[INFJ] infj do people think you are depressed

[jcloudz]

do people think you are depressed though you are not? there has been many people commenting that they think im "so damned depressed". my response is " im not uber super happy but im CERTAINLY not depressed." do you guys and gals find people commenting about you being depressed alot?

 

[Fidelia]

It seems that a lot of INFJs' default facial expression is pretty neutral and not terribly animated, unless they are well recharged and in comfortable company. I haven't had a lot of comments on that, but it seems to be a fairly common INFJ thing.

 

[Lily flower]

My husband thinks I am depressed or anxious all the time, but I would say that usually I feel very positive and happy with life.

 

[Ingrid in grids]

I think my default expression is pretty dispassionate. Those who don't spend a lot of time around me can mistake it for sadness. I get "what's wrong?" from a few people. Nothing's wrong, I'm actually thinking about clouds or sushi or something.

 

[21%]

I was taught from a very young age to try not to look sad or depressed. And people here smile pretty much all the time. So, I guess my answer is no. On the contrary, people seem to think I'm happy even when I'm not.

 

[Polaris]

My friend tells me that I have sad eyes every now and then, even when I'm feeling all right, but I don't get a particularly strong impression that the average person thinks I'm depressed when I'm not. The key word is "particularly," as people have always been slightly prone to ask me what's wrong when nothing is bothering me very much. There are other things that tell me people occasionally think I'm depressed when I'm not, as well, but it would be difficult to explain what these things are: they're just subtle hints, really, but that's saying almost nothing.

 

[guesswho]

do people think you are depressed though you are not? there has been many people commenting that they think im "so damned depressed". my response is " im not uber super happy but im CERTAINLY not depressed." do you guys and gals find people commenting about you being depressed alot?

I saw a clip on youtube with a INFJ girl saying the same exact thing..people telling her that she is depressed, and she was saying...I'm actually happy. And she kinda looked depressed. She didn't express happyness, she talked about it. Which was kinda weird. And it gets even weirder to people who are very expressive.

But I think this has something to do with how introverted you are. And other stuff.

So the answer is yes. You actually look kinda depressed.

 

[Tradewind]

I get questions about this a lot. My brother comments on this all the time.

Usually when I'm not engaged in conversation I drift back to my thoughts and seem to adopt a contemplative look.

I think people just end up seeing this:

Thousand-yard stare - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

If you have seen Criminal Minds its like when Gideon stares off into space. Maybe people think this look is sad?

 

[CuriousFeeling]

I don't always look depressed, more like my mind's off in another zone, distant stare. I suppose my default expression is kind of serious.

 

[milkyway2]

I dunno if I am an intp or infj but people are constantly asking me if I'm depressed. Or telling me to cheer up. Older guys sometimes call me smiley or smiles or something like that because I never smile, lol

But I tell people, I'm not depressed I'm just thinking

 

[Sailboat]

I've had people ask me what's wrong when nothing was wrong at all. When this happens, it surprises me, and it makes me wonder if I just look really serious or sad all the time.

 

[Phantonym]

I think my default expression is pretty dispassionate. Those who don't spend a lot of time around me can mistake it for sadness. I get "what's wrong?" from a few people. Nothing's wrong, I'm actually thinking about clouds or sushi or something.

This is me as well. I'm pretty much neutral all the time, just thinking about stuff, minding my own business. I just don't pay that much attention to my facial expressions when I'm in my thinking mode...hm...or any time really.

 

[Rainne]

ppl sometimes think my infj friend is sad, i prefer to think of him as contemplative

 

[SilkRoad]

I think my default expression is pretty dispassionate. Those who don't spend a lot of time around me can mistake it for sadness. I get "what's wrong?" from a few people. Nothing's wrong, I'm actually thinking about clouds or sushi or something.

Haha, yes, ditto for me. I have that serious default expression so I've had "what's wrong" and "cheer up" from even perfect strangers many a time.

It's fairly rare for people to actually think I'm depressed, though. There have been a few times in my life when I have started telling a friend that I was severely down and often they were quite shocked because apparently I had been hiding it fairly well, or at worst they thought I was a little bit low, not very low.

Apparently I am giving off a pretty cheerful vibe these days, which is nice to know.

 

[SilkRoad]

I think my default expression is pretty dispassionate. Those who don't spend a lot of time around me can mistake it for sadness. I get "what's wrong?" from a few people. Nothing's wrong, I'm actually thinking about clouds or sushi or something.

I wanted to add this as an edit, but the website wouldn't let me...have the edit rules changed? Anyway, here goes:

EDIT: It's actually quite hilarious that you would mention sushi in your post. I got asked out by a guy recently when I was eating alone in a sushi bar (I don't eat out alone a lot, but occasionally.) I wasn't exactly sad that day but I had a lot on my mind and was certainly feeling pensive, serious, deep in thought etc. I noticed the guy looking at me across the room but thought nothing of it. Then a few minutes later he came over and said "you look like you're deep in thought...would you think about going out for a drink with someone some time?" I was actually rather flattered (he was very polite all round, too) but for various reasons said no (if certain life circumstances had been different I might actually have said yes.) I was just tickled by the fact that a man found my serious/spaced-out/deep in thought look intriguing or attractive, rather than weird, freaky or off-putting, which I might normally assume it to be

 

[ReadingRainbows]

I am depressed 30% of the time. This question really doesn't work with me :/

 

[ladypinkington]

My natural expression is very pensive and that can look troubled and sad.

I am in a constant state of inner conflict- but actually I am overall very happy-
I think I seem to feel everything more intensely- not that I actually do- just that it seems that way. When I am depressed you notice it- it is carved on my face and I cannot hide it- when I am happy the same is true. Perhaps that is a part of it- there is no holding back of emotions- everything is transparent.

Who knows for sure?..

 

[kccrush]

This happens and then it feels awkward trying to explain it and then people think you're eccentric or anti-social or just plain rude. It's a no win situation!

 

[Billy]

Haha I had one friend go as far enough as to think I was going to kill myself... when I was like, umm I would never kill myself unless I was like bitten by a zombie, he felt like such a retard.

My natural facial expression is quite emotionless that puts people off.

 

[Lark]

I've encountered this a lot you know, you shouldnt underestimate the capacity of anyone to project their states of mind on to others. Or perhaps they are hoping that others are going through the same things as them.

I dont know but I do know that there's so much of the time I kind of wonder how others come to the conclusions they do and extent to which they dont simply say that someone is moody or gloomy or sad like they once did but go ahead and totally pathologise others without any kind of qualification or knowledge to permit them to do so. Its mad.