I think once I was told, "I am private" when she didn't want to share and that made me noooooottt happy. The other time she did break down in front of me and let herself be upset which I knew was very rare.
The problem was EFFORT on my side and the frequency or initiation of that. What killed it was 3 months of no openness, and not in any other way than she was busy or we were in a group, or had coffee once in a 3 week period. But it was too little too late by the 2nd month I was mentally like, "you are on probation." The fact is I feel exposed and I have come to the terms that I am EJ and like EJ that I expect the bff to initiate their openness and I saw a posting on this thread that IP are not that way. I guess Pygmalion project?
Sad, because I never thought it meant crap to her that I phased out and she would text like once in a month to me and one of her close friends said losing my friendship was "incredibly hurtful." She never said anything to me....so that sucks cause I was prettttty sad when I finally let it slide.
Also - my mistakes, boundaries, I initiate everything in our social group, I didn't let things fall naturally without me being the social planner, and I think I just had a hard time not saying NO until it was a month or so more of thinking something.
Now I am realizing if I don't plan social activities I see how frequently other people can see me (for me and/or as a group). Helps a lot for us!