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  1. #81
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Guys, let's not get into a bitchfight, shall we?

    Milky: ever thought that different perspectives give that impression? Do a bit of research on this forum, and you'll find more than people venting in a thread things. Just becoz people need to vent about something that irks them about someone else, doesn't mean that per definition that someone else is in fact fake, or is deliberately being fake. It actually means they have a different way of being, one you're not even trying to understand. That makes you intolerant or closeminded, which imo is just as bad. I too have had issues with Fe-users *seeming* fake, but once you understand what their motivation is...(and I thank Domino for showing me ), you actually understand how real they are.


    As for the Fe-users: don't let this person bait you into making ad hominem attacks. I think milky might even enjoy getting you banned. For that matter, ganging up on someone, even when they deserve it is...well,ime, rarely productive. Usually those that vent like this about others are just doing that...venting. Others get stuck in that frustration and start taking it for a fact, as they don't understand how the thing that annoys them could actually be a good thing. Doesn't make it alright..but it sorta makes it understandable, though I do not disagree that one should strive to grow past that. Give it time though


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  2. #82
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    Word, Satine... I know you're lookin' out.

    To be honest, I was just trying to be funny. I take that persons statements in at a comedic level, they don't bother me.

    btw, lol at bitchfight.

  3. #83
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tinker683 View Post
    I do dislike however how they often seem unaffected by stuff that stresses me out. I guess it's jealously on my part, but when the world is going to hell in a hand basket and I'm desparately trying to figure out how we're going to piece it together they're just sitting there laid back like, "What, man? Chill out already, it'll all be ok."

    And I'm just like, "But don't you SEE? WHY CAN'T YOU SEE JUST HOW BAD THINGS ARE?!?!?"

    As I said, this only applies the ones I know but I think I'm just jealous of how collected you can be when the shit goes down
    LOL. I think this could be true. In some ways I am very easy going so I avoid most real life tension or drama with the usual suspects. However, when something DOES bother me, it drills into my brain and spirals out of control. Maybe that's a negative of Ne and Fi doing the bad downward spiral. I know "objectively" it may or may not be a big deal but it will piss me off like CRAZY. It's like 'roid rage or something. Extremes only.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

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  4. #84
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    i have a quirky little comment...

    one thing that both bothered me and settled me was the realization of how an ENFJ i know who seemed ULTRA confident to me for a very long time is not, very often, confident at the core. i still can't tell, sometimes.

    this is a curiosity to me. between this and the raging world-without-Fe thread it appears not that ENFJs are fake, but simply very good at projecting an image that may not reveal the whole of what is inside. this is true of ENFP somewhat too but in a different way. ENFP hides the full extent of its breadth... while ENFJ seems to hide the full extent of its depth... though i do not see either case as being fake, because no one ever reveals themselves fully.

    anyway, my question for ENFJs is(are) how do you feel about your external image in relation to your internal image? do you want to hide the really internal stuff from others, or are my thoughts about this off? if so, then why?

  5. #85
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DaMilkyWay<3 View Post
    Okay so here goes

    ENFJ-positive: organized, leader, on time, good grades, nice, warm, enthusiastic, good at handling money

    negative:fake,manipulative, backstabbing, hypocritical, controlling, passive aggressive, emotionally manipulative, emotionally manipulative, closed minded, judgmental, scared of change, likes to tell people how to run their lives(bossy), superficial

    ENFP: positive: accepting, open minded, warm, fun, enthusiastic, creative, friendly, leader, changelings
    negative: flakes, emotionally manipulative, passive aggressive, late, childish, annoying, disorganized, passive aggressive at times, unknowingly starts problems, irresponsible, messy, dirty, forgetful

    But I still think ENFJ's are extremely fake.
    You're entitled to your opinion. I think it also depends on how old you are. Types in their teens-early 20s can almost be like caricatures, or extreme (for good or bad) of their dominant cognitive function or top 2 functions. Ever see ENTP kidlings with no Fe? HOLY SHITE! SCARY! :horor: lol Lots of ENXP kids look like they're all ADHD spazz balls with better-than-most vocabularies.

    ENFJ can fit into the caricature of 'the baddest bitch' or 'queen bee of the roller derby'.

    1) 'Fe' is often interpreted, correctly or not, as 'fake'.
    2) Fe can give you powerful social mojo which you can use for good or evil. That's often the biggest criticism of ENFJs that you see on this forum - too much power socially.

    I have seen some really good examples of 'worst' and 'best' for Fe doms/auxs. The best examples you kinda gaze at them in awe because of their sheer 'charisma' (no joke, I did this to a woman in college, just kinda gaze, mouth half-open at her, she totally knew the effect she could have on me, too!). You don't hate on them b/c the admiration is well-deserved. Or you at least get out of their way b/c you know better and respect their temper/Fe impact. My roommate in NYC was an awesome example of Fe, I really admired her. She was old enough to be my aunt. Fe can truly be charismatic.

    It can also be pretty ugly. Troublemakers, drama-queens, women who are described as "stank"(true story), their Fe is laced thoroughly with cattiness and they seem shady as hell, or just unlikeable. All you know is they think highly of themselves and want you to know it.

    The difference I've seen between the drama queens and the truly well-regarded Fe doms/auxs - the troublemakers have almost a desperate need for attention/recognition that twists up the vibe and use of their Fe (I have also seen this in a few young ENTP females whose Fe I just read as fake as hell). The others - positive recognition just comes to them naturally b/c of their swagger so they are at ease.

    Milky Way, I'm guessing you are in highschool or latest college aged so your assessment of negative Fe is accurate for you. I would say though that some of the ENFPs you like may actually be Fe doms/auxs and not ENFPs. There are 'good' Fe users even at young ages. :P
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

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  6. #86
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DaMilkyWay<3 View Post
    But I still think ENFJ's are extremely fake.
    Sorry If I was being feisty but that comment just got to me, thought it was pretty rude. :steam:

    Its all good in the hood. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, even if...okay Im shutting up now.

    MEOW <--
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  7. #87
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    anyway, my question for ENFJs is(are) how do you feel about your external image in relation to your internal image? do you want to hide the really internal stuff from others, or are my thoughts about this off? if so, then why?
    I dont purposely try to hide the really internal stuff from others, Im open to sharing if I feel the other person really cares to listen...otherwise I dont want to bother. I think ENFJs are also known to focus more on other people and not themselves.
    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

  8. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by Satine View Post
    Guys, let's not get into a bitchfight, shall we?

    Milky: ever thought that different perspectives give that impression? Do a bit of research on this forum, and you'll find more than people venting in a thread things. Just becoz people need to vent about something that irks them about someone else, doesn't mean that per definition that someone else is in fact fake, or is deliberately being fake. It actually means they have a different way of being, one you're not even trying to understand. That makes you intolerant or closeminded, which imo is just as bad. I too have had issues with Fe-users *seeming* fake, but once you understand what their motivation is...(and I thank Domino for showing me ), you actually understand how real they are.

    As for the Fe-users: don't let this person bait you into making ad hominem attacks. I think milky might even enjoy getting you banned. For that matter, ganging up on someone, even when they deserve it is...well,ime, rarely productive. Usually those that vent like this about others are just doing that...venting. Others get stuck in that frustration and start taking it for a fact, as they don't understand how the thing that annoys them could actually be a good thing. Doesn't make it alright..but it sorta makes it understandable, though I do not disagree that one should strive to grow past that. Give it time though




    A.O you crack me up sometimes
    Sorry, I know that it doesn't give me an excuse but I absolutely cannot not stand when people state their experiences as fact. I probably would have done the same thing if she was bashing ENFPs. :steam: Ftr, I think she would banned long before I would but I will definitely stop playing into her childish games. You are totally right and I was in the wrong.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sparrow View Post
    I dont purposely try to hide the really internal stuff from others, Im open to sharing if I feel the other person really cares to listen...otherwise I dont want to bother. I think ENFJs are also known to focus more on other people and not themselves.
    yeah, same here. I think I can be as quirky as ENFPs but I don't want to scare people off. As a result, I play at the person's level.

  9. #89
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post

    ENFJ can fit into the caricature of 'the baddest bitch' or 'queen bee of the roller derby'.
    oops! You know what's funny, I actually thought about joining the rat city racers roller derby team....but I bruise to easily lol!
    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

  10. #90
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    Sorry, I know that it doesn't give me an excuse but I absolutely cannot not stand when people state their experiences as fact. I probably would have done the same thing if she was bashing ENFPs. :steam: Ftr, I think she would banned long before I would but I will definitely stop playing into her childish games. You are totally right and I was in the wrong.

    yeah, same here. I think I can be as quirky as ENFPs but I don't want to scare people off. As a result, I play at the person's level.
    Cross the line and feel the wrath of an enfj...if your unlucky enough muahahahaaa, j/k . As for the quote above, I totally agree with you we can get really serious and intense about things we hold dear to us, we don't want scare anyone so we vibe with them on their level. Makes sense.
    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

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