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  1. #41
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    How would you react if one of your best friends and a person you thoroughly respected confessed to you he/she had been unfaithful to his/her partner?
    Well for me there are too many unknown variables that I can say what I would think about it.

    Maybe the partner of this person is cheating as well. But your friend is uncomfortable saying that thing are going that bad.
    Or maybe he just got drunk / high and made a stupid decision.
    Or maybe it was ........... there are aot of possible reasons.


    So I would not care much as long as I can sense that our relations will remain stable.

  2. #42
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    !) People make mistakes.
    2) People hold different values as their highest priorities.
    3) One mistake/wrong choice does not make the person bad.
    4) If you apply your own set of values to everyone else, you will dislike everyone. And I mean everyone.
    5) You may disapprove of her/him for what s/he did, but ending the friendship is drastic.
    6) If you are friends with her/him in the first place, I'd think you know her/him enough that you realize his/her weaknesses.
    7) It's up to you to see if her cons outweigh her pros.

    If I disown anyone who is against any one of my important values, I would have nobody. And my values are not even that difficult/long. Hahaha. People are good despite the moments when they make awful mistakes and even if they see things very differently than you do. But if you really cannot forgive her/him, if you feel that is the boundary she/he crossed, then that's your choice, but think about how reasonable that is.

  3. #43
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebe View Post
    !) People make mistakes.
    2) People hold different values as their highest priorities.
    3) One mistake/wrong choice does not make the person bad.
    4) If you apply your own set of values to everyone else, you will dislike everyone. And I mean everyone.
    5) You may disapprove of her/him for what s/he did, but ending the friendship is drastic.
    6) If you are friends with her/him in the first place, I'd think you know her/him enough that you realize his/her weaknesses.
    7) It's up to you to see if her cons outweigh her pros.

    If I disown anyone who is against any one of my important values, I would have nobody. And my values are not even that difficult/long. Hahaha. People are good despite the moments when they make awful mistakes and even if they see things very differently than you do. But if you really cannot forgive her/him, if you feel that is the boundary she/he crossed, then that's your choice, but think about how reasonable that is.
    Think about how reasonable it is to cheat. I never treat people badly after they disappoint me. I just feel more lonely, that is all.

    And if disowning him was a mistake...well, people make mistakes. There is no drawback to bad decisions, so I can disown him without remorse. I'll be forgiven in the end.

  4. #44
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    If you feel that this one decision that he made overpowers all your years of friendship, overpowers all his good qualities, then ok, that's your call. None of us can convince you out of it.

    But, being friends means forgiving each other and understanding each other, sometimes against the odds. Yes, cheating is awful and I'd never do it to my own partner but if one of my best friends did it, I'd try to understand and give her the benefit of the doubt before ending a strong friendship. Being human means being imperfect and sometimes doing awful things, unfortunately.

    But we all have our boundaries that when crossed, there is no return. If this is yours, so be it.

  5. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    How would you react if one of your best friends and a person you thoroughly respected confessed to you he/she had been unfaithful to his/her partner?

    A part of me feels I should stop being a friend to this friend of mine. I feel more cynical about other people every day.
    If it's a he, he's da man. If it's a she, she's a slut. If you're a guy, you're a hata, if you're a girl, it's no problem

    Fair world isn't it!

  6. #46
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    I go with what Jennifer said early on, but I think for a different reason, this being that I am also capable of such actions and therefore have no right to get angry at someone for the actions they committed. This only works though if you feel that you are capable of such actions as well. This is not to say that I wouldn't want them to change their actions, but the quicker we can make it to acceptance the better off we are, in my opinion. This is also to say that the actions that this person committed affect me directly. If they don't I have no reason to voice or have an opinion on anything, or mettle, unless called upon.

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