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  1. #31
    ..... Intricate Mystic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Desperado44 View Post
    I've been thinking about it for years. Its not a knee jerk statement....and NO.....no way in hell is it the other way around.

    I'm probably a little older than most on this site....at 42, a failed marriage, etc...... I've definitely come to the conclusion that ENFJ's are sought by many.... but only use and discard. They love the attention, the generosity, the genuine concern. But they rarely return it.

    It gets passed off as dysfunction or choosing bad 'women/men'..... but its more than that. Its tangible...... if you're a genuine person, you're going to get used up.... 'thanks for being a friend' .... and get almost nothing in return.
    Would you let them return it? Can you make yourself vulnerable enough for others to see what's inside you?

  2. #32
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Intricate Mystic View Post
    Would you let them return it? Can you make yourself vulnerable enough for others to see what's inside you?
    This is a year-old thread, but Desperado, while a nice guy, has a tendency to be attracted to broken, fragile, vulnerable women that need fixing. That is probably largely the problem. :-) Of course they're going to take, take, take.
    Something Witty

  3. #33
    ..... Intricate Mystic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    This is a year-old thread, but Desperado, while a nice guy, has a tendency to be attracted to broken, fragile, vulnerable women that need fixing. That is probably largely the problem. :-) Of course they're going to take, take, take.
    Oops....I somehow managed to overlook the thread date. I've heard other ENFJ guys complain of the problem of giving and giving but nobody taking the time to give back and figure out what they need from their partner in return. So, yes, maybe a lot of them are attracted to women with issues.

  4. #34
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Intricate Mystic View Post
    Oops....I somehow managed to overlook the thread date. I've heard other ENFJ guys complain of the problem of giving and giving but nobody taking the time to give back and figure out what they need from their partner in return. So, yes, maybe a lot of them are attracted to women with issues.
    I think when they're younger, they want a project person. They want someone they can save and by doing so, will have a perfect partner molded and conditioned by them. Or they expend tons of energy and resources to create a perfect world for their partner's happiness and in doing so, sacrifice everything that they want. Of course this only fuels resentment. In the end, the partner still isn't happy, the ENFJ has given up everything (friends, home, hobbies..ect) and end up pissed off and confused. Fortunately they are a little older at this point and realize they need a partner who isn't an emotional/resource/time sucker. Unless they loose the knight in shining armor complex and stop blaming others for taking advantage of them (because they allow it) nothing will change for them.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  5. #35
    Senior Member Lily flower's Avatar
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    Funny, but I feel used by some ENFJ's. They tend to promise a lot, give a lot of words of affirmation, but then the follow through is zero. It's mostly talk. But I'm sure they get used by other people as well. There are good ENFJ's also.

  6. #36
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    I haven't read the OP, but ENFJs collectively use others a lot more than others use them
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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    Sunburst!
    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
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  7. #37
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    I haven't read the OP, but ENFJs collectively use others a lot more than others use them
    I just used this post.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  8. #38
    Senior Member Gish's Avatar
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    spineless people get used a lot.
    Whoops.

  9. #39
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gish View Post
    spineless people get used a lot.
    Bazinga!
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Domino View Post
    Bazinga!
    Sheldon Cooper is oh so sexy, in a sexually ambiguous and emotionally stunted way of course.

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