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  1. #1
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    Default INFP Bullshit and Romance

    I've often heard INFPs describing desiring a partner that gets past their "bullshit". I have an inkling as to what this is, but I'd like to hear it from you. What do you think? What is your "bullshit"? What is it about yourself that you'd like your partner to get around?

    Btw, this isn't a slight against y'all. This is a concept I've heard of from more than one of you though. I'm curious to see if there's anything to it.

    Thanks,
    --Fuzzy

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    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    My ISFJ kindred spirit friend calls me on my "bullshit" all the time.

    I'd say something like 'I have no feelings for that person.' She would say, "Yes, you do. Shut up."

    Me: *deep deep inside agrees, big mischievous smile reveals itself* Okay, you got me.

    If it's personal, I keep my 'Fi' pretty tightly locked up, but my XSFJ friends can tell. My ISTJ can't, don't know how to sympathize or anything so she accepts what I say about my 'emotions'.

    It's like this...I 'say' a lot of things but I don't always mean them. Sometimes I'd say something to poke at the waters, to poke at you, but I don't mean it. The other person will impress me greatly if they know me enough that they can sort through all the 'information' that I am teasing them with.

    I do this thing ... where the other person would say something really obvious and I don't respond (could be because I have no response or it's uninteresting) so they continue to explain it. And once they do that, I'd pretend I don't get the idea/word/concept so I will give them this confused, furrowed brows look...and hahahaha...they will go on and on for fifteen minutes trying to explain this very simple idea/word/concept to me. I find it funny, no idea why. It works every time. I don't think anyone gets this joke; it's this weird thing of mine. Sometimes I just like giving people a confused look even though I understand them perfectly and what they are saying is extremely simple. I just want to see what they would say, I think. I sort of push them into a sort of rant and they get confused, like, why isn't she getting this? what am I doing wrong?

    I only do that to close friends.

    I like tirade sometimes. I am also hugely sarcastic so if you can't tell, yikes... I have met sarcastic people who I can't tell are being sarcastic so it's a sort of natural communication thing. Some people gets it immediately, some can't see it from a mile away.

    I like to toss out things and see what kind of reactions I get back from people I am very close to, to see what I can fish out of them and out of myself. I like to mentally play, you see.

  3. #3
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    I was taught that romance is a cliché.
    I was taught to act like a "man". And
    I was raised by women.

    I guess that is the outcome of what some
    would like to call a "hopeless romantic,"
    because as much as I want to be
    romantic, to give it my all; My past
    experiences has taught me not to,
    because it is folly.

    In my personal opinion, love would be much
    simpler without all the roadblocks.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzcrossed View Post
    I've often heard INFPs describing desiring a partner that gets past their "bullshit". I have an inkling as to what this is, but I'd like to hear it from you. What do you think? What is your "bullshit"? What is it about yourself that you'd like your partner to get around?

    Btw, this isn't a slight against y'all. This is a concept I've heard of from more than one of you though. I'm curious to see if there's anything to it.

    Thanks,
    --Fuzzy
    I've never heard of this before. Initially, I don't even know what it might be referring to, but of course my Ne is going into overdrive now to come up with possible meanings/interpretations, etc.

    Anyways, I can't relate and have never heard of this before.

  5. #5
    man-made neptunesnet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scott N Denver View Post
    I've never heard of this before. Initially, I don't even know what it might be referring to, but of course my Ne is going into overdrive now to come up with possible meanings/interpretations, etc.

    Anyways, I can't relate and have never heard of this before.
    This.

    In fact, this "bullsh!t" seems contrary to the very nature of Fi. I just don't understand being insincere for the sake of being insincere, without any motive other than deception.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rebe View Post
    It's like this...I 'say' a lot of things but I don't always mean them. Sometimes I'd say something to poke at the waters, to poke at you, but I don't mean it. The other person will impress me greatly if they know me enough that they can sort through all the 'information' that I am teasing them with.

    I do this thing ... where the other person would say something really obvious and I don't respond (could be because I have no response or it's uninteresting) so they continue to explain it. And once they do that, I'd pretend I don't get the idea/word/concept so I will give them this confused, furrowed brows look...and hahahaha...they will go on and on for fifteen minutes trying to explain this very simple idea/word/concept to me. I find it funny, no idea why. It works every time. I don't think anyone gets this joke; it's this weird thing of mine. Sometimes I just like giving people a confused look even though I understand them perfectly and what they are saying is extremely simple. I just want to see what they would say, I think. I sort of push them into a sort of rant and they get confused, like, why isn't she getting this? what am I doing wrong?

    I only do that to close friends.

    I like tirade sometimes. I am also hugely sarcastic so if you can't tell, yikes... I have met sarcastic people who I can't tell are being sarcastic so it's a sort of natural communication thing. Some people gets it immediately, some can't see it from a mile away.

    I like to toss out things and see what kind of reactions I get back from people I am very close to, to see what I can fish out of them and out of myself. I like to mentally play, you see.
    Gotta be honest. This sounds a little like tert/inf Fe. Or, like, mischievous Ti.

    And I don't think he was referring to sense of humor, Rebe, as I, to give an example, have the ability to be heinously sarcastic and wordplayful (Ne), but I take it & dish it in doses and don't ever say anything I don't mean (at least not intentionally). I've never heard of what Fuzz is talking about, particularly in regards to INFPs.

  6. #6
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    Personally, and im not super clear on this, i find that INFPs tend to throw up these interesting Ne detours. They like to get you so far off of their trail, without letting on, that you forget there may have been a trail to begin with. This can be ideal in a lot of cases, but it can be their default and they will do so to people who they potentially care for. This may mean that they distract people who they actually want to be focused in on them and see the trail, despite the distractions.

    I chalk my ability to see through the BS-O-Meter up as a large part of why myself and the significant other get on so well
    Quote Originally Posted by angell_m View Post
    I was taught that romance is a cliché.
    I was taught to act like a "man". And
    I was raised by women.

    I guess that is the outcome of what some
    would like to call a "hopeless romantic,"
    because as much as I want to be
    romantic, to give it my all; My past
    experiences has taught me not to,
    because it is folly.

    In my personal opinion, love would be much
    simpler without all the roadblocks.
    Types of the parental/women folks?
    Simpler, but still as worth it without?
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


    .:: DWTWD ::.

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    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

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  7. #7
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Only "bullshit" I can think of is that who ever wants me needs to accept that I'm not going go into a tirade or lose my grip every time something bothers me. They need to accept that I like to pursue my interests and need SOME time to do them. They need to accept responsibility for following me some place rather than blaming me for "making them go there" when they're the one who decided they need to come along. Past that I try to eliminate bullshit where I can, which recently has left me dropping potentials recently.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

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  8. #8
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Dating an INFP for awhile, I sort of realized he was a hapless romantic. Part of me loved it, part of me got so annoyed -- things can get sort of dramatic, and for sounding so rational, he would tend to see what he wanted to see and not be realistic about outcomes, which bit us in the butt badly later.

    He also could become seriously wound up over value judgements (social or political commentary)... even if he knew they weren't rational in nature. he'd just come out with these harsh all-or-nothing statements.

    Sometimes it annoyed me, sometimes I found it a bit endearing. It depended on my mood, I guess.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  9. #9
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    He also could become seriously wound up over value judgements (social or political commentary)... even if he knew they weren't rational in nature. he'd just come out with these harsh all-or-nothing statements.
    Oh my. I can totally relate. I finally learned to stop taking them so literally and think about them as a reflection of his current mood.

  10. #10
    Cat Wench ReadingRainbows's Avatar
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    My best friends are ISFP and INFP, I call them on their bullshit, and they call me on mine

    I love INFP strength. And yes I think you guys are strong
    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    St. Stephen took rocks and St. Sebastian took arrows. You only have to take some jerks on an internet forum. Nut up.

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