I also resent this idea that an NF needs a T to "think" for them (and when some NFs say this themselves, I cringe). I think just fine for myself & am in control of my own emotions, thanks! .
I can relate. I find it a bit offensive when people talk as if any given holy T will come down from the mountain dispensing rationality to starved Feelers. I also get incensed by Fs who assume that as Fs they have a better handle on people and feelings than all Ts, especially when they assert this while displaying the most selfish/cruel but emotion-driven behavior.
hoarding time and space
A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.
— Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"How dreadful!" cried Lord Henry. "I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect." ~ Oscar Wilde - The picture of Dorian Gray
I must confess, i have met many an interesting NT. I do find them fascinating and admire their discipline with mind and calm, cool collected thought. I absolutely strive for a mixture of the two elements of both emotional intelligence as well cognitive discipline. There was something that did astound me, and that was not all NT's happen being rational. Rather they can be overrun by emotion and do not possess the mental discipline i usually attribute to them. I have a thought that what intrigues me with the NT is we are, or happen being both intuitives. That is the bonding solution. Oh by the way a call to arms for the NF's, don't you want to see amore perfect envirionment and the world we live on. I happen having a "change" thread which has not received a response. I am confounded, in addition mortified that there is not a compassionate outpouring of ideas to make this a better planet.
My most exciting and passionate romantic relationships have been with other NFs. The NT ones feel a bit more straightforward, but they do have a stability to them. My "F" is big; I don't know if I could handle anotherone.
I'm currently half of an INTJ-INFJ pair, and it works nicely, though sometimes I feel like I'm very "high maintenance" or I just don't really see what I bring to the table.
I've heard/read a number of NF women, usually NFP's, talk about how, umm, not level-headed??? they are, and how they need a strong T to help show them ?be rational? and less ?emotionally-all-over-the-place?.
Yes, I think I fall into this bucket, unfortunately. But I don't need to be shown how to be rational; if there were a way for me to do that, you wouldn't see that ginormous "F" in my type label. I need someone to not be flying off the handle at the same time as me.
Offhand: I seem to be surrounded by INFJs and INTJs in my life! Maybe these are the only people I can feel close to. The other types we do can do things that seem close (hang out, call each other, share a lot) but it just doesn't feel the same.
@lightsun - I like the concept of your thread, but got overwhelmed at how much there was to read through!
I think it depends on whether your dominant function is judging or perceiving. An INFP or ENFJ should be with a fellow NF. However, an ENFP or INFJ I think will do better with an NT. This is what many of the relationship recommendations you see online seem to suggest, too.
There are definitely examples of abrasive kinda clueless NTs. There are NTs I am friends with but couldn't imagine dating because I don't really "get" them. Meaning I can't catch their vibe so in a romantic relationship I would just be wondering what is going on. So much of a successful and happy relationship is about nonverbal and how the person makes you feel. I think id just be like hmmmmmmm...with some people. I also couldn't be with a loudmouth NFP or really any type that causes friction but either isn't aware or doesn't care, I think that is the connecting thread with NFs or NTs that people complain about.
This is why I prefer working with Intjs I find that they are refreshingly non emo as opposed to abrasive. I don't mind a lack of warmth or smiley faces but I can bristle at the addition of condecension or undeserved arrogance.
Also nts can be very sweet even warm and sociable. I could see a relationship with one working well I think wonkas description of fe/fe and fi/fi is very true. Of course, I'm quite fond of fe in those I date am friends with as well I think its more they would have problems with me and interpret my behavior as not caring as much as I should.
I also cringe when I hear nf women saying they need the rationality or support of an nt male. That's a really foreign thought to me as I grew up always very confident in my impressive intelligence LOLOL. Srsly though I don't think any of my nf female friends think like this either and would prolly be insulted if you insinuated that. I've said this before but if you need support for your emotional nature another feeler can be great.
I think my experience is different bc I grew up in a very cold nt environment and I had to fend for myself emotionally. Not sure why anyone would seek that out for "comfort" Krajee.
“If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde