User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 22

  1. #1
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    2,532

    Default ENFJ: Friendly vs. Flirty

    I get accused of flirting and even cheating when I’m NOT! Just because I’m friendly and nice to people doesn’t mean I’m going to jump in to bed with them. I treat guys the same way I treat girls, with respect…we are all human beings. I get to know people for who they really are, I care about people, and I’m not rude.

    If guys try to hit on me when I’m not single, I tell them the truth, "sorry I have a boyfriend". I’m no idiot, I don’t give my number out to new people when I’m in a relationship. I know what is inappropriate. I’m not slutty at all…don’t look it and don’t act like it, not it period. I’m the kind of girl that makes a guy wait a long time…they must earn it! lol.

    What am I supposed to do, not be nice to people of the opposite sex? Am I supposed to shew them away and say “hey I’m not allowed to talk to you because you’re a guy and I’m a lady”? Is it impossible for mature adults to have interesting or fun conversation? I dont think so...

    LAME!

    Thanks for hearing me rant….

  2. #2
    Member CocoB's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    34

    Default

    GIRL!! I feel you on this one LoL!!

    I think it is just in us, especially us being female ENFJ's... It is quite funny though. When i think i am being friendly, most people view it as flirting. I mean, it has gotten to the point where i have no more male friends because they have all taken an interest in me!! And, if i make new ones.. it's only a couple of weeks or months before they end up liking me BIG TIME!! Even when i tell them i'm in a relationship or i'm just not interested in them in that way... I can still feel the TENSION in the air.. making it so akward!! Although, i will be completely honest.. I now have a better control over it and can realize what i am doing it when i am doing it. Because of my Fe, i can feel the change in someone's feelings; especially towards me. If i like the person, than i will continue my behavior and reel them IN!!

    iF not, than i will stop all behavior and probably stop all contact depending on how serious the person is. I just think that since we a are big "people people" it is in our nature to focus our attention on other's... i don't think we mean to "flirt" but that is how it comes across.. and certain individuals don't like it and become jealous.. and automatically assume that we "like everyone" or "we're doing it on purpose"... But, really it's just our natural charm
    "I Guess ii KiLLa-Kill Em.. I Guess ii AM the Villian.... I Park on the Curb, i'm on the Owner of the Buildin" NM

  3. #3
    No Cigar Litvyak's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    1,787

    Default

    There's a fine line between flirty and hostile, and a difference between a) being overly friendly and playful and b) having an interesting or fun conversation. People don't accuse you of being flirty without a reason. If it bothers you (I assume it does), you should tone it down.

    "That's just the way I am" is still not a legitimate reason for any behavior. Change the way you are, then. Of course, you always have the option to not give a fuck about what others say.

  4. #4
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Socionics
    ENFj
    Posts
    2,900

    Default

    When i'm single, i have this problem. I prefer talking to males and tend to connect with them on a better level than females. Also, i am very adamant and encouraging when i consider someone a good friend of mine. A lot of people mistake this for being honestly interested in them, regardless of how much i warn or explain what makes me tick.
    I'll admit, there have been a few times where i haven't made my intentions clear and i can't complain about those. The majority of times have been when i make myself very clear and being helpful gets taken differently, especially with exes. Obviously, if they can't understand that part of my basis is to be civil and helpful at times, then we have/had no business being together .

    When in a relationship, i shut it off as best i can. I'll still express concern and interact, but my frequently used phrase is "I have a boyfriend, i'm solid". It's our fault in a number of cases, but in others it is the fault of people not being able to accept any warnings we give them or brick walls we put up. I've had people battle me on my interest in them and have had to share some pretty nasty thoughts that still didn't get them off of my back.

    We may be too expressive and it can send out mixed signals, but people can also be too susceptible and oblivious.
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


    .:: DWTWD ::.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

  5. #5
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    135 so/sp
    Posts
    8,697

    Default

    When I was in school there was this one girl in my class that was almost certainly an ENFJ. (maybe ESFJ)

    Anyway 50% of the boys drooled just be watching her and another 50% find her attractive. Especially since she was technically the first girl that got boobs. (and they got large with time actually).

    Anyway I think she was pretty uncomfortable with all of that. But she played her role and she played it quite well actually.

  6. #6
    Member CocoB's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    34

    Default

    You see... I LOVE being an ENFJ... ROFL!!
    "I Guess ii KiLLa-Kill Em.. I Guess ii AM the Villian.... I Park on the Curb, i'm on the Owner of the Buildin" NM

  7. #7
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    2,532

    Default

    Me too, it's just hard being a girl I guess . Thanks for the input guys n gals, I guess I should be not as outgoing.

  8. #8
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    117

    Default

    One of the more annoying things about ENFJ's ime.

  9. #9
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    2w3 so/sx
    Posts
    1,273

    Default

    You know you want this Marlins. Unless you're a dude, then you want them, hopefully. :X

  10. #10
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    2,532

    Default

    I admit some people probably think im annoying and thats fine....I know im still growing as a person, Ive got mad things I could improve on personality wise.

Similar Threads

  1. Possibly Suicidal ENFJ Friend
    By Mempy in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 35
    Last Post: 01-24-2008, 07:28 PM
  2. [ENFJ] My crazy ENFJ friend
    By swordpath in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 01-09-2008, 11:28 AM
  3. Help with my ENFJ friend
    By Tigerlily in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 01-05-2008, 05:19 PM
  4. [ENFJ] NT with Announcement to Share about ENFJ Friend :)
    By Usehername in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 11-24-2007, 03:07 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO