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  1. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by _dp View Post
    I've heard somewhere that males, in general, report the highest satisfaction with an ENFP or ENFJ partner than with any other type
    You sure you heard this somewhere? Or is it just wishful thinking?

  2. #92
    meinmeinmein! mmhmm's Avatar
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    i know an enfj who'll do anything...
    short of murder for what she loves...

    it's intimidating, scary, and awesome to watch.
    sometimes it looks like one big intricate lie--her life
    sometime it looks like wow, you really know how to live

    it's frustrating, consuming, addictive to be a part of...
    every normal man must be tempted, at times,
    to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag,
    and begin slitting throats.
    h.l. mencken

  3. #93
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    i have a quirky little comment...

    one thing that both bothered me and settled me was the realization of how an ENFJ i know who seemed ULTRA confident to me for a very long time is not, very often, confident at the core. i still can't tell, sometimes.

    this is a curiosity to me. between this and the raging world-without-Fe thread it appears not that ENFJs are fake, but simply very good at projecting an image that may not reveal the whole of what is inside. this is true of ENFP somewhat too but in a different way. ENFP hides the full extent of its breadth... while ENFJ seems to hide the full extent of its depth... though i do not see either case as being fake, because no one ever reveals themselves fully.
    I think I have always perceived ALL Fe users as being potential salesmen. See the comic image and salesmanship of Steve Martin and Robin Williams in the NFJ camp, for example. Neither of these men are extroverts by nature but they can get up in front of crowds and have the confidence to make everyone laugh. I see this tendency in ESTPs, ISTPs, ESFJs, and ISFJs, as well as us E and INFJs, and certainly ENTPs. Much less in the INTP camp, but it does exist - I've seen several examples in real life.

    Being mistaken for a con artist might mean nothing more than whomever is observing you is making such assumptions in a cynical manner and is seeing what they want to see because they don't trust people. If you actually ARE a con artist, they'll never know what hit them. If you aren't, you'll be spending a lot of time explaining or even apologizing for the bad behavior of other Fe users.

    Using charm on someone doesn't make you fake. It should tell the other person that they're worth the trouble of a little cavalier treatment and should enjoy every minute of it because the rest of the world is hard and ugly and disrespectful.

    anyway, my question for ENFJs is(are) how do you feel about your external image in relation to your internal image? do you want to hide the really internal stuff from others, or are my thoughts about this off? if so, then why?
    I am every bit as defensive of myself as my INFJ father. The very idea of being "exposed" to others' scrutiny is unthinkable. I offer a great deal of myself to people and every bit of it is genuine, but to push past that without my permission will cause a lock-down situation in a heartbeat. My secrets are my own. I'll tell you if I feel I can stand the strain of such painful exposure, but there are other things deep within me that I believe will go with me to my grave. Not because I distrust my closest friends, but because I cannot get that knowledge BACK once it is spoken. I am quite easy to obliterate. I need the armor for a reason.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  4. #94
    Glycerine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Domino View Post

    I am every bit as defensive of myself as my INFJ father. The very idea of being "exposed" to others' scrutiny is unthinkable. I offer a great deal of myself to people and every bit of it is genuine, but to push past that without my permission will cause a lock-down situation in a heartbeat. My secrets are my own. I'll tell you if I feel I can stand the strain of such painful exposure, but there are other things deep within me that I believe will go with me to my grave. Not because I distrust my closest friends, but because I cannot get that knowledge BACK once it is spoken. I am quite easy to obliterate. I need the armor for a reason.
    Yikes, my ESFJ dad tells people he JUST met MY life history and MY accomplishments. It's quite interesting to note the stark difference between my dad and I. I love you dad but thanks....for telling random people what I consider "private".

  5. #95
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    Yikes, my ESFJ dad tells people he JUST met MY life history and MY accomplishments. It's quite interesting to note the stark difference between my dad and I. I love you dad but thanks....for telling random people what I consider "private".
    There's a Dilbert cartoon of a mother telling visiting guests about her son's "incident" at the monkey house at the zoo when he was little. I had no idea this was you. lol
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  6. #96
    Glycerine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Domino View Post
    There's a Dilbert cartoon of a mother telling visiting guests about her son's "incident" at the monkey house at the zoo when he was little. I had no idea this was you. lol
    hahahaha, this reminds me of an "incident" that happened with my dad but in the reverse situation. One night at the dinner table my dad was commenting on how a lot of blond women worked for him and was joking about how they were his secret "girlfriends". So the next day, one of his closest work friends (a blond female ) dropped by (it was the VERY first time I met her... a kickass ISTJ). She said "hi" to me and I just blurted out, "Are you one of my dad's blonds?" He was absolutely mortified..... oops. His friend thought it was hilarious though and it was a joke in the office for quite awhile. DAMN Ni.

  7. #97
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    hahahaha, this reminds me of an "incident" that happened with my dad but in the reverse situation. One night at the dinner table my dad was commenting on how a lot of blond women worked for him and was joking about how they were his secret "girlfriends". So the next day, one of his closest work friends (a blond female ) dropped by (it was the VERY first time I met her... a kickass ISTJ). She said "hi" to me and I just blurted out, "Are you one of my dad's blonds?" He was absolutely mortified..... oops. His friend thought it was hilarious though and it was a joke in the office for quite awhile. DAMN Ni.


    Quote Originally Posted by Domino
    I am every bit as defensive of myself as my INFJ father. The very idea of being "exposed" to others' scrutiny is unthinkable. I offer a great deal of myself to people and every bit of it is genuine, but to push past that without my permission will cause a lock-down situation in a heartbeat. My secrets are my own. I'll tell you if I feel I can stand the strain of such painful exposure, but there are other things deep within me that I believe will go with me to my grave. Not because I distrust my closest friends, but because I cannot get that knowledge BACK once it is spoken. I am quite easy to obliterate. I need the armor for a reason.
    i have spent the last 10 seconds subconsciously trying to figure out how to ask you what kinds of things are possibly so destructive as to be so threatening, without actually asking you what your secrets are

    i dunno, i have some embarrassing/disappointing moments that i don't really share, but i think if i ever met someone who had a similar moment, i would be inclined to share. or even somewhere like PostSecret, or FML. i'm almost inclined to say my worst moments here. to me there is something cathartic about sharing, like it frees me to just... not hide it. to pull it out, look at it, laugh at it or regret at it. and to openly analyze it for what it is and no more than that. most things that are so "bad" feeling... well they're not kind, or admirable, but logically they are quite human, and others have done them too. locking in is burdensome; freeing is... well, freeing.

    but these things may well have nothing at all to do with function order.

  8. #98
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    Sparrow -It's not rude for me to say what I think. It might not apply to you but it does apply to many ENFJ's I have had to interact with. I don't have to agree with you. People had a problem with my original comment and I wrote a response in order to make it more fair. But that doesn't mean that I have to completely change my original stance. Fe comes across as fake as stated by someone earlier. It doesn't mean that what I am saying is true for all but it true for the ones I have the unfortunate luck of having to deal with.

  9. #99
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    It can be rude to say what you think (with out proper execution)...what if I said "all the <<insert race here>> are stinky and stupid". Thats how your comment came across, and that irked me. See where Im coming from? Its all good, think whatever you want and do whatever you want. Carry on . Im over it. Alll we are sayyyyyin...is give peace a chance. lol.
    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

  10. #100
    Senior Member Goosebump's Avatar
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    I have an ENFP and I love her. She's hella fun and can be really whimsical. She loves talking about her wishes, books that she read, and her current thoughts. I admire her kindness as she sincerely adores children and many times told me she wants to work in a nursing home, to brighten up the elders and take care of them. She told me dream of getting a horse and running in the rain, which I thought was quite interesting comparing to other people I know.

    She can be really stubborn however, and at times kinda rude to my ISFJ friend. :/

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