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  1. #101
    THIS bitch stringstheory's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fecaleagle View Post
    I have been studying Satine's post, along with the other helpful ones. I have learned so much from this thread in such a short period of time, I should have come here earlier. I feel like by not doing so, I was not being the best boyfriend I could be I've just been mentally preoccupied I guess and neglected both of our emotions in the relationship, which I will never do again. That's the good thing about many INTJs We don't really repeat mistakes once we figure out why we made them and why they were wrong, plus we are fast learners. I now fully understand that there is absolutely no objectivity when it comes to feeling. I feel foolish about trying to convince myself otherwise. I seriously hope my gf doesn't think I was trying to belittle her feelings. She has every right to have them, and they are just as valid as my logic. I surely hope that they can withstand the abuse that I put them through, and am content with either result because I lit the match on the fire. I hope she can trust me not only the same, but even more in the future and let her emotional guard down. I want to be able to do anything I can to take her inner sadness away. I hope she can put away all of the smiles and expose herself to me once again because I want to help her with all of her problems, either directly or indirectly by helping her grow. I feel emotionally confused right now :-/
    Now that you feel like you understand her side of things a little more, use your strengths to come up with a solution. You INTJs are great problem solvers I know how instability can throw you off so instead of lingering in that emotional confusion, try investing that energy into coming up with ways for you guys to get back on track. I don't know how much you guys talk right now, but when she is ready have a talk find out what steps you can take to make things right (and of course express your side of things as well).

    If she wants to talk, be prepared for her to either have to get back to you or to not be as articulate as you'd hoped. You said her Te is developing, so that's good, I just know this is usually the case with me. I need to spend a lot of time alone with my Te to make my Fi more concrete, if that makes sense. If that's the case just think of us as a big puzzle that's just waiting to be solved

    I think you were being the best boyfriend you could be considering what you were going through. Remember, you weren't in the best state of mind, and you still got here anyway. Your posts make it clear you want to make this relationship work. Wouldn't you say you're doing your best? I think if you guys get through rough patch, your girlfriend would be able to say so.

    I wish you luck
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  2. #102
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    yeah that fi processing is like thinking in shades of color you've not necessarily heard the names of before so you have to think on it...te it up so you can verbalize it to someone else.

    or...it feels something like that to me.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  3. #103
    Senior Member Ratsimoan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    This parent/child relationship between male ITJs and ENFPs chicks is getting sicker and sicker by the day. ENFP chicks are either naive or sick themselves to consistently fall for all this hidden condescendence.
    I can't believe my own personality type would say something so mean about their own personality mate. You can't make a generalization about all enfp females because one enfp female is dating one intj male.
    [SIGPIC] [/SIGPIC]

    Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no to-morrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace."
    — Sylvia Plath (The Bell Jar)

    "Remember, remember, this is now, and now, and now. Live it, feel it, cling to it. I want to become acutely aware of all I’ve taken for granted."
    — Sylvia Plath

  4. #104
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    it was kinda mean yep. :/
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  5. #105
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ratsimoan View Post
    I can't believe my own personality type would say something so mean about their own personality mate. You can't make a generalization about all enfp females because one enfp female is dating one intj male.
    Some people don't realize that it is a two way street.

    If it wasn't, the combo wouldn't be so strong.
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

  6. #106
    Senior Member Ratsimoan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    it was kinda mean yep. :/
    Thank you I thought I was alone
    [SIGPIC] [/SIGPIC]

    Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no to-morrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace."
    — Sylvia Plath (The Bell Jar)

    "Remember, remember, this is now, and now, and now. Live it, feel it, cling to it. I want to become acutely aware of all I’ve taken for granted."
    — Sylvia Plath

  7. #107
    Senior Member Ratsimoan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metamorphosis View Post
    Some people don't realize that it is a two way street.

    If it wasn't, the combo wouldn't be so strong.

    Yes
    [SIGPIC] [/SIGPIC]

    Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no to-morrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace."
    — Sylvia Plath (The Bell Jar)

    "Remember, remember, this is now, and now, and now. Live it, feel it, cling to it. I want to become acutely aware of all I’ve taken for granted."
    — Sylvia Plath

  8. #108
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ratsimoan View Post
    I can't believe my own personality type would say something so mean about their own personality mate. You can't make a generalization about all enfp females because one enfp female is dating one intj male.
    Grow a fucking pair. Mean??

    And I wasn't making a generalization based on this episode, but based on several examples I've read on this very forum for months (years almost) now.

    I'm not saying every ENFP chick is like this, but it's a pattern I've noticed. And I have no allegiance with my own type when it's something I don't like. And I don't like it because I see the ENFPs suffering a lot of the time. Although the ITJs suffer too of course depending on the case.

    Don't try to demonize me Ratsimoan. Take it objectively from someone who is also an ENFP. If ENFPs don't strive to point out other ENFP's weaknesses then there is NO ONE who can get the ENFP to hear them. Because we all know how ENFPs take criticism...

    Guess my logic fails though, because ENFPs don't like to hear it from me either. But obviously I'm a dick, so my comments can be shrugged off real easy.

  9. #109
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    Take it objectively from someone who is also an ENFP. If ENFPs don't strive to point out other ENFP's weaknesses then there is NO ONE who can get the ENFP to hear them. Because we all know how ENFPs take criticism...

    Guess my logic fails though, because ENFPs don't like to hear it from me either. But obviously I'm a dick, so my comments can be shrugged off real easy.
    This thread totally backs up the point you're making here, too.

  10. #110
    THIS bitch stringstheory's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    But obviously I'm a dick, so my comments can be shrugged off real easy.
    Well, they do say you attract more flies with honey than you do with vinegar
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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