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  1. #51
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    I have thought about this since my last answer (where I was probably half joking because I didn't feel like answering to serious questions that day).

    I have really high ideal picture of myself and I can never reach my ideal. So I basically never reach my ideal and always feel disappointed at myself.

    I also have a habit of putting some people in high pedestals and if they act differently I am really disappointed at them. It's like they put me down.

    The pedestals that I put my ideal self and some other people are so high that nobody can act such way that they would stay up there.

  2. #52
    Senior Member sciski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    How often do you get knocked off your NF "I'm a good person" OR "I'm a caring, compassionate, giving, benevolent etc. etc.," pedestal? How far is the fall to the ground?
    I'm never on that pedestal. Instead, it's where I want to be. So I see myself as climbing toward that pedestal, and frequently falling. I'm generally cushioned by my sense of humour and an odd type of lazy cynicism ("meh, I'm not really cut out for that type of perfection - better to be an honest jerk than a dishonest saint").

    How do you react when you're in a situation that forces you to confront aspects of yourself that contradict your idea(ls) of who you are and who you really are?
    I don't think I have too many illusions about myself... but I do sometimes project a false illusion of goodness to other people. People think I'm nicer than I am, so I tend to try to disabuse them of the notion - but not too much. I guess I don't mind being a dishonest saint all that much!

    So to answer your question, if a situation comes up where I can choose to consolidate or destroy the false illusion of goodness, I do something down the middle - something that will jolt people out of that perception while not going so far as to completely alienate them.

  3. #53
    Senior Member tovlo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade View Post
    I really have no idea how well I know myself. It seems an endless endeavor. There are some aspects that seem clear to me, but there is much much more that isn't. My self-understanding has increased with age and so have my doubts.
    That matches my own self assessment.

    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade View Post
    There is a core certainty in me though which might be different than your experience.
    Hard to say without experiencing your experience along side my own. I will say that I am capable of experiencing enough certainty on issues to move forward, but I wouldn't describe it as core. Rather it feels tentatively external. It's formed by external information explored and then analyzed to where I feel comfortable I've found the best sense of it's essence that I can discern. It's always open to new information shaping my perception of the topic in new ways.
    "We don't see things as they are,
    we see things as we are."
    ...Anais Nin

  4. #54
    Senior Member quietmusician's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    How often do you get knocked off your NF "I'm a good person" OR "I'm a caring, compassionate, giving, benevolent etc. etc.," pedestal? How far is the fall to the ground?

    How do you react when you're in a situation that forces you to confront aspects of yourself that contradict your idea(ls) of who you are and who you really are?

    I don't think I get knocked off my pedestal that often. I have my selfish moments where everything around is pointless and I remain with my head turned in the other direction. And the fall is the death of me. It depends on the severity of the situation whether or not I'll go into confrontational mode.

  5. #55
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    Sometimes I think my F can bring about a "badnes" in me..and probably because I can be really cold, when I'm really feeling mad, or angry. And of course, as with everyone, part of our conscious, we all have apart of us where selfishness rules- no one is a pure "caring, and loving person". It's the levels at which we practice these morals that defines a caring person aside from a non caring person.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

  6. #56
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    Hmmmm....My self concept is constantly developing. I'm not a good person at all. I strive to be. I have a sense of morality which is strong, and a way of viewing things which is strongly tinted by this morality. It's not about good or bad though.
    I constantly look within myself, and I would like to think I know myself well, but the truth of it is, I also surprise myself constantly. I wouldn't want to get bored with myself, eh?

    With regard to the OP, and how I react when I fail to live up to my ideal self?
    It depends on the transgression. I hardly beat myself up if it's some thing small, however if it's something on a bigger scale, I'm very good at self flagellation. No one could be a more harsh critic than myself (although my mother comes a close second).
    When I was younger, I used to be devastated and go into depressions for weeks at a time. I still do if it's pretty monumental but mostly I get on with it, identify what led me to that point, and reframe. So I still get pretty self reflective, but I also try to work out solutions, rather constantly berating myself for not achieving something, only an angel could achieve.
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #57
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    i think i view myself and others in terms of potential....it's more important to me that it's there...then the actual skills being realized...wow...that's screwed up kinda.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  8. #58
    Senior Member Wild horses's Avatar
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    NO way Erina cos I'm exactly the same!!
    ... couldn't drag me away

    eljko Ranatovic: argus
    eljko Ranatovic: do you want heir's?
    WildHorses: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    eljko Ranatovic: to carry your genealogical code??

  9. #59
    Senior Member bronte's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FineLine View Post

    INFPs in particular are known for exploring both good and evil within themselves. It doesn't trouble me to run up against selfishness, lack of compassion, and even a bit of lust for violence and mayhem within myself. I'm human, and I enjoy exploring the contradictions of the human experience.
    While I agree that I enjoy exploring these contradictions too - it does trouble me! I am more honest with myself now about my motivations for doing things for others - while i cant bear not to help when i see people struggling when often others will leave them to get on with it -I have huge stores of compassion and mpathy in these situations - i know that there are pay offs for me - and i know now that its not good to 'rescue' people - not good for me or for them.

    Interestingly i have recently been told the error of my ways very clearly by my sister who after nearly a bottle of whisky told me that although she loved me i was quite mad, took my family for granted, and was often bossy and bad tempered - all true and it stung

    I spent the next day thinking about it (and looking after her through her hangover!) and trying to deny it or justify it all to myself before accepting that it was all true.

    Th trouble is - and i dont know if other nfs feel the same - after a realisation such as this I then have problems seing much good in myself at all!
    I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
    Maya Angelou

  10. #60
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    potential sucks. leads to delusions of grandeur and frustration.

    My imaginary me is like the real one, only it can fly and read minds!!
    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

    “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
    Richard Feynman's last recorded words

    "Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart."
    Mencius (Meng-Tse), 4th century BCE

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