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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    The coolest thing about Socionics is it's intertype relations theory. It is spooky accurate, per my own anecdotal experience... if you DON'T convert the letters.
    I agree with this. I've tested out as an INFP in both Socionics and MBTI, and the intertype relations always seem accurate to me (give or take individual differences).

    And I should also mention... I forgot I actually have another ENFJ female friend (haven't seen her in forever). With her, I actually feel 100% comfortable... yes there is still a slight wall, but really it is very comfortable. She is much more, I feel, almost motherly in a way, more mellow and calm, more overseeing, which I guess works better with my sometimes very crazy emotional nature. She seems more laidback. I can't describe it very well.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by angell_m View Post
    Edited: Thought I could answer it, but really, I have no idea.
    That's okay. It's the thought that counts!

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I tend to gel well with ENFJs and more quickly than with other people. The problem is, I feel I hit a wall with them sometimes. As you say, it can begin to feel like a superficial connection, and it's sooo disappointing as I don't see them as superficial people.
    I agree with you. It can make things at least imo very awkward at times, and I find myself wondering what to do or what to talk about to fill in the awkwardness so that we can get back to playful chit chat (or perhaps some deep and meaningful chit chat).

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by musicnerd93 View Post
    I guess to make your friendship seem a little less distanced, you should express how you feel and try to break out of your shell a little bit to make them happy...If that helps at all.
    That's a good idea. I can be so introverted and so awkward, very painfully shy. It makes me cringe thinking about my lack of social grace at times.

    That darn shell. :steam: So hard to break out of... where is my hammer?!

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tantive View Post
    Without knowing any of the rest of the details, did any other infp males have a 'certain thought' come to mind here?
    I'm not sure I know what you're getting at...?

    If you're implying what I think you're implying, well...goodness no! He's gay...and not my type...whether or not MBTI would like to tell me so. Still, as friends we get along pretty well.

  6. #16
    Junior Member Chill's Avatar
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    I guess to make your friendship seem a little less distanced, you should express how you feel and try to break out of your shell a little bit to make them happy...If that helps at all.
    Yeah I've encountered the wall as well and always wondered why. This method of handling the situation seems to work fine, though I haven't had the opportunity to test it long term.

    It's a conscious effort on my part seeing as I am usually the person who listens and used to others initiating feeling-infused conversations before reciprocating.

    I'm not complaining though, it's a learning process and a practice to get me out of my comfort zone, even though ironically I feel comfortable just to be in the presence of ENFJs. How much more ironic can it get?!?!
    Last edited by Chill; 08-06-2010 at 02:45 PM. Reason: ...

  7. #17
    Babylon Candle Venom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheEmeraldCanopy View Post
    I agree with you. It can make things at least imo very awkward at times, and I find myself wondering what to do or what to talk about to fill in the awkwardness so that we can get back to playful chit chat (or perhaps some deep and meaningful chit chat).
    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post

    I tend to gel well with ENFJs and more quickly than with other people. The problem is, I feel I hit a wall with them sometimes. As you say, it can begin to feel like a superficial connection, and it's sooo disappointing as I don't see them as superficial people.
    I think as ENFJs we sometimes worry so much about "what is proper", not in a rule based way, but a more "is it my place to drag this other person deep into my psyche?". This sort of thinking can leave us wondering whether to let people in. In my own world, I don't really trust the opposite sex with my deeper psyche unless they have shown some sort of physical affection. Not sure if thats good or bad... meh :/ ...platonic friends I assume to just not really care (and thus the wall you guys describe).

  8. #18
    That's my name biotch! JoSunshine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    The problem is, I feel I hit a wall with them sometimes.
    TIRES SQUEELING...CRASH! Yeah, I've hit aforementioned wall with my INFP guy.

    It's so odd to me. We really hit it off and seemed to connect on a deep level. But lately it seems like we are further apart 4 months into it than we were 2 weeks in

    I have backed off (as a matter-of-fact I suggested we keep things casual rather than do the BF-GF thing) becuase I felt like I was banging my head against the wall getting him to open up or even just spend time together doing nothing (he thinks I'll be bored unless he is engaging me somehow, so not true). There are some other issues as well, but we won't get into all of that as they aren't related to the "wall".

    Just today he had his job review and I gather that it didn't go so well from his short responses. He shut down the convo and is out getting hammered with his buddies now. I know he wants to talk about it, but he just won't at least not with me. I'M GOOD AT LISTENING DAMN IT! Seems like everyone talks to me good or bad except him

    All that aside, I still think there is something very special there. I think this relationship just might take longer to perculate than I am used to. I'm going to keep giving it the old college try and see if we can't bust down this wall becuase I think there may be greatness on the other side
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. " - Dr. Seuss
    I can't spell...get over it

    Slightly ENFJ, totally JoSunshine
    Extroverted (E) 52.5%........Introverted (I) 47.5%
    Intuitive (N) 65.63%..........Sensing (S) 34.38%
    Feeling (F) 55.56%............Thinking (T) 44.44%
    Judging (J) 51.43%............Perceiving (P) 48.57%

  9. #19
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Mess up #1 was dialing it back from SO to friends. I don't know about other people, but I take that very seriously and it does put you in a circle around that is emotionally further away. Past that I even tried to keep up communications with the ENFJ I was dating, who also said we should back it off, only to be stonewalled more and more till she moved away and then had the gall to call me cold to her friends.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #20
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    I wonder how the two even meet up since usually so different socially.

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