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  1. #61
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    With regards to my female ENFJ friend...

    Like: Kindness, selflessness, cheer/bubbliness, honesty (yes, you read that right, o ye stereotypers)
    Dislike: Bitching about a situation for two weeks isn't going to solve the problem. Seriously!
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



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  2. #62
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Dislike: Bitching about a situation for two weeks isn't going to solve the problem. Seriously!
    I'm so guilty of that, it's so bad that I end up losing sleep obsessing over some dumb shit like work. Happens atleast once or twice a year. Any tips?
    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

  3. #63
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    I love ENFP ladies for fun times, and frollicking on some mad mission that makes no sense, but makes me chuckle lol. I like the random conversations we have together, and the way we just get what the other one is trying to say. Also that we can see through each others bullshit.

    I usually have an ENFP or 2 around me.

    I've only met one ENFJ woman in real life, and I found her very intense, but in an cool way. Our conversations were instantly open and warm, and I felt connected to her quite quickly.

    We are still getting to know each other though, so more than that I can't say.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  4. #64
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DaMilkyWay<3 View Post
    ENFJ's are extremely fake and it is obviously so. They have this social mask they wear and its almost as if you can't get past it. Very manipulative and is the type of person to stab you in the back and do it while smiling wide in your face. Although they are warm, sweet, and open to a certain extent their judgementalism and morally superior attitude is just too much to deal. They seem to know what is best for everyone. They love to know everyone else's business. Very cutthroat in a round about way. Will cut down anyone they view as competition in a passive aggressive way. Like to talk shit and heavily judge others which is in large contrast to the fact that they don't like conflict. Overall really fake females who are really into what they wear and cutting down other females who are prettier, smarter, and more talented than them. :steam:

    ENFJ is the best friend you find out later was backstabbing you the whole time.
    Pretty obvious to me that you don't have a real understanding of ENFJs. Good work!
    Some tidbits could almost resonate, but your delivery and extreme bias just killed it. Right after this, i'm going to agree with an ENFJ that actually understands ENFJs...
    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    I think I can be manipulative, "know-it-all", controlling, easily annoyed, judgmental (at times), brooding, play the victim, conflict averse, talk too much, passive-aggressive, likes attention, won't let things go, worry too much, won't ask for help, too reserved, noncomittal, anti-authority, gossipy.

    Positives: Accepting, open-minded (generally), rather blunt/direct/honest, dependable when it counts, flexible, easy-going, complimentary, diplomatic, considerate, can admit when I am wrong.
    Agreed!
    Probably the best list of positives and negatives that i've seen in a bit.
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


    .:: DWTWD ::.

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    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

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  5. #65
    Senior Member Vamp's Avatar
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    I wish I could harnass this ability to manipulate. .. ...I'm always the one getting manipulated. I don't consider myself conventionally naive because I am cynical/bitter/etc . ...

    I like: I'm not afraid to talk to people, I'm flexible, there's a spontaneous monster in me, I see opportunity every where: it may not be "suitable" opportunities for everyone but they're there.
    I dislike: I'm too "weird" and don't know how to handle being the odd girl out all of the time. I'm a whiner, to hear me tell it I'm always the victim. ..somehow. I have a deep need to tell people what they want to hear and this leads to self hatred. I never ask for help and worry too much.
    Really, this dislike section could go on forever. I'm too negative.
    George Bernard Shaw in cartoon form.

  6. #66
    Member Cephalonimbus's Avatar
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    I don't think i know any ENFP women... i need to find some, the ones on this site seem pretty awesome


    I'll just share the pros and cons of my dear ENFJ friend.

    Pros:
    She's warm and caring, sweet, loyal, open-minded, selfless, generous, engaging and fun to be around. She can bring out the best in people, makes friends very easily and is always willing to help. I can talk to her about anything and she'll always listen and be supportive.

    Cons:
    Won't tell you the whole story if it might hurt your feelings. Puts other people's needs before her own. Doesn't ask for help when she really needs it. Worries too much. Sometimes makes rash decisions. Can be very stubborn. Can become very depressed and act avoidant in difficult times.

    Decide for yourselves which are general ENFJ characteristics and which are particular to her, as i don't know any other ENFJs closely.
    ik sprokkel wat dagen, drop baggage,
    soms heb ik geen zin om die koffers te dragen,
    ik laat los, los het op, word onzichtbaar
    en geef de buitenlucht wat ruimte terug
    dus.. nu zit ik op m'n fiets alsof het niets is,
    maar niets kan toch niet uit zichzelf pedalen laten draaien?

    ~ Typhoon

  7. #67
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    Pretty obvious to me that you don't have a real understanding of ENFJs. Good work!
    Some tidbits could almost resonate, but your delivery and extreme bias just killed it. Right after this, i'm going to agree with an ENFJ that actually understands ENFJs...
    This thread is about how other people view ENFJ's not how ENFJ's view themselves.

    Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    I think I can be manipulative, "know-it-all", controlling, easily annoyed, judgmental (at times), brooding, play the victim, conflict averse, talk too much, passive-aggressive, likes attention, won't let things go, worry too much, won't ask for help, too reserved, noncomittal, anti-authority, gossipy.
    I dont see how any of the things that are written here stray too far from my view of ENFJ's. of course a person is always going to describe their type in a more positive way. I haven't had good experiences with ENFJ's they start out nice but end up showing their true colors. Manipulative, fake, backstabbing, plays the victim, controlling, gossipy and critical. Many of the words used by Pitseleh- a self proclaimed ENFJ- can be used to describe the behavior I was describing in my post.

  8. #68
    Glycerine
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    Quote Originally Posted by DaMilkyWay<3 View Post
    This thread is about how other people view ENFJ's not how ENFJ's view themselves.



    I dont see how any of the things that are written here stray too far from my view of ENFJ's. of course a person is always going to describe their type in a more positive way. I haven't had good experiences with ENFJ's they start out nice but end up showing their true colors. Manipulative, fake, backstabbing, plays the victim, controlling, gossipy and critical. Many of the words used by Pitseleh- a self proclaimed ENFJ- can be used to describe the behavior I was describing in my post.
    Well, there is also a way describing something in a overly negatively biased way... so you are not making yourself any more credible. if you hadn't attempted to make it an emotional ENFJ hate fest and an ENFP love fest, it would be more credible. Balance is key if you want to get your point across seriously.

    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    Interesting, I know I have many faults but moral superiority is definitely not one of them.
    I would say my ENFP sister and I are about same on that.

    I think I can be manipulative, "know-it-all", controlling, easily annoyed, judgmental (at times), brooding, play the victim, conflict averse, talk too much, passive-aggressive, likes attention, won't let things go, worry too much, won't ask for help, too reserved, noncomittal, anti-authority, gossipy.

    Positives: Accepting, open-minded (generally), rather blunt/direct/honest, dependable when it counts, flexible, easy-going, complimentary, diplomatic, considerate, can admit when I am wrong.

    Sister negatives: She will spread your business around...she doesn't really have a filter unless you tell her "don't say anything", she will cut you off if you bore her, she's a bit self-centered, and needs constant validation and attention, a little judgmental, she will ram her beliefs down your throat, bossy, gossipy, if she doesn't see the value in it, she will dismiss it even if it's important to the other person, can be really loud and boisterous

    Positive: Open-minded, lets things go, fun, affectionate, has good intentions, open to new experiences, great people skills, complimentary, engaging, honest, creative, very individualistic.
    See what I did there...
    Quote Originally Posted by DaMilkyWay<3 View Post
    ENFJ's are extremely fake and it is obviously so. They have this social mask they wear and its almost as if you can't get past it. Very manipulative and is the type of person to stab you in the back and do it while smiling wide in your face. Although they are warm, sweet, and open to a certain extent their judgementalism and morally superior attitude is just too much to deal. They seem to know what is best for everyone. They love to know everyone else's business. Very cutthroat in a round about way. Will cut down anyone they view as competition in a passive aggressive way. Like to talk shit and heavily judge others which is in large contrast to the fact that they don't like conflict. Overall really fake females who are really into what they wear and cutting down other females who are prettier, smarter, and more talented than them.

    ENFP's are 100 times more genuine than ENFJ's. Easy to get along with funny, spontaneous, go with the flow, open minded, and likes to try new experiences. Make good friends and are endlessly optimistic. They come across as naive because they don't focus on negative outcomes as much. Hippie, free- spirits. ENFp's are the best friend you can ever ask for.

    ENFJ is the best friend you find out later was backstabbing you the whole time.
    Compare yours with mine... there's a HUGE difference.

  9. #69
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DaMilkyWay<3 View Post
    ENFJ's are extremely fake and it is obviously so. They have this social mask they wear and its almost as if you can't get past it. Very manipulative and is the type of person to stab you in the back and do it while smiling wide in your face. Although they are warm, sweet, and open to a certain extent their judgementalism and morally superior attitude is just too much to deal. They seem to know what is best for everyone. They love to know everyone else's business. Very cutthroat in a round about way. Will cut down anyone they view as competition in a passive aggressive way. Like to talk shit and heavily judge others which is in large contrast to the fact that they don't like conflict. Overall really fake females who are really into what they wear and cutting down other females who are prettier, smarter, and more talented than them. :steam:

    ENFP's are 100 times more genuine than ENFJ's. Easy to get along with funny, spontaneous, go with the flow, open minded, and likes to try new experiences. Make good friends and are endlessly optimistic. They come across as naive because they don't focus on negative outcomes as much. Hippie, free- spirits. ENFp's are the best friend you can ever ask for.

    ENFJ is the best friend you find out later was backstabbing you the whole time.
    appreciate the ENFP love but

    it seems like you've looked only at ENFP's good side and ENFJ's bad side! i'm sorry if you've experienced only the bad side of ENFJ, because that would suck, and you'd be missing out on a lot! the one person i'm closest with is an ENFJ and while i can see a lot of those attributes in them, i also think this is a very slanted description.

    and it is hard to get to know the "real" them, in my experience, but isn't it really every individual's prerogative to have privacy? i am a very private person too in some ways, but i think it's less obvious than with ENFJs. NFJs seem to keep most people at arm's length, while ENFP will open up to most people - but only a certain side of us. so it's like you can sense what you're missing out on with ENFJ, but with ENFP, you don't even know that we're not (intentionally or unintentionally) showing you the other 62% of us.

    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    One thing I find annoying about some ENFPs is that they have high standards/expectations BUT don't tell you how they want you to do things in the first places and you have to change it.
    we just want to let you have the chance to succeed mess it up however you think would be best

    To even out the field. For the ENFJs, it's frustrating when you say will do something just because you think it will please the person but you never get around to do it... what's the point?
    also... if you do this with a Fi dom/aux, it reads like you care a lot more about a lot of other things than me...

    Quote Originally Posted by tinker683
    I guess it's jealously on my part, but when the world is going to hell in a hand basket and I'm desparately trying to figure out how we're going to piece it together [ENFPs are] just sitting there laid back like, "What, man? Chill out already, it'll all be ok."

    And I'm just like, "But don't you SEE? WHY CAN'T YOU SEE JUST HOW BAD THINGS ARE?!?!?"
    hah.

    yeah, i get this reaction from my family. it's not that i don't see it's bad, but comparatively things could probably be a lot worse, and things naturally ebb and flow over time, you know? though if you've ever seen ENFP in holy-shit-this-we're-fucked-if-i-don't-do-something mode (reallyyy rare), it's kinda frightening. personally i look like ENTJ on a rampage, then i need to sleep for like a week.

    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    People suck and it's got little to do with type.
    + 100

  10. #70
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    I've heard somewhere that males, in general, report the highest satisfaction with an ENFP or ENFJ partner than with any other type

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