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  1. #1
    Senior Member Blossom500's Avatar
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    Default ENFP needs help with lovable but frustrating INTJ

    Agggg. For the most part my partner and I get on really well... except when there is something really big... hrmm, let me see, like the divorce he was supposed to get a few years ago! He has ONLY been separated for 5 years and his ESFP ex is engaged to someone else already... what is with that???

    Anyway, my F is really hurting and he just clams up when ever I even dare to express how I am starting to feel a little unwanted... ie. no real future. Are there any ENFPs out there with some experience or suggestions? In fact any suggestions from anyone would be good. Thanks and sorry for the bleeding heart ENFP post... but you know ENFPs when they are hurting they are pathetic.

  2. #2
    Cat Wench ReadingRainbows's Avatar
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    Tell him to get a divorce. And then go from there. Thats some serious big shit, to be seperated for that long with no paperwork.
    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    St. Stephen took rocks and St. Sebastian took arrows. You only have to take some jerks on an internet forum. Nut up.

  3. #3
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    Sounds like she's told him. It's at the "take it from there" stage.
    It makes sense to find out if he even wants a future with you.
    Rock the boat. It may well capsize, but then you can wash up on better shores instead of sitting in a boat going nowhere, getting frustrated and feeling unwanted. As it is he has no incentive to take this baby in to land.
    hoarding time and space
    A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.
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  4. #4
    Senior Member Blossom500's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rainbows View Post
    Thats some serious big shit, to be seperated for that long with no paperwork.
    Thanks need to know I am not being unreasonable in saying it is time to get on with it
    Quote Originally Posted by INA View Post
    Sounds like she's told him. It's at the "take it from there" stage.
    It makes sense to find out if he even wants a future with you.
    Rock the boat. It may well capsize, but then you can wash up on better shores instead of sitting in a boat going nowhere, getting frustrated and feeling unwanted. As it is he has no incentive to take this baby in to land.
    He says "he wants a future but can't see it"... um like ok that is helpful

    Going to rock the boat a little more I think... gulp. BLoody well wish it was not 1 am. Not a good look for an ENFP to be calling at this time of night... though at least I am not drunk lol

  5. #5
    Senior Member Blossom500's Avatar
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    INA my Mum is an INTP

  6. #6
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    He says "he wants a future but can't see it"
    That's a "no."
    Going to rock the boat a little more I think... gulp. BLoody well wish it was not 1 am. Not a good look for an ENFP to be calling at this time of night... though at least I am not drunk lol
    Why call at 1 a.m.??!!
    INA my Mum is an INTP
    And what does she think?
    hoarding time and space
    A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.
    — Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  7. #7
    Senior Member Blossom500's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INA View Post

    Why call at 1 a.m.??!!

    And what does she think?
    If you were and ENFP you would understand the 1 am joke. When I was much much younger I would do that kind of thing.

    Mum really really likes him (she has never liked any of my boyfriends before) but I know she does not like seeing me hurting. She is very INTP and tries very hard to do the right thing and not interfere. I love her heaps. She thinks i am being reasonable.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Blossom500's Avatar
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    I guess I should add that he keeps taking baby steps every few months but then he leaves stuff up to her and she does not do it. He could lodge the divorce himself but won't. So she is stringing it out too. Very complicated

  9. #9
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blossom500 View Post
    If you were and ENFP you would understand the 1 am joke. When I was much much younger I would do that kind of thing.
    I've known a, shall we say, "passionate" ENFP, who would call at 1 A.M., so I wasn't sure if you were joking.
    Quote Originally Posted by Blossom500 View Post
    Mum really really likes him (she has never liked any of my boyfriends before) but I know she does not like seeing me hurting. She is very INTP and tries very hard to do the right thing and not interfere. I love her heaps. She thinks i am being reasonable.
    I wouldn't meddle either, if someone hadn't asked. Have you specifically asked her? When you say she thinks you're being reasonable, in regard to what does she think so? Wanting an idea of where you're going? That's all too glaring.

    If this were a young relationship and he'd said "I don't know yet" I could understand your tolerance, but he said "he can't see it."

    I guess I should add that he keeps taking baby steps every few months but then he leaves stuff up to her and she does not do it. He could lodge the divorce himself but won't. So she is stringing it out too.
    Yet she's engaged to someone else. Hmm . . . I wonder how much of the story you're getting.
    Very complicated
    Doesn't need to be.
    hoarding time and space
    A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.
    — Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  10. #10
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blossom500 View Post
    If you were and ENFP you would understand the 1 am joke.
    That kind of jokes arent enfp an thing, its an Ne thing and im pretty sure most people who have even little understanding on Ne should get that.

    Imo u should get drunk and then make the call

    and no way you are being unreasonable, that intj is the one who is being REALLY unreasonable to you for not getting that divorce years ago.

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