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Thread: ENFP vs. ENFJ

  1. #1
    Senior Member HotpinkHeatwave's Avatar
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    Default ENFP vs. ENFJ

    What are the major differences between ENFP's and ENFJ's?

    How would any sort of relationship work between an ENFP and ENFJ?

    How do ENFJs see ENFPs?

    How do ENFPs see ENFJs?

    All thoughts/facts on the pair are encouraged.

    Thanks.

  2. #2
    Member CocoB's Avatar
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    Hmmmmm... Great Question!!
    I am a die-hard ENFJ and when i was first intoduced to personalities and the MBTI... I was kind of confused by the ENFJ and ENFP.. i always wondered what the difference was because we seemed so much alike. IMO, there is alot of confusion because we are so close with a little bit of difference. One major difference would obviously be the the P and the J.... The ENFJ will base their feelings off what their final judgement on a matter is; as opposed to the ENFP who will base their feelings upon how they percieve things to be... a small difference but major nontheless.
    "I Guess ii KiLLa-Kill Em.. I Guess ii AM the Villian.... I Park on the Curb, i'm on the Owner of the Buildin" NM

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    Senior Member You's Avatar
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    ENFJ

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vvm0UYZmST4]ENFJ[/youtube]

    ENFP

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wh2TUiCMbYU]ENFP[/youtube]

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    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    ENFPs are individualists and wave their freak flag high. ENFJs are social chameleons and keep their freakery under wraps.
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

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    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Ah, Cusack

    ENFPs have a more random, laidback vibe. ENFJs have a more intense, focused-on-you feeling.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

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    Senior Member gigi_xo's Avatar
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    I know ENFJs who are weirder than I

    despite my ENFP-ness, I shope at abercrombie, was a cheerleader for 2 years, and have grown quite accustomed to the art of social chameleon-ing it
    I live my life for the stars that shine & people say its just a waste of time- Oasis

    Extroverted (E) 65.63% Introverted (I) 34.38%
    Intuitive (N) 89.31% Sensing (S) 10.69%
    Feeling (F) 74.29% Thinking (T) 25.71%
    Perceiving (P) 74.19% Judging (J) 25.81%


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    Senior Member Vamp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    ENFPs are individualists and wave their freak flag high. ENFJs are social chameleons and keep their freakery under wraps.
    I think ENFPs are capable of tailoring themselves to what is "acceptable". I do it a lot.
    George Bernard Shaw in cartoon form.

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    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    ENFPs are individualists and wave their freak flag high. ENFJs are social chameleons and keep their freakery under wraps.
    I love the poetic quality of this statement. And, in a way, it is dead on accurate.

    I think that ENFPs aren't afraid to take risks that might separate them from the group. They tend to be well-liked and have lots of friends. But they are reluctant to be too defined by any group or group think ideas. In this sense, they are social butterflies who like to stand on the sidelines and then flit in and out of the crowd at times of their own choosing.

    ENFJs are far more reluctant to step outside of social norms. They work best with... and are unafraid to drive... social consensus. They are the butterfly that is always in the crowd. And like ENFPs they tend to be well-liked. But, unlike ENFPs they flit among the people always working toward their ENFJ agenda. Very rarely do they sit on the the sidelines.

    Is that a really hoakie analogy? It sort of works for me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    I think ENFPs are capable of tailoring themselves to what is "acceptable". I do it a lot.
    I do this, too. But only when it suits me. I know I always have the option of rocking the boat or bailing on socially acceptable behavior. My impression is that ENFJs are not naturally inclined to rock the boat. Tailoring themselves to what is "acceptable" is not just one of the possible behaviors to choose from. For ENFJs, tailoring themselves to what is "acceptable" is the only realistic choice on the table.

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    Senior Member chris1207's Avatar
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    ENFJ's establish eye-contact when talking more.

    ENFP's tend to look at thin air when their talking to people. It's not because they have a reluctance to establish eye-contact. It's something else...

    An ENFJ's emotional facial expressions and body language follow the emotional climate of the group. They may show encouragement toward you for your enthusiasm concerning a subject that interests you.

    ENFP's tend to just look happy while they talk passionately about whatever interests them. It's a kind, unfocused general emotional air that they have about them.

    ENFJ's have things that we're passionate about too and we'll talk passionately about them but only once we've decided that: Talking about it would be socially acceptable, it's worth impressing our knowledge or interest on others (it'll make the world better), and that we're capable of impressing it on them. Sometimes this leads to confusion on the part of the listener. We'll introduce something that our Ni says they should be interested in but, hearing the passion in our voices, they'll interpret what we say as a declaration of our interest. This can also lead to identity confusion for the ENFJ.

    It's a tough road that could take 10s of years but once an ENFJ has learned how to be independent, we're probably the toughest of all F types. I work customer service and had an irate customer yesterday and after trying to speak sense to her with Ti, I gave her the info she needed, referred to her as an idiot and hung up the phone yesterday! (fucking emotionally manipulative ppl)

    I would also suspect that some info could be gleaned from the comparison of each type with their respective interaction-style group. ENFPs are Expressive and Informative and are similar to ENTPs, ESFP's and ESFJs when it comes to the way they interact with others (...according to Linda Berens) and ENFJs are part of the Expressive and Directive (ENTJ, ESTJ, ESTP) group.
    "... you think deeply about stuff [that] nobody cares about and hardly anybody can understand you." ~ Peguy talking about Ni users. So true.

  10. #10
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    I love the poetic quality of this statement. And, in a way, it is dead on accurate.

    I think that ENFPs aren't afraid to take risks that might separate them from the group. They tend to be well-liked and have lots of friends. But they are reluctant to be too defined by any group or group think ideas. In this sense, they are social butterflies who like to stand on the sidelines and then flit in and out of the crowd at times of their own choosing.

    ENFJs are far more reluctant to step outside of social norms. They work best with... and are unafraid to drive... social consensus. They are the butterfly that is always in the crowd. And like ENFPs they tend to be well-liked. But, unlike ENFPs they flit among the people always working toward their ENFJ agenda. Very rarely do they sit on the the sidelines.

    Is that a really hoakie analogy? It sort of works for me.



    I do this, too. But only when it suits me. I know I always have the option of rocking the boat or bailing on socially acceptable behavior. My impression is that ENFJs are not naturally inclined to rock the boat. Tailoring themselves to what is "acceptable" is not just one of the possible behaviors to choose from. For ENFJs, tailoring themselves to what is "acceptable" is the only realistic choice on the table.
    Reading posts like this reminds me why I've ceased responding to threads asking for what Fe is or how it operates. Fe is so often conceptually parred down to a lack of thought outside of what The Hive says to think or what is socially acceptable, fearing being thrown out of the city gates or having to stand alone. I don't doubt there are ENFJs (and ESFJs) like this, but I also question people's ability to accurately recognize those who aren't without mistyping them as something else. I interpret this post as painting ENFJs with the same brush; basically molds of whatever society tells them to be while ENFPs paint themselves as being these dynamic individuals that are so different from each other and taking stands for what's right and true regardless of the consequences. You guys are obviously superheroes!

    At my job it was an ESFJ who advocated and championed updating several of our HR policies, especially the maternal and paternal leave policies to include people that have adopted a child as well as domestic partners. I know people were afraid to put their necks out there and criticize leadership at my organization for not doing it but she wasn't. It was also an ESFJ male at my job who started our monthly Diversity Lunches. I know people often scoff at things like this as being PC, instead of looking at them as platforms for people to speak openly and freely about issues that they wouldn't ordinarily get to speak about over the course of the day with people you work with 40+ hours per week.

    People tend to overlook these aspects of the of Fe, what it means to truly commune with others, create spaces and places to facilitate sharing and openness. And yeah, you do need to do this through a shared "language" that most people can agree on what gestures and symbols indicate. A hug means this, a pat on the back means that, gathering in a circle means this. Whatever that group has decided its language and expression of that language will be it does need to be codified and spread in some way and enough people have to agree to the meaning of that language for it to take root.

    I think a major difference between ENFPs and ENFJs that I can observe is this tendency to want to create a sense of community with others. No matter what anybody says to the contrary, I know that people want to belong to something. No matter how fringe or socially un/acceptable (:rolli it is, people want the platform available to commune with others who share their worldview. If you're comparing ENFPs to ENFJs in this particular instance I think ENFJs are more likely to be the ones to create the space for people to get together and actively sustain and cultivate it.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

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