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View Poll Results: NF women - do you want children?

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  • I'm ENFJ - I want/have children

    1 1.05%
  • I'm ENFJ - I do NOT want children

    3 3.16%
  • I'm INFJ - I want/have children

    23 24.21%
  • I'm INFJ - I do NOT want children

    5 5.26%
  • I'm ENFP - I want/have children

    11 11.58%
  • I'm ENFP - I do NOT want children

    4 4.21%
  • I'm INFP - I want/have children

    15 15.79%
  • I'm INFP - I do NOT want children

    8 8.42%
  • I'm not NF

    6 6.32%
  • I'm not a female

    12 12.63%
  • I don't know yet or any other answer that's not in the poll

    7 7.37%
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Results 61 to 70 of 78

  1. #61
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    I always had the "strong enough of an innate desire for children", even as a child. I always knew I'll have kids. And now, I do have 3 kids. I think it's so deeply built in me, the need to have children, that there were other option for me. It is in my genes or in my soul or wherever.

  2. #62
    Senior Member Chunes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yourfriendjaneen View Post
    No kids for me...I feel mean saying this but I dont want to bring a child up in this fuc*ed up / over populated world, I feel like its selfish (no offense moms and dads). I might consider adopting when I am more established.
    If you think about it it's not selfish until you have more than 2. Possibly more if they were had by different partners. One couple can have 2 kids which maintains a 0% growth rate assuming they both survive. Personally, I think we need a negative growth rate in most areas, but I'll be happy with just getting to zero first.
    "If you would convince a man that he does wrong, do right. But do not care to convince him. Men will believe what they see. Let them see."
    Thoreau

  3. #63
    Senior Member Liesl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chunes View Post
    If you think about it it's not selfish until you have more than 2. Possibly more if they were had by different partners. One couple can have 2 kids which maintains a 0% growth rate assuming they both survive. Personally, I think we need a negative growth rate in most areas, but I'll be happy with just getting to zero first.
    You're assuming that everyone is going to have children. If Adults X, Y, and Z live in the same community, and Adult X chooses not to have children. Then Adults Y and Z can have three children and maintain the 'zero percent growth rate' that you are speaking of.

    Anyway, I would never call someone 'selfish' for choosing to have children unless they didn't have the intention of providing them with the financial, material, and emotional resources that the children would need. Although some parents do anticipate that they can provide these resources and end up being unable to...and that's not selfish, that's just sad and tragic. There's my two cents.

  4. #64
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    Always wanted kids and am currently expecting.

  5. #65
    THIS bitch stringstheory's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yourfriendjaneen View Post
    No kids for me...I feel mean saying this but I dont want to bring a child up in this fuc*ed up / over populated world, I feel like its selfish (no offense moms and dads). I might consider adopting when I am more established.
    Not sure how i missed this before, but this is another big factor for me. i'm not sure i'd call it selfish, though i really don't know what to call it to be honest. the increasing disillusionment i'm finding with humans (as a species, i love people) keeps nagging at me. it's kind of a difficult contradiction to come to terms with. in a world such as this i would personally find it more satisfying and beneficial to try and work towards improving the condition of life that currently exists, not to create new life in order to establish my own happy familial unit. plus i'm fucked up as it is, does the world really need MORE of me?

    adopting will likely be the way to go for me, if i end up deciding i want children.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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  6. #66
    Member Ethelred the Unready's Avatar
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    I've always known I don't want to have children and I'm not going to have any. I just don't really like them and I think I'll be a horrible mother. So why bring suffering upon myself and some poor kiddie?
    We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull; some have weird names and all are different colours, but they all have to live in the same box.

  7. #67
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    I voted for not wanting kids. I don't have a maternal bone in my body and I'm not even in an LTR. However, I could imagine that if I were in a loving marriage the maternal desire might arise. I think my mom was somewhat similar from what she told me. She's not exactly a child person and said she hadn't thought much about kids before she got married. But after a few years of marriage both she and my dad wanted kids. (Not sure how he felt about it from the outset.)
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  8. #68
    meinmeinmein! mmhmm's Avatar
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    i haven't met anyone i'd like to have kids with. or feel they're the kind
    of partner i'd like to raise my kids with. so i don't know. i think if i was
    ready to do it on my own, not having a man wouldn't stop me. but
    i just never think about it.
    every normal man must be tempted, at times,
    to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag,
    and begin slitting throats.
    h.l. mencken

  9. #69
    Senior Member tibby's Avatar
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    One day, yep. It doesn't have to mean having biological children though.

  10. #70

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    I want to be a mother, but I'm willing to wait until I feel the time is right, even if that means I never do in the end. I will not sacrifice optimal circumstances for all involved on a selfish or desperate whim.

    I would try very, very hard to be a good mother and learn from the mistakes and successes of others and myself. In order for any of this to happen, I have to find the right person, and that just hasn't happened yet.

    Till then, I have my dog and she is definitely a prelude to parenting.
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

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