User Tag List

First 3456 Last

Results 41 to 50 of 52

  1. #41
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    iSFj
    Enneagram
    2 sx/so
    Posts
    9,666

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lethe View Post
    Hmmm, how does she handle this sort of situation herself? From her perspective, what gets her to immediately stop while not being fully rejected? [Something like, "you have been contacting me very often lately, especially during my busiest hours and at inconvenient times. It makes it difficult for me to concentrate on what I'm doing, and I feel resentful from time-to-time. This may not be intentional, but is there something wrong, or an important topic you'd like discuss?"]

    Certain people don't realize how their behavior is impacting others until someone openly mentions it (without subtlety). They might thank-you for bringing that up to them.
    This sounds good to me. I can be clingy and sensitive and I would be okay hearing this.

  2. #42
    Oberon
    Guest

    Default

    If you go the farting route, you can turn the tables on her by following her around. That's a good option if you're looking for a bit of revenge.

  3. #43
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    468 sx/sp
    Socionics
    EII None
    Posts
    4,383

    Default

    I'll go visit her desk and leave her something to remember me by.

    It's really reeeely hard to be as directive as the sane methods you ladies are suggesting. I am trying to process this probably good advice. It goes against my grain (but then, my way is not working, so, yeah).

  4. #44
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    4,226

    Default

    Tilty,

    Try wearing headphones while you work to emphasize that stopping to chat is somewhat disruptive as you have to remove the headphones.

    Where I work we made laminated sheets of paper that say "Sorry, please do not disturb as I am working on a very important project right now. Please contact me via email if you have any questions. Thanks!" I have also seen little office cubes that say similar things.

    When she stops by say "Oh hey Jane, I'd love to talk but am really busy right now. Would you like to go to lunch tomorrow/later this week?" Only works if you actually like her or seek to help her-but would allow her to feel like you were listening without being mean. During lunch, blame your boss-say "My boss is actually getting a bit more strict and doesnt like to see people at my desk talking." or "My boss has been a bit harder lately on us regarding productivity. If I dont seem welcoming it is because I am trying to be seen in the office as being really productive, so please dont be offended if I dont chat much." or "I feel really uncomfortable talking to people at my desk as I feel as though it makes me look like a slacker"

    Just ignore the emails. If she asks, say you dont have enough time to answer normal emails, let alone fun emails and then laugh.

    Mention you have this really interesting pastime called MBTI, and tell how about the diffs between introverts and extroverts. Even better send her a link that talks about how extroverts seek out others as a way to recharge and gain energy while introverts tend to seek solitude. Point out the conflicts that can arise.

    Find an Ne or Se dom who can convey some of the things mentioned in this thread that might be bothering you/them but will be more comfortable conveying the message.

    To be honest before I started hating my job and moping in my cube utterly depressed, i used to be an office hopper. I would make "rounds" everyday and check in and pester all my beloveds. It made me really happy to see them all. But I was quite good at staying for less than three minutes and picking up on the subtle "I am too busy to talk now" body language.

    My ENTP modified her laminated sign to say "Sorry I am very busy working on a project. Orobas please contact Orobas if you have any questions". The engineers loved this.

  5. #45
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    468 sx/sp
    Socionics
    EII None
    Posts
    4,383

    Default

    She claims to be an INFJ, just one toe over the I/E line. Whereas I'm all I. We have talked about that a little. She was familiar enough with MBTI to at least know her type. I introduced her to enneagram.

    Lots of good stuff in there, Orobas! I will further ponder (with my earphones in).

    I just realized something I've done wrong in the past, too. When she asks me how my day is, sometimes I'm honest and indicate dissatisfaction. That makes her zoom in and hover. I need to get with the "Fine!" and make it convincing.

    Ok, I'm feeling more on track with this now.

  6. #46
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    Maybe every time she comes to ask you how you are, you can scream at the top of your lungs, throw all your papers up in the air, and pull the fire alarm.

    She'll go away, I promise.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  7. #47
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    468 sx/sp
    Socionics
    EII None
    Posts
    4,383

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Maybe every time she comes to ask you how you are, you can scream at the top of your lungs, throw all your papers up in the air, and pull the fire alarm.

    She'll go away, I promise.
    I like this. It's got flair.

  8. #48
    Senior Member Pixelholic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    8w7
    Posts
    571

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Maybe every time she comes to ask you how you are, you can scream at the top of your lungs, throw all your papers up in the air, and pull the fire alarm.

    She'll go away, I promise.
    I second this option.
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.” -Nietzsche

  9. #49
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    468 sx/sp
    Socionics
    EII None
    Posts
    4,383

    Default

    Just to follow up and close this thread -- she did not contact me at all over the weekend or yesterday or this morning, so I had some time to get relaxed, so I emailed to ask her to lunch this morning, and we had a great time. I told her I was sorry I push away when I'm stressed, and she said it's ok and she understands, and then we caught up on each others' news. So all is lovey-dovey again and I have stood down re whacking her with a baseball bat/pitching her down the stairs/acting alarming/letting out copious gas in her vicinity.

    Thank you, you clever and witty people, for all the suggestions. I have them in a file for future reference.

  10. #50
    Glycerine
    Guest

    Default

    I think I might have a tendency to be clingy and try to nip it in the bud by avoiding the person like the plague. However, they always seem to acknowledge me when I really don't want them to... I seem to have some bonding/attachment issues (because of my past) If you are "too nice", it really encourages it.

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 47
    Last Post: 06-15-2016, 04:55 AM
  2. lyrics that won't leave me alone.
    By Jon in forum Arts & Entertainment
    Replies: 82
    Last Post: 12-10-2008, 09:54 PM
  3. Weird Feeling when People "leave" you
    By GargoylesLegacy in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 11-08-2008, 06:31 PM
  4. [SP] How do you react when someone pisses you off?
    By Dali in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 59
    Last Post: 10-31-2008, 01:37 PM
  5. lyrics that won't leave me alone.
    By Jon in forum Arts & Entertainment
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 10-06-2008, 10:56 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO