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  1. #1
    Senior Member Desperado44's Avatar
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    Default ENFJ's GEt Used A Lot

    I'm coming to the conclusion that ENFJ's......even those with healthy boundaries, etc.........seem to get used a lot.

    Has anyone else noticed that?

    Whether its in a romantic relationship or in some other form......I just notice that we ENFJ's seem to get used by people, taken for granted, etc.....
    I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. --- Maya Angelou

  2. #2
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    Used.. depending.
    Taken for granted - Definitely.
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


    .:: DWTWD ::.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

  3. #3
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    Default

    It's the other way around.

  4. #4
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ajblaise View Post
    It's the other way around.

    The moment I saw the title I knew that this thread contains this comment.


    As for the thread I think that this depends on how much EJ they are. (if they are not total Fs)

  5. #5
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ajblaise View Post
    It's the other way around.
    :hisses: :threatens with claws: I'll eat you alive, panda-bear.
    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    The moment I saw the title I knew that this thread contains this comment.
    Shaddup you.
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


    .:: DWTWD ::.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

  6. #6
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unkindloving View Post

    Shaddup you.

    Whst is the matter ? You feel used ?

  7. #7
    Senior Member Desperado44's Avatar
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    Default

    I've been thinking about it for years. Its not a knee jerk statement....and NO.....no way in hell is it the other way around.

    I'm probably a little older than most on this site....at 42, a failed marriage, etc...... I've definitely come to the conclusion that ENFJ's are sought by many.... but only use and discard. They love the attention, the generosity, the genuine concern. But they rarely return it.

    It gets passed off as dysfunction or choosing bad 'women/men'..... but its more than that. Its tangible...... if you're a genuine person, you're going to get used up.... 'thanks for being a friend' .... and get almost nothing in return.
    I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. --- Maya Angelou

  8. #8
    Senior Member Desperado44's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    The moment I saw the title I knew that this thread contains this comment.


    As for the thread I think that this depends on how much EJ they are. (if they are not total Fs)
    Can you expand on that thought Antisocial? No one is going to believe this, but I scored a 20-0 on the F....so you could say I'm all F
    I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. --- Maya Angelou

  9. #9
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Desperado44 View Post
    Can you expand on that thought Antisocial? No one is going to believe this, but I scored a 20-0 on the F....so you could say I'm all F
    Hardly a suprise.

    Well all people that have very strong F side cursed to being used. This is simply they way you operate. You desperatly want to help people so others have only two options.

    1. They can accept your help (which could actually be useful)
    2. Reject your help and hurt your feelings / make your fear useless.


    However since most people are socially aware they will chose option number 1(especially if you two know eachother for some time). If nothing just not hurt you. I mean they already have one problem so they don't need another one.

    You can even use math here.

    Scenario 1
    -1+1=0

    Scenario 2
    -1-1=--2

    Which means that it is obvious that scenario 1 is basicly much better choice.

    However at one point the problem will be solved and the person will not need you anymore. So if they are not totally into you they will step back and create a distance. Especially if they never planned to get you deeply involved.

    What in the end creates the imperssion that you were used.
    In some cases people probaby trully use you but I am pretty sure in a fair amount of cases the extreme Fs are the ones that are making .... lets call it a mistake.


    Of course this is pretty simplistic / black and white explanation.

  10. #10
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    Personally, I seem to have trouble with Fi users. They always seem unaware of what i have to offer and misconstrue it so i end up being taken for granted. I'm also pretty abrasive so i don't think they can read between the lines in the necessary way. INFPs have been on the fence with me and can go either way due to their "everyone is an individual" approach.

    I've adopted the mantra of "I am my own ENFJ" because no one else really gives back as hard and as appropriately (to us, at least). Other ENFJs can come exceptionally close, but we're all still guarded to each other and intense in our own separate ways.
    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    Whst is the matter ? You feel used ?
    Yes, you using user!
    Though i can certainly see why that sentiment would be obvious lol.
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


    .:: DWTWD ::.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

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