I'll tell you straight up that Socionics hurts my head... And, I'm not just talking about the poorly translated Ukrainian Websites. It's just very confusing to even more sophisticated students of Jungian-based personality theory like myself. Further complicating the matter is the fact that there are competing Socionics theories with opaque names like Model A and Reinin Dichotomies.
Even amid all the confusion, here's two things I do know:
#1 - How you convert MBTI to Socionics four-letter codes depends on who you ask. A popular theory is that there is no conversion required for Extraverts, but that for Introverts you switch the last letter from P to J or vice verse. I've read other theories that say that no conversion is required because Socionics theory is in error re: j/p stuff. Still I read another that says conversion is impossible because comparing MBTI with Socionics is akin to comparing apples with oranges. These people think Socionics only makes sense if you use Socionics three-letter codes like IEE (Intuitive Ethical Extraverts). So it seems like the only thing anyone can say with certainty is that it is up in the air as to whether either ENFJ or INFP is the same in Socionics as it is in MBTI.
#2 - The coolest thing about Socionics is it's intertype relations theory. It is spooky accurate, per my own anecdotal experience... if you DON'T convert the letters. For example:
INFP/ENFJ & ENFP/INFJ. I can attest from my own experience that these pairs have a weird chemistry going on. Furthermore, these relations are supposed to feel uncomfortable at first because each partner is strong in the other partner's area of discomfort. After the discomfort is worked through, these pairings feel very deep and right. This also matches my own experience (and the experience of several of my INFP friends).
ENFP/ENFJ & INFP/INFJ.
If you don't convert the letters from MBTI, then these are Quasi-Identical relations. And my anecdotal experience support this as well. ENFPs and ENFJs seem to have this visceral dislike for each other. And a quick search of ENFP/ENFJ on this very Website will tell you that I'm not the only one to notice this natural tension. Here's what one Socionics Website
says about these relations:
So back to the original post and questions about how to improve INFP/ENFJ relations. If indeed these are mirror relations (which I think they are), then the trick is to give it some time so move beyond the discomfort. I hope this all makes sense. It is all really confusing, I think.
These are relations of major misunderstanding. Quasi-Identical partners can interact with each other in a more or less peaceful manner if both partners are Thinking types. If they are both Feeling types however, they are likely to have an argumentative relationship. Also, as in the other relations, personal attraction can be very crucial to the peacefulness in their relationship. An absence of personal attraction may cause unnecessary internal tension resulting in conflict between partners. However these arguments do not often last long. After both partners have released their internal tension, the Perceiving partner is usually the first to show the initiative in reconciliation.
A positive aspect of these relations is that Quasi-Identical partners do not underline your weak points and therefore are not viewed as dangerous by each other. Neither do they see each other as equal. Each partner sees the other as less capable than themselves, hence less talented. However, Quasi-Identicals mistakenly believe that their partner is achieving more than they are. This is perceived by both partners as injustice and may hinder the ambitions of both.
In these relations partners always have difficulty understanding each other in full. Quasi-Identical partners always need to convert each other's information in such a way that it corresponds with their own understanding. This conversion requires much energy and does not bring the desired satisfaction. Books written by your Quasi-Identical are impossible to read. The creations of your Quasi-Identical look monstrous. Conversations with your Quasi-Identical, although not heavy, do not bring any satisfaction either. One partner may think that the other partner complicates simple things and simplifies the important points, trying to deliberately confuse and mislead them. Both partners are convinced that whatever their partner was trying to say, could be explained in a different and more understandable way.
Quasi-Identicals normally have no difficulties in finding topics for conversation or discussion. When it comes to solving problems together, Quasi-Identical partners begin to understand that they are both thinking in very different ways. Soon Quasi-Identicals may start regretting the time that they have spent together, believing that it was just wasted time. Quasi-identical relations are very fragile and normally break without regret as there is usually nothing to resist their disunion.
ENTp - ENTj
ISFp - ISFj
ESFj - ESFp
INTj - INTp
ENFj - ENFp
ISTj - ISTp
ESTp - ESTj
INFp - INFj
I need to take an aspirin now. My head is hurting again.