Okay...what I'm observing here now is that your gf (and apparently a bunch of people who are replying to this thread) have a word-based love language.
I think this is what this all boils down to.
I, for one, do not. I think actions speak louder than words - my love languages are like touch/affection and acts of service - so if someone talks shit to me I can brush it off, and it's also probably why I can be so verbally harsh without thinking twice. One of the biggest lessons I've learned in life is that EVERYBODY says shit they don't mean.
However, since words are so important to your gf, this is really bugging her on some profound level. Which apparently means you can only fix it with words - like "I love you" and "you mean a lot to me" etc.
That's all I can gather from this mess, because for the life of me I couldn't figure out why all of these ENFPs were doing what I perceive as overreacting to something very, very minor and within the range of normal.