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  1. #171
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    See, I understand all of that, but ya know what? Doing the job perfectly just *isn't* that important *all the time*.

    The plate thing is a nice way of illustrating your point, but it's not the right example for what I was saying. No one is going to ask you 'Look at the nice clean plate you have in front of you, isn't it grand?' And then beam with pride. To then have you turn around the plate and have it still sticky with all kinds of gunk. For that matter, if hypothetically they're asking you to indeed admire the plate and there's a little bit left on the other side of it, try and ignore that. It's something that's not important (as it's not on the hygienic part of the plate, where the food will be), and it will just ruin the mood. Admire the part they meant for you to see. Judge that part. Forget the little detail that just isn't up to your precious standard

    The second reason one could ask for your opinion is when they're in the process of doing something, and asking you to see if the work they've done up to this point is up to standard. At that point, look at the part that's been done and realize what part of the process they're in. If it's still a draft, leave some leeway for polishing, imagine where it'll go, or for that matter, ask. Then you can actually give insightful and constructive feedback on how you can build on what they've done. That's why they're asking, afterall.

    The third reason one could ask, is when the project indeed is done, but they're unsure of the result. At that time, and only at that time, are you to use your full standard on *all* of it. And even at that point, realize the effort they've put in. Genuinly comment on the effort, regardless of the result. That way, your comments will, once again, be constructive. If you don't, you can be right all you want about it not being up to standard, but the comment will be in vain as it is unlikely to be well-received and therefore used in the way you intended it.

    If not asked for an opinion, plz, plz, plz *think* before you blurt shit out. If you must say something, form it as a question. Ask and be genuine in your curiosity as to why something *seems* to be out of place.

    I love your efficiency and bluntness, especially in a time of crisis, when there's no time for niceties, and things indeed need to be done *now*. When it actually matters. I don't care if you curse, shout or call me incompetent at such a time, as long as you pull it off and I will follow your every lead at that point.

    However, I still wanna throw a skillet at your head though when you do it at times when social relationships are taking priority and the thing you're commenting on just aint that big a deal.

    I guess it's just about switching perspectives and recognizing which one suits the situation best

    For that matter...not meeting a standard can be quite entertaining and fun. It can be quirky, and it can lead to new unexpected discoveries, or just a whole bunch of giggles. Perfection becomes boring and stale, after a while. In other words: Lighten up, sugar

    Also, never bet on what I would compliment on. I give genuine compliments about the oddest things as I truly appreciate the weirdest stuff

    That is all.
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  2. #172
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    One thing I like about NTs - the promise that if you present your argument logically, you can actually convince them of something.

    That and they have no problem dismantling human nature and acknowledge the selfishness in the altruism and the altruism in the selfishness. Nor the cruelty in the subconscious reasons for a good action. There is a fairness in a certain detachment which I appreciate immensely.

    Which doesn't prevent an NT from reading this and think I'm full of shit of course :P

  3. #173
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    ^^ Yes. I do tend to look at jobs as either "done" or "not done". I have no patience for 90% solutions, e.g. collecting the trash from around the house and putting it by the garage door, but not into the actual trashcan. To me, for a few more seconds' effort, you can open the door, put it in the can, and be completely done and not have to come back to it again later.

  4. #174
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    True, but it could also be handy to just stash things for a sec as you rush off to do something else that demands your attention that *instant*. And, as it is human to sometimes forget stuff, the trash could stand there for a little longer till it catches your eye again and you actually have the time for it. To then have someone comment on the fact that it's standing there and it shouldn't be is just...yeah. I already know that. That information is useless to me. To me, your comment at that time makes me just keep the trash there another week, just to piss you off. Just a friendly warning

    The point is...I *know* that that detail still needs tending to. No, I do not need you pointing it out to me. Just tell me what you think about the entire room I just cleared to please you, and tried to rid of all the junk that was collected there

    And you know what would be even more awesome? You *not* commenting on it, appreciating the effort I put in and then without saying anything, taking care of that trash yourself. That's just...superb. It shows that you appreciate the effort I put in, and are willing to help me out carry it out to perfection. Win-win.
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  5. #175
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Satine View Post
    And you know what would be even more awesome? You *not* commenting on it, appreciating the effort I put in and then without saying anything, taking care of that trash yourself. That's just...superb. It shows that you appreciate the effort I put in, and are willing to help me out carry it out to perfection. Win-win.
    This is often what I do. As I see it, there are 3 options: (1) wait for my SO to remember to finish the job; (2) tell my SO, and waste time and energy on the inevitable argument; and (3) do it myself. Since (1) and (2) are generally unacceptable, my choice is clear. I only speak up now if there are unusually many things like this in a short time.

  6. #176
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    This is often what I do. As I see it, there are 3 options: (1) wait for my SO to remember to finish the job; (2) tell my SO, and waste time and energy on the inevitable argument; and (3) do it myself. Since (1) and (2) are generally unacceptable, my choice is clear. I only speak up now if there are unusually many things like this in a short time.


    I like you
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  7. #177
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Satine View Post
    I love your efficiency and bluntness, especially in a time of crisis, when there's no time for niceties, and things indeed need to be done *now*. When it actually matters. I don't care if you curse, shout or call me incompetent at such a time, as long as you pull it off and I will follow your every lead at that point.

    However, I still wanna throw a skillet at your head though when you do it at times when social relationships are taking priority and the thing you're commenting on just aint that big a deal.

    I guess it's just about switching perspectives and recognizing which one suits the situation best.
    Somehow I missed this part, but it is so accurate. I think part of my problem is that I seem to operate in this mode most of the time; it is very hard to get me out of it. I'm rarely in situations where social relationships are a priority. Or maybe I am, and just don't realize it. Aarrrrgghh.

  8. #178
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    Somehow I missed this part, but it is so accurate. I think part of my problem is that I seem to operate in this mode most of the time; it is very hard to get me out of it. I'm rarely in situations where social relationships are a priority. Or maybe I am, and just don't realize it. Aarrrrgghh.
    lol, just ask an FJ, social relationships are always a priority!

    i get NTJs better than NTPs. Te makes sense. it's the way i go about things when i have to be productive. and yeah i think NTJs really need to chill out more sometimes, but that's okay, i really need to buckle down more sometimes.

    for whatever reason INTPs i think are very smart but also generally frustrate me, while ISTPs i get along with much more easily. dunno why.

  9. #179
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    Somehow I missed this part, but it is so accurate. I think part of my problem is that I seem to operate in this mode most of the time; it is very hard to get me out of it. I'm rarely in situations where social relationships are a priority. Or maybe I am, and just don't realize it. Aarrrrgghh.
    Hehe. At any time, it's a simple question as to whether or not the thing you're getting pissy about is worth more than the relationship with the person you're putting pressure on at that particular time. A simple equation. Surely your smart INTJ brain would know how to calculate that
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  10. #180
    Member Torai's Avatar
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    NTP's are really awesome when they develop Extroverted Feeling. That's all I have to say.

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