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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mister Eyebrows View Post
    what about when their false perceptions actually affect you

    e.g. a boss who doesn't give you the benefit of the doubt
    There was nothing absolute in my post.. Words like perhaps should be indicitive of this.
    I am only offering a nugget of thought, not force feeding it.

    Of course every situation brings it's own dynamics.

  2. #22
    Junior Member alexshippee's Avatar
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    I hate it when people criticize me. I don't really know why, but I get really embarrassed. And then I can't stop thinking about it. Even days after the fact I'll get embarrassed just remembering it.
    Also, If someone makes a personal comment like, "oh, your hair looks bad that way," I'll wonder if everyone thinks that and get very self conscious for days.

  3. #23
    Senior Member durentu's Avatar
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    This is my thinking process.

    "People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds; it is something one creates." - Thomas Szasz

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arclight View Post
    There was nothing absolute in my post.. Words like perhaps should be indicitive of this.
    I am only offering a nugget of thought, not force feeding it.

    Of course every situation brings it's own dynamics.
    This is how he deals with criticism.

  5. #25
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    How to Deal with Criticism:

    (1) Consider the source. Is this person qualified to be critical of your work/efforts/behavior/etc.?

    (2) Are they being excessively negative? Many immature people lacking self confidence will attempt to dump on the efforts of others in order to try and make themselves feel better.

    (3) Regardless of the quality of their commentary, look for the parts of it that actually do afford you an opportunity to improve.

    (4) If needed, in your mind, imagine telling the person to go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut if they begin to get on your nerves.

    (5) Listen, reflect, drop baggage, move on. That's all you really need to do. Take it in stride. If you respect yourself, and have confidence in your work, then the criticism of others can only do so much to damper your day.

    It always amazes me how many people are quick to offer "feedback" but are so sorry that they can't come up with any ideas of their own, or create anything significant for others to offer their feedback on. Talk is cheap. What have they done lately that is deserving of praise, or impressive?
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  6. #26
    From the Undertow CuriousFeeling's Avatar
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    "How do you deal with criticism?"

    It depends on the person and how they deliver the message. If it's offered in a very constructive, calm, and cool way, then I can handle it well. If someone shows a sense of condescension, or if the tone of voice sounds irritable about my actions/technique being bothersome to the person , it gets to me. I end up feeling embarrassed and shameful cos I feel that I have the potential to do things well and have good intentions. I get very frustrated. If I know it's coming from someone who is just trying to be a jerk towards me, I ignore them, but if it's someone who I know cares about me (family for instance), I really feel that their criticism is important even.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Johari/Nohari

    “Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings -- always darker, emptier and simpler.”
    ― Friedrich Nietzsche




  7. #27
    Senior Member HollyGolightly's Avatar
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    I don't handle any criticism well. I come across like I do...but inside I feel so wounded. I need to work on this
    "Dad I can't feel my legs."

    "That's because you don't have any arms."

  8. #28
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    It depends. If it's factual, something I did that they can point out was wrong or inaccurate, I apologize and correct the mistake and I don't think twice about it. If it's factual and can be corrected but they catastrophize and act like I ruined their lives and try to shame me, etc., it brings out my defiance. I fix it and then hold a grudge, and I make it my business to get away from that person.

    If it's personal criticism of my character, it depends entirely on whether or not I respect the person, which goes to their motivation. If I know they are well motivated or I know they have a point of view that I respect generally, then I am glad to take criticism from them. If not, it rolls off my back and again, I engineer things so I don't have to be around that person anymore. If for some reason I do have to continue to be around them, they'll at some point get hit between the eyes with their own faults in retaliation and it's gonna hurt. I'm not proud of it but that's the truth of what happens.

    I do tend to ruminate about that kind of thing after the fact. It bothers me intensely.

  9. #29
    Senior Member Quiet's Avatar
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    lol how do I deal with criticism?

    I'm still figuring this one out... I grew up with so much harsh criticism and very little acknowledgement on my goodness, so usually I inicially feel like I have done something bad or wrong and I feel sorrow. I usually feel worried that I have ruined something good between myself and whomever is criticising me, so I stress then that things may not be the same between us. I will try and make up for things, and to look at what I did wrong. In fact I am so uncomfortable with being criticised, that I will do all I can to be as perfect as possible so that nothing goes wrong in the first place.
    "What's Taters, Precious?" --- Gollum.

    "Bring your pretty face, to my axe". --- Gimly.

  10. #30
    Senior Member HollyGolightly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quiet View Post
    lol how do I deal with criticism?

    I'm still figuring this one out... I grew up with so much harsh criticism and very little acknowledgement on my goodness, so usually I inicially feel like I have done something bad or wrong and I feel sorrow. I usually feel worried that I have ruined something good between myself and whomever is criticising me, so I stress then that things may not be the same between us. I will try and make up for things, and to look at what I did wrong. In fact I am so uncomfortable with being criticised, that I will do all I can to be as perfect as possible so that nothing goes wrong in the first place.
    Gosh I could of written this. This is exactly how I feel.
    "Dad I can't feel my legs."

    "That's because you don't have any arms."

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