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  1. #211
    Senior Member fecaleagle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toast View Post
    I feel like a huge bitch rereading that. He did make an effort and it sounds like a lot. I'm just wondering if he's asked her direct questions like: "what do you need from me to feel like I am really happy with you?" or "Can we start over?" or even "When can I come see you?" Maybe she's not seeing him 'cause she's afraid she'll get that 'weak in the knees, disarmed and spun around' thing T guys can give you when you're physically with them... especially if the sexual chemistry is good. But if he really means well and wants her couldn't disarming her like that be a potentially good thing? I'd try it.
    The other night she said she was feeling sad. And I said I'm so sorry that I've done this to you, is there ANYTHING I can do to fix it or make you feel better? She said no....I asked are you sure....she said well if I think of something I'll let you know. I am so confused, given all of these ridiculous misinterpretations/judgments that she has made in the past, and never sought to resolve them. I feel like it built a resentment for me, while the whole time my intentions were to be an awesome bf and make her happy. It's ridiculous how wrong she is about every single issue that she has brought up from the past out of nowhere. You don't hold those issues in, and tell me that I'm an awesome bf and how you appreciate me, the week before all of this mess started.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  2. #212
    Senior Member toast's Avatar
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    I must have missed that she directly said "no contact." If that's the case I would have no idea what to tell you, because my natural reaction would probably seem absurd and completely irrational.
    ____________________________________________
    "In my soul rages a battle without victor. Between faith without proof and reason without charm." - Sully Prudhomme

  3. #213
    Senior Member fecaleagle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toast View Post
    I must have missed that she directly said "no contact." If that's the case I would have no idea what to tell you, because my natural reaction would probably seem absurd and completely irrational.
    I mean I would've loved more than anything to be able to go see her and hold her, touch her, look into her eyes. I believe I even mentioned that in a text. You can tell so much about another person's intentions and desires by doing all of this. NOT by texting/emailing/phone calls. If she thought it could save the relationship, wouldn't she have hinted at it? I guess I'm just oblivious to these kind of things, doesn't make my love and devotion any less pure. I just need a more direct form of communication, I AM an INTJ, NOT an ENFP.

    But if he really means well and wants her couldn't disarming her like that be a potentially good thing?
    Exactly. I've been wondering why she didn't want to give us that chance. AGAIN, more reason to back my "other guy" theory
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #214
    A window to the soul
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    -stays and reaches for popcorn-

  5. #215
    Senior Member toast's Avatar
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    Oh, and that last thing you said about the "Im sad" sounds like mind games going a bit into bordline (BPD) land... Either she has some issues outside of type or there is some serious communication problem, like she is looking for you to say/do something specific but won't directly tell you. (To an NF that means it would have meaning if you did it on your own but not otherwise. 'Tis one of our common vices in immaturity or insecurity.) Just do what you wanna do. It sounds like this has become "toxic."
    ____________________________________________
    "In my soul rages a battle without victor. Between faith without proof and reason without charm." - Sully Prudhomme

  6. #216
    THIS bitch stringstheory's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fecaleagle View Post
    I just need a more direct form of communication, I AM an INTJ, NOT an ENFP.
    This is really the issue here; you can love someone more than anything, but that doesn't always mean a relationship will work out. it might help inspire one to put more effort into fixing communications, but at the end of the day sometimes it's best to just walk away having learned something that will help you find another person with whom you can actually COMMUNICATE and who you love just as much. I'm going to disagree with others and say you did the right thing. It doesn't mean i still don't see the validity and/or "rightness" of some of the things on her side of the issue and that I do really empathize her, i just think both of you need someone on similar levels of communication.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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  7. #217
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    Quote Originally Posted by stringstheory View Post
    I'm going to disagree with others and say you did the right thing.


    -crickets-

  8. #218
    Senior Member toast's Avatar
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    I can't say what the "right thing" is, but if my goal was to get her back, I'd have ravished her.
    ____________________________________________
    "In my soul rages a battle without victor. Between faith without proof and reason without charm." - Sully Prudhomme

  9. #219
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    Quote Originally Posted by toast View Post
    I can't say what the "right thing" is, but if my goal was to get her back, I'd have ravished her.
    ^

  10. #220
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    If she's really ENFP, then you, the INTJ, are probably not supposed to be so far-sighted. You're not supposed to make projections about what any future relationship looks like now that you've seen how unreliable she can be. You are, instead, supposed to go back over all manner of past events. You're supposed to rely on past feeling to bolster present feeling. You're supposed to want it back. You're supposed to worry considerably about the future if it cannot be as it was in the past. And you're supposed to show all of that to her in a way that makes it all look like a rock she can trust to always lean on, assuming she is inclined to lean. And then she will tell *you* about the future.
    Bellison uncorked a flood of horrible profanity, which, translated, meant, "This is extremely unusual."

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