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[NF] INFJ and INFP Females: What do you hate/love about them?

UnderTheShade

New member
Joined
Aug 3, 2010
Messages
6
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6
I have a great friend who is a INFP. She is a such a beautiful person and I enjoy talking with her very much. I feel grateful that I have her as one because there it is rare to find other INFP's. If there is anything I dislike about her, is her tendency to put others in front of her own ideals and feelings instead of standing her ground.
 

jtanSis1

New member
Joined
Oct 1, 2008
Messages
291
MBTI Type
INFP
This is true for women, but especially here. "We can't figure ourselves out, either. Don't try to figure out what will make us happy. We have been trying to get to the bottom of that mystery since the beginning of time and we have no clue either."
 

musicnerd93

New member
Joined
Apr 19, 2010
Messages
249
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
We're kind and patient and giving and loyal and just all over awesome!!


Until you get to know us. :devil:
 

21%

You have a choice!
Joined
May 15, 2009
Messages
3,224
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5

Rachel

New member
Joined
Aug 12, 2010
Messages
71
MBTI Type
INFX
Enneagram
5w4
I'm borderline P/J so i have aspects of both types although i lean more towards J than P.

They seem to instinctly understand much of what I'm saying, so I don't always have to go into details explaining myself. This is especially true with INFJs.

:yes:

INFPs certainly do have that childlike innocence to them that can make them quite adorable; but the negative side is that they can be childish at times with it.

True . . . for me at least.

Don't know too many other INF's, except my mom (INFJ) So, with INFP I can really only speak about myself.

INFJ Likes:
-Easy to talk to. Likeable people.
-Funny
-Express their opinion without being rude or in-your-face about it.
-Patient and understanding.

Dislikes:
-Make me feel guilty. :/
-When I need to vent about a problem or frustration they always try to solve the problem instead of simply just listening or sympathizing. :p

INFP Likes:
-Ability to think outside the box.
-Childlike innocence.
-That we're the most romantic of all types. :)

INFP Dislikes:
-That we're the most romantic of all types. :/ (Can be problematic.)
-Socially awkward sometimes.
-Totally bipolar.
-Easily offended, take everything way too personally.
Like I said, I can only speak for myself...

Highlighted parts are pretty true

My two best friends in the entire world are INFJ women.

I love how they'll laugh at all of my jokes, or give me a "Holy crap that was so dumb" glare.
I love the "psychic" connection I have with them. One of them called me when I was thinking about this very subject.
The entertaining conversations we have that can begin on the most nonsensical subject and go on for hours.
I love the way we can communicate with subtle hints, from jokes to expressing thoughts or deep feelings.
I love how warm and receptive they are. I respect and admire the way they can be so caring and have no problem tearing into someone when they're provoked.

We often have different opinions and perspectives on things. Sometimes it causes minor conflict, but more often than not I enjoy the alternate view.

They're stubborn as hell and sometimes almost impossible to sell an idea to, but once it's done - well, they'll back it with everything they have.
I hate it when I have to grumble and begrudgingly agree every time I do something dumb and I hear "I told you so!"
Building up to such a high point was very difficult. It took lots of time, lots of back-and-forth testing, and many disagreements and intense arguments. I'd gladly go through it all again.

Parts in bold are quite true. :yes:
 

Fenekk

New member
Joined
Aug 4, 2010
Messages
51
MBTI Type
INFJ
My best friend is INFP, and there are... well, lots of things I like and dislike about her.

First of all, she is incredibly passionate about the things she enjoys and believes in. If you can share interests and beliefs with an INFP... well, you're all set. Granted, some INFPs can get too passionate to the point of arguing... It's kind of funny, though, my friend and I have a lot of similar interests but also radically different beliefs (political, religious, etc) and yet even when we disagree on these things and sometimes debate a little, we never really fight. We have a way of stopping ourselves before we get there. INFPs also have an interesting way of being able to convince you of things (not that she has changed my political and religious beliefs... but you get the point) or get you interested in things that they are passionate about.

On the other hand, something that bothers me about INFPs and my friend in particular is that she always needs more information! It's not that I dislike the pursuit for knowledge, but I feel like my INFP friend will never make certain decisions because she is always looking for more information about how to make the best decision. Examples of this include her views on religion. She has been an "agnostic" or a "diestic skeptic" for as long as I can remember. She has all sorts of books and information on all kinds of religions and yet she can't decide which one she believes in! Another example - When we are doing things together, she is always asking me questions. I understand that she doesn't want to miss anything but why is she asking me, of all people? After all, as I am INFJ, it's more likely that she is paying attention to the details and to sensory information than I am (At least, I have noticed that INFPs have a much better memory than INFJs for details and stuff like numbers, dates, names, etc, which is a good thing!).

Also, beware - I have noticed that INFPs do not like to take a lot of initiative when it comes to self-responsibility and routine things. Maybe it's just the environment my INFP friend grew up in, though, as her parents generally took care of everything when it came to responsibility, especially financially. On the other hand, I have had to work hard for everything I have and managing myself is just a part of that. (But, I repeat, that may just be this specific person, so don't quote me on this.)

A third thing I want to point out that may be good or bad, depending on the perspective, is that my INFP friend has a really bad habit of jumping from interest to interest. By that I mean that she gets really interested in learning certain things, but she often doesn't pursue them for long. This seems to result in her having a lack of focus in her career and her everyday life. I have to remind her every so often that she can't master anything if she is trying to do everything. Maybe she's in love with the excitement of learning something new but once it is routine she gets bored of it? I don't know exactly what makes her do this. The good: A wide variety of knowledge and interests. The bad: Not being able to focus and develop in one area.
 

Rachel

New member
Joined
Aug 12, 2010
Messages
71
MBTI Type
INFX
Enneagram
5w4
On the other hand, something that bothers me about INFPs and my friend in particular is that she always needs more information! It's not that I dislike the pursuit for knowledge, but I feel like my INFP friend will never make certain decisions because she is always looking for more information about how to make the best decision. Examples of this include her views on religion. She has been an "agnostic" or a "diestic skeptic" for as long as I can remember. She has all sorts of books and information on all kinds of religions and yet she can't decide which one she believes in! Another example - When we are doing things together, she is always asking me questions. I understand that she doesn't want to miss anything but why is she asking me, of all people? After all, as I am INFJ, it's more likely that she is paying attention to the details and to sensory information than I am (At least, I have noticed that INFPs have a much better memory than INFJs for details and stuff like numbers, dates, names, etc, which is a good thing!).

Also, beware - I have noticed that INFPs do not like to take a lot of initiative when it comes to self-responsibility and routine things. Maybe it's just the environment my INFP friend grew up in, though, as her parents generally took care of everything when it came to responsibility, especially financially. On the other hand, I have had to work hard for everything I have and managing myself is just a part of that. (But, I repeat, that may just be this specific person, so don't quote me on this.)

I understand this completely. I don't think it's necessarily a desire not to take responsibility, but when you're in a situation where someone is always there, insisting on doing everything for you, it's very easy to simply let someone else do it. You rarely have opportunities to assert yourself since everyone has chosen to take initiative. I don't think it's inability to manage self, but a different way of managing self. She probably doesn't see the need to take initiative if the other person likes doing so, and only does so when she thinks she needs to.

A third thing I want to point out that may be good or bad, depending on the perspective, is that my INFP friend has a really bad habit of jumping from interest to interest. By that I mean that she gets really interested in learning certain things, but she often doesn't pursue them for long. This seems to result in her having a lack of focus in her career and her everyday life. I have to remind her every so often that she can't master anything if she is trying to do everything. Maybe she's in love with the excitement of learning something new but once it is routine she gets bored of it? I don't know exactly what makes her do this. The good: A wide variety of knowledge and interests. The bad: Not being able to focus and develop in one area.

I can relate to this description very well. And i struggled to get through my studies because of this. I have difficulty focusing as well.
 

deadgirlrunning

New member
Joined
Aug 13, 2010
Messages
12
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4
Don't know too many other INF's, except my mom (INFJ) So, with INFP I can really only speak about myself.

INFJ Likes:
-Easy to talk to. Likeable people.
-Funny
-Express their opinion without being rude or in-your-face about it.
-Patient and understanding.

Dislikes:
-Make me feel guilty. :/
-When I need to vent about a problem or frustration they always try to solve the problem instead of simply just listening or sympathizing. :p

INFP Likes:
-Ability to think outside the box. - Yes
-Childlike innocence. - Not anymore
-That we're the most romantic of all types. :) - Not at all

INFP Dislikes:
-That we're the most romantic of all types. :/ (Can be problematic.)
-Socially awkward sometimes. - Oh most definitely :doh:
-Totally bipolar. - Not in the literal sense, but yeah mood swings galore
-Easily offended, take everything way too personally. - Yes, but much better than it used to

Like I said, I can only speak for myself...

I have a close friend/cousin that is like your mom - always trying to solve problems, but she also has many good qualities:) I kind of have the same problem, but only when the solution is simple (to me at least!)
 

SecondBest

Permabanned
Joined
Aug 12, 2010
Messages
844
MBTI Type
eNxp
Enneagram
5/7
INF females. When healthy - always FTW.

When not healthy - suckage.

Yeah, when not healthy - super suckage. I'd find they can be manipulative and selfish. I briefly dated a messed up INFP girl and man, did she love playing mind games.

What do I mean by mind games?

Well, we'd spend a lot of time together, and she'd like to drop hints that she liked me. I mean real clear obvious hints like "You and I would make great dance partners" or "Would you mind staying longer? I don't feel like being alone tonight" or asking me to snuggle up with her while watching movies together - you know, that kind of thing. We also went out on a few dates and I remember she would be very physically affectionate.

And so it would seem as though she really liked me, and then I summon up the courage to tell her how I feel, and she's all like, "Oh, no... I just want to be friends." I became good friends with her ex-boyfriend later on and he completely understood and actually broke up with her because of these behavior patterns. She is unfortunately very very physically attractive and she's developed a habit of sucking men in indiscriminately for the attention and then breaking them off when they get too close, but not so much so that she doesn't get the attention anymore. I remember once I started seriously dating someone else, she called me up out of the blue (because she missed the attention), but I wasn't having it anymore.

Not to generalize, but being a really attractive woman and an INFP seems to be bad for business in my experience.
 

Alwar

The Architect
Joined
Jun 19, 2009
Messages
922
MBTI Type
INTP
For the ones I have interacted with who identify as INFJ or INFP, I think they have strange feminine powers and I love to get into discussions about sociality and human nature/plight with them--the dynamics of which they have a poetic way of describing. Nothing negative to say about them, I think they are the Ãœberfrauen.
 

Rebe

New member
Joined
Nov 15, 2009
Messages
1,431
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4sop
For the ones I have interacted with who identify as INFJ or INFP, I think they have strange feminine powers and I love to get into discussions about sociality and human nature/plight with them--the dynamics of which they have a poetic way of describing. Nothing negative to say about them, I think they are the Ãœberfrauen.

:hug: Don't know what UberFrauen means but sounds positive. I have noticed that people respond well to my smiles and I give off a rather flirtatious air, but in a mix of sweet and seduction. :cheese:

I'd find they can be manipulative and selfish. I briefly dated a messed up INFP girl and man, did she love playing mind games.

:whistling: What I need when I do that is for someone to sit me down, tell me that it's not cool, tell me to be direct about my feelings and intentions and I will. But that's me. I'm not that unhealthy that I don't feel bad.
 

Fenekk

New member
Joined
Aug 4, 2010
Messages
51
MBTI Type
INFJ
I understand this completely. I don't think it's necessarily a desire not to take responsibility, but when you're in a situation where someone is always there, insisting on doing everything for you, it's very easy to simply let someone else do it. You rarely have opportunities to assert yourself since everyone has chosen to take initiative. I don't think it's inability to manage self, but a different way of managing self. She probably doesn't see the need to take initiative if the other person likes doing so, and only does so when she thinks she needs to.

I can see what you mean. I guess that is more of an independence/dependence ratio, though; she seems "moochy" to me in some situations, and as I fall on the independent side of things, I don't like taking things from anyone if I can help it. Here's a funny example: She shops at Whole Foods all the time, because she is really into the nutrition thing (You know how INFPs get about things that really mean something to them!... yep, that's her and nutrition). She calls it "Free Cheese Day" because they have a lot of samples (namely a lot of cheese samples). She keeps reminding me, as well, that if you ask to try something oftentimes they will let you try it. Every once in a while I see something that I might like, and don't think before saying "I might like to try that sometime", then she will say "Well you should ask to try it." And I'm like, "...Nooooo." I figure if I really, really want it I will purchase some to try. I guess in some ways I feel like she is taking advantage of people's generosity (that sounds kind of weird for an INFP, doesn't it?) and she ends up leaning on me a lot because of my independence. And don't get me wrong; I would gladly offer my own generosity without thinking. (Though I might feel taken advantage of... I do it over and over again. And here I never thought I was that bad of a doormat...)

I can relate to this description very well. And i struggled to get through my studies because of this. I have difficulty focusing as well.

That sounds like a pain. :( My friend made very good grades despite her focus jumping around all over the place and her procrastination... Sometimes I wonder how she pulled it off. ;) It's probably outside influence or pressure.
 

William K

Uniqueorn
Joined
Aug 13, 2009
Messages
986
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
That sounds like a pain. :( My friend made very good grades despite her focus jumping around all over the place and her procrastination... Sometimes I wonder how she pulled it off. ;) It's probably outside influence or pressure.

I doubt that it's because of outside influence or pressure. INFPs tend to be internally motivated.
 

DJAchtundvierzig

New member
Joined
Jul 27, 2010
Messages
272
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx
I have a friend who is an INFp...

Good things about her:
Positive attitude
VERY Friendly
VERY Empathetic
VERY Eccentric (I consider this a good thing, but most people don't)
Fun to be around
Open to experience

Bad things about her:
Apprehensive, (but always has a positive attitude)
Crazy quick mood swings
She can be sooooo annoying and repetitive
She thinks she knows everything, not really, but she has that attitude.


I'm the only INFJ I know sooo I'll just go by me.

Good things:
Creative
Artistic
Atheletic
Open to experience
Friendly
VERY Deep
VERY Polite
I care about others ALOT (but not via typologyc, only in person)
I have an eccentric mind, but not an eccentric appearence

Bad things:
Narcassistic (but I don't show it)
Doormat
Hypocritical
Judgemental
Obsessive
Perfectionist
Paronoid
Percrastinator
Histrionic
 

Lily flower

New member
Joined
Jun 28, 2010
Messages
930
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
2
For the ones I have interacted with who identify as INFJ or INFP, I think they have strange feminine powers and I love to get into discussions about sociality and human nature/plight with them--the dynamics of which they have a poetic way of describing. Nothing negative to say about them, I think they are the Ãœberfrauen.

What do you mean exactly by "strange feminine powers"? That sounds very interesting.
 

Lily flower

New member
Joined
Jun 28, 2010
Messages
930
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
2
INFJ's - my husband describes us as "innocently seductive." We are going out in the world snaring men, but being completely childlike in not realizing what we are doing or the nature of our emotional power.
 

lecky

New member
Joined
Dec 2, 2007
Messages
148
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Am I sick for finding it sexy??:blush:

No, lots of people do surprisingly. Maybe not on a forum, but irl men like it. As long as that's not all the INFP does, that would get old fast.
 

Ene

Active member
Joined
Aug 16, 2012
Messages
3,574
MBTI Type
iNfj
Enneagram
5w4
It gets kind of boring hearing what INFJs and INFPs think about themselves.

Where's the adventure in that?

I like to hear what OTHER types think, and even when they don't like us, at least it's interesting. Then again, there is a part of me, even now, saying "why should you care what anybody thinks?" So, why should I? I have no idea, other than I'm curious, even when I don't want to be.

Maybe we should do a thread like this for all types, not just two. That might be entertaining.
 

lecky

New member
Joined
Dec 2, 2007
Messages
148
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
It gets kind of boring hearing what INFJs and INFPs think about themselves.

Where's the adventure in that?

I like to hear what OTHER types think, and even when they don't like us, at least it's interesting. Then again, there is a part of me, even now, saying "why should you care what anybody thinks?" So, why should I? I have no idea, other than I'm curious, even when I don't want to be.

Maybe we should do a thread like this for all types, not just two. That might be entertaining.

LOL true, it's a little sad.
 
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