There is a book on this topic of ENFJ marriages, (I believe How to Stop Elderly Abuse- it is based on type, don't let the title scare you. It is the precursor to Power Dating Games: What's Important to Know About the Person You'll Marry by Anne Hart) and it says that ENFJ will resent Fi because it withholds affection and we ENFJ's won't admit or ask for it but we in fact do need it.
All in all it is good to hear the human side of this, meaning it isn't because people don't care, and I am not stupid for doing what is best for myself. Which is really hard to do when it means hurting someone's feelings. It has really made me take a look at my needs and really view them as worthy, which I forget in my group leader status-no longer.