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  1. #11
    Senior Member Vamp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by themarlins View Post
    i'm entp sx7w8. i'm a renegade. im a bad person. ive done some terrible things in my life. ive hurt people. ive used people. ive been mean to some people. ive been anti social. i'm overly critical.

    I just want to be a nicer person. It feels SO hard for me to just conform and be co-operative. I always want to rebel. I always want to cause trouble. I dont know why I feel that way.

    I feel like an asshole. Can I ever be forgiven for my sins? How can I turn it around and be more positive?

    I actually used to take pride in being an outlaw. But I'm truly unhappy right now. I've been in trouble with the law and lost alot. I feel like there isnt much hope. I see NFs who are happy go lucky and always optimistic. I see them getting along with everyone. I envy those things and want to be like that. What can I do with myself? How can I be a better person who fits into society? How can I get along better with others and make more friends?
    Seek out professional help if you haven't already and actively try to change. A message board is a poor substitute. Do no harm.
    George Bernard Shaw in cartoon form.

  2. #12
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    Yeah, I think you need a professional - this kind of "hardening" you speak of may be a personality disorder that is the result of your childhood. It's great that you're aware of it and want to change, but because of your life experiences you may not be able to overcome this by yourself. Please see a counselor of some type.

  3. #13
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    i dont think its a personality disorder.

    its the way i was raised. my life experience.

    why did i post this in the nf forum? because nfs are the only ones irl who have made me feel different and brought something out of me. its hard to describe. i dig your style.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by themarlins View Post
    i dont think its a personality disorder.

    its the way i was raised. my life experience.

    why did i post this in the nf forum? because nfs are the only ones irl who have made me feel different and brought something out of me. its hard to describe. i dig your style.
    Personality disorders usually come from the way you were raised and childhood experiences. It does not involve having any sort of chemical imbalance.

    But, anyway, good luck with everything.

  5. #15
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    Im in love with an ENTP who once had the "thug mentality", Im proud to say that I somewhat tamed the lion . We both learned a lot from each other people can change if they really want to. His child hood was crazy, and he didnt really learn how to deal with people from his parents, he was on the streets for a long time, and very rebellious and self destructive. If I were you I would move out of town, far away and surround yourself around new people, maybe even go to school (thats what he did after he got out of LA County). If you cant move at least ditch the negative people in your life. Or maybe fall in love with an NF chick . He is still an asshole every now and then, but deep down he is truly good to me and his friends. Hes toned it down BIG TIME from when we first met. Whiskey was part of the problem in the beginning, so he stays away from that. Anyway we have been together for 4 years now. Like I said earlier people can change if they want to! Its still a work in progress but hes changed a lot. I love him <3! Blah Blah Blah I talk to much. Hope everything turns around for you eventually

  6. #16
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    You'll need to feel sadness before becoming better. Don't try acting a way you can't act (nice), but instead try stopping yourself from doing or saying things you have the notion are bad to others. Just don't say anything when you would normally say a bad thing. Practice that self-control. Isolate yourself.

    You'll start feeling like shit. But it will make you understand other's pain better, create empathy and put your methods into perspective. Sadness will heal you. Slowly but surely. And by sadness I don't mean anger. Anger is not good.


    But yeah, go to a psychologist. They might help you somewhat too.


    And like someone else said don't take the religion route. You don't have to believe in an imaginary entity to be a better person.

  7. #17
    facettes de la petite mor Words of Ivory's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by themarlins View Post
    I just want to be a nicer person. It feels SO hard for me to just conform and be co-operative. I always want to rebel. I always want to cause trouble. I dont know why I feel that way.
    It's nothing to do with conforming, mate. If you know your actions to be wrong, simply do not do them.

    I know it sounds like a cop-out answer, but it's the truth. Just don't do the things you know in your head are wrong. If you think your actions are immoral, that should be all you need to not act on them.

    Here's the important question... what has motivated you to use people in the first place? Answer that, and you have a good place to start thinking forward from.

    Oh jeez, an INFJ giving life lessons to an ENTP. I'm living the stereotype!

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    "Life calls out the meaning of pure jubilance,
    if you'll only take the time to hear it."
    ~ Words of Ivory ~

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    You'll need to feel sadness before becoming better. Don't try acting a way you can't act (nice), but instead try stopping yourself from doing or saying things you have the notion are bad to others. Just don't say anything when you would normally say a bad thing. Practice that self-control. Isolate yourself.

    You'll start feeling like shit. But it will make you understand other's pain better, create empathy and put your methods into perspective. Sadness will heal you. Slowly but surely. And by sadness I don't mean anger. Anger is not good.


    But yeah, go to a psychologist. They might help you somewhat too.


    And like someone else said don't take the religion route. You don't have to believe in an imaginary entity to be a better person.
    i completely agree with Sytpg & this is the path i would reccommend to you as well. just try to do nothing for a while. don't worry about doing good . . . just don't do any bad . . . so do nothing. go inward. check out taoism & buddhism books (whatever speaks to you) . . . and BE with your pain. do not flee from it . . . and try to write / journal . . . just free flow . . . stream of consciousness style in order to help you to reflect / or FEEL. you have so much power over yourself / over your brain / over your thinking . . . you just have to work at it . . . hang in there

  9. #19
    Senior Member toast's Avatar
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    No way can you do or have what you are wanting without caring about someone else. No way. That's your first goal. If people tell you to look at yourself and work on yourself, but you have no one and nothing because you've set up your life so you have nothing to lose, it won't do any good in my opinion. You're going to get tired of caring how you are again and give up. Get a pet first or something, but dedicate yourself to someone or something.
    ____________________________________________
    "In my soul rages a battle without victor. Between faith without proof and reason without charm." - Sully Prudhomme

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Words of Ivory View Post
    Here's the important question... what has motivated you to use people in the first place?
    Sex.

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