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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Liesl View Post
    I don't think this is the place for you to ask for help. I think you need to find somebody that you can explain everything to, somebody who will understand your story, how you got to be where you are today.

    My experience was that very few people can understand the life experiences that lead to the type of unhappiness you are experiencing. You have to find the right person. Not all therapists or social workers are created equally. You have to find the right one. You have to find someone committed to you, and you have to tell them everything.

    It's not about conforming. It's about you finding a way to address your sorrow, dismiss your shame, and find deep contentment.

    You're not a bad person. Lives are not created equally. You've probably been through things that other people haven't, things that other people couldn't even fathom. We don't live in a world that's conducive to working through that or comprehending that. You need to find a safe space where you can examine yourself and what you've been through.

    I'm sorry for everything. And I hope that you can come to a place of acceptance and moving forward. And as far as hurting others, I hope you reach a place where you don't want to make other people feel as unhappy as you feel right now. Everybody deserves happiness, you included.

    You can turn it around. You can be forgiven.
    thanks liesl.

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by GemPOPGem View Post
    Every "bad" person has a good person inside them...somewhere ;-)
    i hope so. i know i can be truly evil and hit someone where it hurts. its actually scary thinking back on it. i think i was conditioned this way growing up. i got more attention from my parents when i was bad, and got zero credit for being good.

    But...and it's a big but, i try not to hurt anyone emotionally or otherwise.
    usually i dont try to hurt anyone. i just do. especially with females that like me. i always end up hurting them by accident (not physically). i often wonder if they are manipulative and act hurt on purpose just to get a reaction out of me and see if i even care.

    Do you study? Do you work? Do you understand that there is more to life than one night stands.
    im done school and i recently started a new job which i hate. i have no choice, i have to work there until i can find something better. after being unemployed for so long, im lucky to have this job. it's decent, but not my thing. my previous career got screwed up when i was arrested (not my fault, i was innocent). that started a huge downward spiral for me and it seems like its taken forever to get back on my feet.

    i want to meet new people, make new friends, but im stuck at this job where everyone is in their late 30's-50's and i'm in my early 20s. its a lonely place and i feel like being mischievous just to make time go by faster, but since im new there i know i have to hold back to fit in and be normal.

  3. #33
    Let me count the ways Betty Blue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by themarlins View Post
    i hope so. i know i can be truly evil and hit someone where it hurts. its actually scary thinking back on it. i think i was conditioned this way growing up. i got more attention from my parents when i was bad, and got zero credit for being good.
    Ok so you learnt things the wrong way round, it can be fixed and your doing a good job just by admitting there is a problem



    Quote Originally Posted by themarlins View Post
    usually i dont try to hurt anyone. i just do. especially with females that like me. i always end up hurting them by accident (not physically). i often wonder if they are manipulative and act hurt on purpose just to get a reaction out of me and see if i even care.
    The key to this may be as simple as being really honest with girls, if someones interested explain that you are only into having a one night stand, that it's nothing personal and ask them if they are ok with that, if not move on.


    Quote Originally Posted by themarlins View Post
    im done school and i recently started a new job which i hate. i have no choice, i have to work there until i can find something better. after being unemployed for so long, im lucky to have this job. it's decent, but not my thing. my previous career got screwed up when i was arrested (not my fault, i was innocent). that started a huge downward spiral for me and it seems like its taken forever to get back on my feet.
    Yeah that can be tough, have you thought about starting your own business?
    Online small businesses are great because they are fairly annonymous...

    Quote Originally Posted by themarlins View Post
    i want to meet new people, make new friends, but im stuck at this job where everyone is in their late 30's-50's and i'm in my early 20s. its a lonely place and i feel like being mischievous just to make time go by faster, but since im new there i know i have to hold back to fit in and be normal.
    Well work is not the only place to meet new people, do you live in a town? Or city? Find ways to broaden your social settings...
    I think you may benefit from being around other intelligent people you own age.
    The longest "job" i ever had was 8 months, i'm not great at working for other people. I hated the hierarchy and bureaucracy of working in a company, it never suited me.
    Theres a whole world of opportunities out there though, you just need the desire to go and seek them out.
    "We knew he was someone who had a tragic flaw, that's where his greatness came from"

  4. #34
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    you know, i really wish i could maintain the same mentality i had when i made this thread.

    only a couple days gone by and i already feel like fuck it, i can only be myself, who gives a shit what anyone else thinks *sigh

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by themarlins View Post
    i'm entp sx7w8. i'm a renegade. im a bad person. ive done some terrible things in my life. ive hurt people. ive used people. ive been mean to some people. ive been anti social. i'm overly critical.

    I just want to be a nicer person. It feels SO hard for me to just conform and be co-operative. I always want to rebel. I always want to cause trouble. I dont know why I feel that way.

    I feel like an asshole. Can I ever be forgiven for my sins? How can I turn it around and be more positive?

    I actually used to take pride in being an outlaw. But I'm truly unhappy right now. I've been in trouble with the law and lost alot. I feel like there isnt much hope. I see NFs who are happy go lucky and always optimistic. I see them getting along with everyone. I envy those things and want to be like that. What can I do with myself? How can I be a better person who fits into society? How can I get along better with others and make more friends?
    This may sound like a joke, or as an insult. But it really is not.
    Have you tried smoking pot? Regularly? I bet it would help.

    I look positively at pot by the way so I am in no way trying to insult you.

    Unlike alcohol, pot will not make you violent or make you act in any unexpected way. It will mellow you out, and that is about it. Pot is not addictive either, unlike coffee and alcohol.

    Perhaps you already knew this. Perhaps you already smoke pot. Perhaps you are very opposed to pot. But I can't know these things.

    Anyway, I hope you find a way to relax.


    Edit: I'm negative, and loathe the world.

  6. #36
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by themarlins View Post
    you know, i really wish i could maintain the same mentality i had when i made this thread.

    only a couple days gone by and i already feel like fuck it, i can only be myself, who gives a shit what anyone else thinks *sigh
    Dont give up Just learn to hold your tongue when you want to say something mean. Humans are capable of anything if we try!

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by angell_m View Post
    This may sound like a joke, or as an insult. But it really is not.
    Have you tried smoking pot? Regularly? I bet it would help.

    I look positively at pot by the way so I am in no way trying to insult you.

    Unlike alcohol, pot will not make you violent or make you act in any unexpected way. It will mellow you out, and that is about it. Pot is not addictive either, unlike coffee and alcohol.

    Perhaps you already knew this. Perhaps you already smoke pot. Perhaps you are very opposed to pot. But I can't know these things.

    Anyway, I hope you find a way to relax.


    Edit: I'm negative, and loathe the world.
    had my love affairs with pot already.

    unfortunately my current job does drug testing so i had to quit for good.

    it would temporarily mellow me out. for an hour or two. in the long term it made me fuckin crazy and delusional cuz i smoked so much. its been known to cause anger issues

  8. #38
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    I tend to smoke pot perhaps once a month, when I'm home, and alone, before I go to bed at night. When I wake up the day after, I wake up smiling; Not high, just smiling. Smoking pot while I'm outside of my home (comfort zone) can cause paranoia for me.

    I think that the people we are is an outcome of our past experiences from adolescence to younger childhood; So I don't think you're a sinner (personal opinion).

    I'm not the kindest person in the world, I'm just the laziest, and I dislike confrontation and heated discussions that can lead to anger. Stress is my trigger. So I'm probably the most mellow person I know. Come to think of it, I probably shouldn't smoke pot because people think I'm on enough pot as it is.

    Edit: Sorry I ninja-edited it.

  9. #39
    Senior Member Abstract Thinker's Avatar
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    In my experience, pot amplifies what you're already feeling. If your life is cool, then you have a mellow and fun high. If your life is not cool, for whatever reason, then you "worry about whole new things," as a pothead BFF of mine used to say.

    Anyway, to the OP...

    Start off simple... be nice to people.

    Just ask yourself, when you're interacting with someone... "Am I treating this person how I would want to be treated if I were in his or her shoes?, and in this situation?"

    Don't take any shit from people, just treat them with respect, at least until they prove they aren't worthy of it. Then in that case, just leave. Be better than that and remove yourself.

    Give it a try.

    I know this might seem idealistic, but it's a simple start that you can control.

  10. #40
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    Oh, I endulge myself with some classical Family Guy before I fall asleep. Makes me laugh a bit, makes me think Seth McFarlane is God, makes me feel like I am God... and then... good night.

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