User Tag List

First 71516171819 Last

Results 161 to 170 of 193

  1. #161
    Senior Member Vamp's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    589

    Default

    It depends on the maturity of both partners. Those who feel the need to display every single negative NT/NF trait in spades at once just to irk others are not mature.
    George Bernard Shaw in cartoon form.

  2. #162
    Senior Member tkae.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Socionics
    IEI
    Posts
    762

    Default

    It depends.

    I've met some INTJs that I could have hung out with for hours and had the time of my life!

    I've met some INTJs that made me cry.

    I don't think I've met any INTPs that ever bothered me.

    But I've met ENTJs that were awesome, and some that made me feel like shit.

    With ENTJs, it depends on how much E and J they have. With INTJs, it depends on how much TJ they have. ENTPs... idk. I've never met any I didn't like, but I've never met any I liked either.

    Like someone said, it depends on their maturity and their experience with NFs. I've learned not to have opinions until I hear them talk though. Some mean well, but just don't know how to act around NFs. Some are great. But then others hate NFs and actively antagonize them.

    You just gotta find the right ones

  3. #163
    ReflecTcelfeR
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by tkae. View Post
    You just gotta find the right ones
    All of them? Ha.

  4. #164
    i love skylights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 so/sx
    Socionics
    EII Ne
    Posts
    7,835

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Spartacuss View Post
    Fair enough. A main source of friction with two ENFPs I know was that they'd jump to generalizations on limited, very subjective information and get mad when called on it. I chalked it up to immaturity.
    haha, it's funny you mentioned this, because this is admittedly true for me and a source of conflict between me and the two INTPs i live with. but it's really a two-ways street, because INTPs can ignore subjective interpretations sometimes too, and miss the real impacts they have.

    for example, recently my dad (INTP) came home frustrated from work, and immediately pointed out the one dirty utensil in the kitchen i'd cleaned that day. as i learned later, he was actually just curious why it was out and it caught his attention, but i picked up on his huge emotional current of frustration and thought it was being directed at me (which it was, though not intentionally) and was pissed off that he fixated on the one dirty item in the kitchen i had worked hard to clean. it was a mistake on both our parts, really. he was ignoring the emotion he was communicating and i was overemphasizing the emotion he was communicating.

    i actually get along very well with some NTs... INTJs especially. from easiest-hardest relationships it usually goes: INTJ, ENTP, INTP, ENTJ. ENTJs usually come off very strong to me!

  5. #165
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    Enfp
    Enneagram
    497 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEE Fi
    Posts
    14,656

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    haha, it's funny you mentioned this, because this is admittedly true for me and a source of conflict between me and the two INTPs i live with. but it's really a two-ways street, because INTPs can ignore subjective interpretations sometimes too, and miss the real impacts they have.

    for example, recently my dad (INTP) came home frustrated from work, and immediately pointed out the one dirty utensil in the kitchen i'd cleaned that day. as i learned later, he was actually just curious why it was out and it caught his attention, but i picked up on his huge emotional current of frustration and thought it was being directed at me (which it was, though not intentionally) and was pissed off that he fixated on the one dirty item in the kitchen i had worked hard to clean. it was a mistake on both our parts, really. he was ignoring the emotion he was communicating and i was overemphasizing the emotion he was communicating.

    i actually get along very well with some NTs... INTJs especially. from easiest-hardest relationships it usually goes: INTJ, ENTP, INTP, ENTJ. ENTJs usually come off very strong to me!
    I had this convo yesterday with my INTJ. I *know* after this long that when he does that, it's out of curiosity coz the rest 'makes sense' to him (aka it's clean, or whatever and fits together, that one object just stands out to him). I know that this is how he works, logically. But goddamn, I'm not able to entirely disable my emotional reaction when I just did something that cost a lot of effort and show it to him proudly and he, in my eyes, nitpicks about the *one* thing that isn't perfect. It drives me crazy for one second, then I disable it. Unfortunately, when he gets that way 20 times a day, it tends to stack so I end up wanting to throw a skillet at his head :steam:
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  6. #166
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    17,521

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Satine View Post
    I had this convo yesterday with my INTJ. I *know* after this long that when he does that, it's out of curiosity coz the rest 'makes sense' to him (aka it's clean, or whatever and fits together, that one object just stands out to him). I know that this is how he works, logically. But goddamn, I'm not able to entirely disable my emotional reaction when I just did something that cost a lot of effort and show it to him proudly and he, in my eyes, nitpicks about the *one* thing that isn't perfect. It drives me crazy for one second, then I disable it. Unfortunately, when he gets that way 20 times a day, it tends to stack so I end up wanting to throw a skillet at his head :steam:
    I do the same as your INTJ, and my poor INTP SO often does not take it as well as you seem to. Has your INTJ been able to curb these observations at all? I have been trying, but with little luck. As you describe, these things just stand out like sore thumbs and I can't not notice them. Mess and clutter just grate sometimes, like the proverbial nails on a chalkboard. My SO deserves better, though.

  7. #167
    He who laughs
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    1,327

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    It depends on the maturity of both partners. Those who feel the need to display every single negative NT/NF trait in spades at once just to irk others are not mature.

  8. #168
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    MBTI
    extp
    Posts
    5

    Default

    it really depends what nt you're talking about. i mean every intj i know is like a walking talking block of ice but entps can be pretty awesome. it depends.

  9. #169
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    Enfp
    Enneagram
    497 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEE Fi
    Posts
    14,656

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    I do the same as your INTJ, and my poor INTP SO often does not take it as well as you seem to. Has your INTJ been able to curb these observations at all? I have been trying, but with little luck. As you describe, these things just stand out like sore thumbs and I can't not notice them. Mess and clutter just grate sometimes, like the proverbial nails on a chalkboard. My SO deserves better, though.
    He's pretty good about it in public, with other people. He just tends to hold his tongue, not have expectations and if they ask go 'It's not bad '

    But with me..he gets to be himself, and I do want him to be that way. And, since I understand it, I will either tease him with it (which makes him fluster ow so cutely as he *knows* he should learn to word it better), or I'll let it slide. It's only when he's been particularly frequent about it, or it's a sensitive spot or I'm stressed that I get annoyed at it, or sigh at it. And then..well, it's his turn to understand and comfort me and reassure that he didn't mean it that way. Then we smile, giggle, or have a little venting tiff, and it passes

    I also tried to teach him the sandwich feedback. Say something good first, then go 'And [Insert comment that you just have got to toss out there], then finish with 'overall, I think it's good coz of this and this'. It's a lot easier to swallow for people. He at times does it well...at times when he says something without thinking he'll forget

    Realize that people *need* to hear that they did good. Especially if they put in a lot of effort. And realize that the world is filled with good things as well as things that are out of order and need fixing. It's also a lot more fun to sometimes focus on the good, instead of focusing on fixing the bad..trust me. At least enjoy the good for a second..the fixing of the bad can wait a bit
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  10. #170
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    intp
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx
    Posts
    7,823

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Satine View Post
    Realize that people *need* to hear that they did good. Especially if they put in a lot of effort. And realize that the world is filled with good things as well as things that are out of order and need fixing. It's also a lot more fun to sometimes focus on the good, instead of focusing on fixing the bad..trust me. At least enjoy the good for a second..the fixing of the bad can wait a bit
    its just that i think many int's seem to think doing stuff well as a standard and when some part of the job isnt done well, its basically same as to us as a job not completed. leaving a one plate bit dirty after washing dishes is quite the same to us as leaving screw out of bikes wheel after fixing it, the screw isnt attached yet/dirt havent been removed yet.

    its not that we only expect this from others, its more that we expect this from ourselves and project the same standards onto others. i(and hopefully other int's) know its wrong to pick out every detail that is wrong in what others did, but this kind of mentality is so big part of the way we think that sometimes we can forget that it might offend other people because this kind of things come to us so naturally.

    its not that we(or atleast i) dont see the good things, its just that if there is something wrong, it stands out more strongly. think about a single plate that is cleaned perfectly only from other half, but the other half is still very dirty/not cleaned at all. would you say that wow the other side of this plate is cleaned very well or would you think/say that the plate is only cleaned from the other side? i bet you wouldnt give compliments on the clean side and i bet it would feel weird to you if others would want you to compliment the clean side and you would most likely forget to compliment the clean side sometimes when you see the other side every time that is still dirty. well this is kinda the way we look at the whole job that is done.

    when we are the ones doing the job this kind of thinking can be a very good thing, but with every good thing there is also a downside and the downside in this is when other people are doing the job. its like yin and yang

    we should work on this flaw, but being quite absent minded, we sometimes forget, not to mention that it can be quite hard to change the fundamentals of your way of thinking we sometimes forget.
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

    Read

Similar Threads

  1. [MBTItm] What good would an NF see in an NT as a romantic partner?
    By FFF in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 89
    Last Post: 06-18-2012, 09:30 PM
  2. [NF] Not being NF is not enough of an excuse
    By SilkRoad in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 97
    Last Post: 12-24-2010, 07:45 PM
  3. If types were foods for all, not just NTs!
    By luminous beam in forum The Fluff Zone
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 02-17-2010, 04:27 PM
  4. [MBTItm] Why are all the NFs jealous of the NTs?
    By ThatsWhatHeSaid in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 161
    Last Post: 06-24-2009, 12:19 AM
  5. [NT] imagination - all INXX's, not just NT's
    By Il Morto Qui Parla in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 02-21-2008, 11:59 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO