear that huge orchestra playing next door...and they point out the obvious, which is there cannot be an orchestra there, the flat's too small and an old lady with two cats lives there. But you are absolutely sure there's a damn orchestra there, because you hear it all the time...Well maybe your family will give you the benefit of the doubt and give you a harmonica and a rhythm egg to replicate the piece. It goes horribly wrong. By this time they think you're maybe a little too stressed and not so normal. You may begin to question wether it actually is so and start pretending there's nothing next door...even if you still hear the music through the wall. But secretly it keeps bugging you and you may even eventually go and learn composition theory and master some instruments to someday portray that piece of music as accurately as you can. And when people say INFJs are these mythical mystical beings I would say...no that's all wrong...it's not like the we made the music. We just heard this song play from next door while watching wheel of fortune in our living room with bunnyslippers on and thought everyone else did too and can't understand why they can't!!

While I've not had that specific occurrence, there's always a lot of weird stuff tracking in and out of my head, in order to maintain the 'not completely insane' appearance...I'll usually end up keeping it to myself. XD

They are probably rare in real life. On typology forums they are a dime a dozen. It is either because infj like typology or they mistyped. I don't know which. Then again maybe they aren't that rare... they could be common as dirt. I wouldn't really know...

I think it has a lot to do with how much we like think about things like this, I know of one other INFJ and they seemed to like to hear about this as stuff as much as I do...all other types seemed to be content with the 'oh, okay, so that's my type...next' approach....with the exception of an ESFJ I know, they seemed to be a good bit intrigued by it as well. And just because this type is supposedly and inherently rare...it doesn't make it better...I can't speak for all, but it's a lonely little world living in your head and not being able to communicate what's in there to others (also going back to the idea of why we like to stick together on places such as this), not sure I'd choose this one out of the 16 if there was a real choice.
 
R

ReflecTcelfeR

Guest
They are probably rare in real life. On typology forums they are a dime a dozen. It is either because infj like typology or they mistyped. I don't know which. Then again maybe they aren't that rare... they could be common as dirt. I wouldn't really know...

I believe that they are rare in America... Because that's where Myer-Briggs system is the most prevalent and actually where Myer-Briggs is directing their system. This is what I read in the least. So they might not be so rare everywhere.
 
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