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  1. #11
    Senior Member You's Avatar
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    Outside of school I was a big loner. I was mostly that way all the way up through high school. I got clingy with the folks that were friends - but now I am just back to being a loner again. A lot safer.
    Last edited by You; 07-09-2010 at 06:19 PM.

  2. #12
    meinmeinmein! mmhmm's Avatar
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    i have no problems hanging out with people. or meeting new people.
    it's just that as i grow older, i find that there's fewer people i actually want to hangout with.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by mmhmm View Post
    i have no problems hanging out with people. or meeting new people.
    it's just that as i grow older, i find that there's fewer people i actually want to hangout with.
    WORD!

  4. #14
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mmhmm View Post
    i have no problems hanging out with people. or meeting new people.
    it's just that as i grow older, i find that there's fewer people i actually want to hangout with.
    +1000. Maybe this is true for all personality types. However, since being able to talk to anyone about anything is one of the hallmarks of being an ENFP, understanding the development of this more discriminating perspective seems to be important to understanding ENFPs.

    Said in another way, I find that one of the foibles of getting older is that I have an increasingly minimal patience for bullsh*t.

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    +1000. Maybe this is true for all personality types. However, since being able to talk to anyone about anything is one of the hallmarks of being an ENFP, understanding the development of this more discriminating perspective seems to be important to understanding ENFPs.

    Said in another way, I find that one of the foibles of getting older is that I have an increasingly minimal patience for bullsh*t.

    YES YES YES esoteric wench - especially to your last sentence! i actually have an issue where i "dump" "friends" / "acquaintances" far too easily - like . . . i have a very low tolerance for drama and / or manipulation & when i "sense" it, i'm kinda done. i don't mind people who have problems or issues in their lives whatsoever . . . i just don't tolerate people who play games with ME . . . and female friends will do this to you too . . . it's not just about romantic relationships . . . man oh man is my friend list shrinking . . . it's a little scarey, but whatever

  6. #16
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    I was VERY shy as a kid (well, till about 19 actually) and felt NO ONE around me understood me- I threw myself into a myriad of activities and made myself happy by being in crowded situations but its only now I am comfortable being me.

  7. #17
    Senior Member Blossom500's Avatar
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    I had a lot of problems with friendships. I always felt very different. I used to hang around with geeks a bit towards the end of high school because they accepted me as I was I guess. I had was never with the 'in crowd' could not stand the bitching. I guess I was more of a what I would call a drifter. I was liked by most people until the cool people went to far and I stood up for the people they picked on. Kind managed to get myself ostracized that way. Was involved in the church youth scene in music and everyone knew me but I did not know them. My closer friends were always significantly older than me. I still have a lot of friends who are a lot older. I tend to polarize people they either "get me" and love me or they think I am a know it all... which I know I'm not but I do have opinions and I do brainstorm without letting others know that is what I am doing (trying to change this) so they think I think I know all the answers.

    Find it hard to let people really in... but then my inner life is so chaotic and a little depressing sometimes I don't really think it is a good look.

  8. #18
    Post-Humorously stalemate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    Hmm..I didn't have these issues. I was shy until maybe 3rd or 4th grade but people were always really nice to me. I didn't have a hard time making friends.
    Pretty much the same for me except I was around 6th or 7th grade before I stopped being shy.

    The biggest issue I had as far as making friends is that I was friends with everyone.. all types, but the different cliques were not friends with each other. It was hard when I would be hanging out with my nerdier friends and my more athletic friends would come over and make fun of everyone in the group except me.

  9. #19
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    When I was a kid I was outgoing and got along with people very easily, and, by most standards, would have been considered "popular."

    I don't recall ever feeling lonely as a child.

    The problem, however, was that I hated conflict and was terrified of rejection---so I was rarely willing to risk displeasing others.

    If I had dared to risk displeasing others more often I might have ended up lonely at times, but I think that it would have been worth it.

    The older I get, the more willing I am to risk displeasing others. This has resulted in a far less active social life and occasional feelings of loneliness, but the payoff is that I am not caught in the rat race of seeking approval all the time.
    Last edited by Wonkavision; 07-27-2010 at 01:31 AM.
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  10. #20
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    People didn't really understand me was the thing. They thought I was weird, or annoying, or had my head too far in the clouds. Constantly day-dreaming and overly hyper. They made fun of me a lot...so yeah, I had this problem too. I started being able to form friendships much more easily in junior high and high school, when I matured a little. I'm still not as popular as I'd like to be, but I don't have much difficulty connecting with people and making friends.
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