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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    This is a pretty good shortlist of my flaws also. I'm not arrogant so much as suffering from occasional bouts of elitism. The tirades aren't trotted out for just anyone either; consider yourself privileged to hear one.
    Right. I mean, if you're close with me, you'll hear it, but I'm more softspoken around people I don't know well.

    I also agree with your post, OrangeAppled, about the romanticism. I consider myself a romantic, and I feel love and affection very, very deeply...I'm just not very good at expressing it. I always get so awkward and shy and act like I don't care, when really I want to plant kisses all over the guys face and tell them how much they really do mean to me. *sigh* I hate being an introvert sometimes.

    Usually, when I want to express my feelings of love I do it by writing a poem or a love story or something like that. It sounds corny, but that's how I roll.

  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    Examples of my INFP friend's bullshit.

    INFP: I'm not really into this guy that much, I'm just bored and he's fun sometimes so I don't care if he hasn't called me in a couple days.

    Me: No, you care. Maybe you don't want something serious from him, but it bothers you that this guy clearly doesn't care about your feelings and is using you too.

    INFP #2: I don't have much experience doing counseling or research so I'm not sure which to pursue. If I'm not sure which to pursue then it doesn't make sense to go after either at the moment. I'll see how I feel about it after a bit more life experience.

    Me: You're making excuses. You're afraid of making the wrong decision so you don't make any at all. Time is wasting away and instead of seriously contemplating either you sit back and think life will just hand you the answers.

    INFP #3: I'm glad to have some time off work. Instead of looking for work right away I'm going to do some soul searching and figure out what I want in life.

    Me: Okay well make sure you actually do that instead of watching the cooking channel all day long.

    *1 month later*

    Me: So what are the results of your soul searching?

    INFP#3: They were inconclusive.

    Me:

    INFP#4: I'm not going to date that guy right now because I have other things to concentrate on right now.

    Me: Not really. If you really wanted to date him you just would.

    Yeah, that's pretty much what we mean by our bullshit. INTJs are so far the only ones who have called me out on it. I think Ni helps in the bullshit detecting.
    So, all of it is actually about being indecisive? Well, that's bad news for me, since I have not found a way to motivate myself enough to really pursue anything. In fact, I am pretty convinced that if you try to grab anything with too much force it will break down. It seems like the indecisiveness is almost a philosophy for me.

  3. #53
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    I guess someone calling me on my bullshit would be... if someone were to look through my goofy weird nature and see that I feel things deeply and actually like discussing relationships and learning about people, etc. The goofiness is definitely part of me too, but there is more. I guess that is what I want the other person to see.

    I like being very goofy or silly and to crack crazy jokes with friends to sort of entertain them and make them feel happy, comfortable, and safe for a moment if I can, but I think it can also be a defense mechanism in situations where I don't know the other person because I'm so afraid of not being liked, of being exposed and being rejected. If all else fails (because I'm bad at small talk), I can at least poke fun at myself or try to poke fun at the situation (assuming it calls for that, not a serious situation) and maybe someone will laugh, and we can connect there for a moment.

    However, when the night is over and I climb into my car and just sit there for a moment staring out into the darkness of the street, my mind instantly longs for that person who would sit beside me and just let me be myself with them, even if that means sitting in silence together for awhile. I want someone who will make me feel as though I don't have to perform anymore because I'm with them... (I think this probably especially applies to INFP 4w3's due to the 3 wing's nature, but 4w5's might also feel the same). I don't have to joke around, poke fun at myself anymore, redirect the conversation all over the place to safer topics; I can just be myself.

    I agree with the person who said they drop Fi hints along the way. If I start to feel safe with a person, I will slowly tell them little things about myself and see how they take it. I need to test the waters to make sure they're safe before I dive head first.
    4w3 sx/sp? INFP, INFp

  4. #54
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    ^ I think that's a large part of it for me too, EmeraldCanopy, very nicely put. Thanks for pointing out my motives better than I can, haha.

    I am extremely goofy and silly when I am around people. But when I am by myself, I get 'intense' and I analyze everything. I get very solemn, not in a depressive way, but I start to see things through the eyes of someone who is detached from the world, who sees everything as a puzzle, not just living a life but understanding every aspect of it, seeing all the patterns, noticing all the flaws. I think there's a great contrast between my light and my dark side. It (would) take me a long, long time to let someone into the darker, weightier thoughts in my mind. But I think it depends greatly on the person. If they are not interested, I won't tell them even if we have been friends for ten years. If they are, I could start to express myself in a month. To put it simply, when left alone, I am similar to INTJs and when with people, I become a stereotypical ENFP. And ideally, I would need someone who can draw the inner thoughts out of me and not just see the chirpy, goofy, spacey sarcastic person. That wasn't the 'bullshit' I thought of when I responded to this thread earlier. This is a more serious 'problem' or 'truth' than what I thought the OP is referring to. In fact, I don't think that what we do with the silly image is 'bullshit' but just a facade of who we are. We don't at all intentionally mislead people, we are that goofy, silly person as much as we are the darker, brainy type.

  5. #55
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    I can relate very much to what TheEmeraldCanopy says. It makes me wonder if I'm a 4W3. Some people think of me as a wild and crazy (in a good way) jokster. I love to take a humorous twist on the bizarre and routine in life, though I'm not usually sardonic or cynical. I've known for some time that this is a kind of cover up for me. I know that I'm doing it to make others feel at ease and it makes conversations lighter, more energized, and sometimes more interesting, as a lighter touch leads to better feeling all around. When people feel this way about me, I realize that I'm keeping the more serious, intense, romantic, idealistic me under wraps. I don't mind that others aren't seeing all of me, or the me that I feel is the real me. I like to remain hidden until I meet someone with whom I know I can share all of me. I value highly those rare people whom I can be completely myself without the kidding around. Or those who know the kidding around is only a part of me. I always try to adapt myself to others, on the outside, all the time knowing that it's an adaptation. I like disappearing. It makes others appear, and I like to know what others have to say or how they feel.

    I do, as a matter of routine, the opposite of what I'm really feeling because a feeling is too intense. I know if must be confusing to some. It's a way of dealing with a situation on the surface until you can resolve how you feel about something and how you want to act. I feel I wear my heart on my sleeve as it is. I agree that those who really see you will understand and be patient.

  6. #56
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    i think they like having someone who anchors them into reality
    Weathergirl: District 38 is sunny. Slight rock showers this morning. Chance of rock showers into the afternoon—20 percent. District 39 is cloudy. Chance of rock showers this afternoon—10 percent.
    Edward: Bebop here here! Alright woo hoo!
    Weathergirl: Chance of rock showers today upgraded to 90 percent.
    Edward: Really.

  7. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    Examples of my INFP friend's bullshit.

    INFP: I'm not really into this guy that much, I'm just bored and he's fun sometimes so I don't care if he hasn't called me in a couple days.

    Me: No, you care. Maybe you don't want something serious from him, but it bothers you that this guy clearly doesn't care about your feelings and is using you too.

    INFP #2: I don't have much experience doing counseling or research so I'm not sure which to pursue. If I'm not sure which to pursue then it doesn't make sense to go after either at the moment. I'll see how I feel about it after a bit more life experience.

    Me: You're making excuses. You're afraid of making the wrong decision so you don't make any at all. Time is wasting away and instead of seriously contemplating either you sit back and think life will just hand you the answers.

    INFP #3: I'm glad to have some time off work. Instead of looking for work right away I'm going to do some soul searching and figure out what I want in life.

    Me: Okay well make sure you actually do that instead of watching the cooking channel all day long.

    *1 month later*

    Me: So what are the results of your soul searching?

    INFP#3: They were inconclusive.

    Me:

    INFP#4: I'm not going to date that guy right now because I have other things to concentrate on right now.

    Me: Not really. If you really wanted to date him you just would.

    Yeah, that's pretty much what we mean by our bullshit. INTJs are so far the only ones who have called me out on it. I think Ni helps in the bullshit detecting.
    I'm wired right now, so this may not make much sense at all.

    In our teenage years we used to chase our dreams, but with years of continuous disappointment we became hesitant. Only one very personal admiration may ever give us the indomitable spirit needed to chase our dreams again.

  8. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by angell_m View Post
    I was taught that romance is a cliché.
    I was taught to act like a "man". And
    I was raised by women.

    I guess that is the outcome of what some
    would like to call a "hopeless romantic,"
    because as much as I want to be
    romantic, to give it my all; My past
    experiences has taught me not to,
    because it is folly.

    In my personal opinion, love would be much
    simpler without all the roadblocks.
    if gold was common and easily obtainable, would it be of value?

  9. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by yakimadude View Post
    if gold was common and easily obtainable, would it be of value?
    Pardon my negativity, but most people just wrap their shit up in foil, paint and label it gold.

  10. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    Examples of my INFP friend's bullshit.

    INFP: I'm not really into this guy that much, I'm just bored and he's fun sometimes so I don't care if he hasn't called me in a couple days.

    Me: No, you care. Maybe you don't want something serious from him, but it bothers you that this guy clearly doesn't care about your feelings and is using you too.

    INFP #2: I don't have much experience doing counseling or research so I'm not sure which to pursue. If I'm not sure which to pursue then it doesn't make sense to go after either at the moment. I'll see how I feel about it after a bit more life experience.

    Me: You're making excuses. You're afraid of making the wrong decision so you don't make any at all. Time is wasting away and instead of seriously contemplating either you sit back and think life will just hand you the answers.

    INFP #3: I'm glad to have some time off work. Instead of looking for work right away I'm going to do some soul searching and figure out what I want in life.

    Me: Okay well make sure you actually do that instead of watching the cooking channel all day long.

    *1 month later*

    Me: So what are the results of your soul searching?

    INFP#3: They were inconclusive.

    Me:

    INFP#4: I'm not going to date that guy right now because I have other things to concentrate on right now.

    Me: Not really. If you really wanted to date him you just would.

    Yeah, that's pretty much what we mean by our bullshit. INTJs are so far the only ones who have called me out on it. I think Ni helps in the bullshit detecting.
    this is EXACTLY what I was going through with another INFP (relationship wise). Especially #2 and #3. Really frustrating.

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