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  1. #61
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    well hell i'd like to think so...it would make me feel really bad about myself i think if someone i considered a friend really just wanted to have sex with me.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  2. #62
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    I usually take a protective stance with women... I don't find many who avoid wanting to be protected, which I suppose is interesting in some respects.

  3. #63
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    well hell i'd like to think so...it would make me feel really bad about myself i think if someone i considered a friend really just wanted to have sex with me.
    Would it make you feel better if you thought that sex is how men typically feel close to someone? That often talking and relating does not elicit the same feelings of closeness that it might for a woman? A lot of things are how you see them.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  4. #64
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    It's difficult for me to see most women as equals mainly because I don't know many who I respect for their intellect or talents. Respect is how men like one another.
    This is pretty much of what I've always suspected is the main reason many men say that they are not really friends with women.

    I appreciate you being honest about it, as most men skirt around it & deny it.

    This is also possibly why I think Feeling men may be more apt to develop friendships with women that are platonic, and it's because of valuing some kind of emotional connection that doesn't have to be tied to romantic feeling.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  5. #65
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    well hell i'd like to think so...it would make me feel really bad about myself i think if someone i considered a friend really just wanted to have sex with me.
    Don't take that stance automatically. Just remember that it is one of the countless possibilities out there.

  6. #66
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    well in a romantic relationship i get that but in friends? no...because i think it would have to be more of a brother sister dynamic...protective, loving and respectful...not that plus sexual...sexual feelings are too tied into romantic feelings for me that i can't see them separately.

    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Would it make you feel better if you thought that sex is how men typically feel close to someone? That often talking and relating does not elicit the same feelings of closeness that it might for a woman? A lot of things are how you see them.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #67
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    I'm strictly heterosexual.
    I have a high libido.

    But..

    Women are also my primary source of friendship and camaraderie.
    I'm more likely to have conversations (of about any kind) with women.
    I'm more likely to want to do carry out work with them.
    I'm more likely to trust them with private information or personal responsiblity.

    There is no doubt that males are at a disadvantage when it comes to being friends with me. They generally have to put in more for less.

    So clearly this means I have a conscious distinction of men and women in my mind. But the male-female dynamic for me bears little resemblance to Synarch's.

    Everything on this forum is an anecdote...
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  8. #68
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    It just seems that friendships are based on a connection between man and the women, but if men do not actually connect to someone through this mode of communication (talking, finding common interests) then the man is being more friendly then actually creating a friendship. This is what I'm interpreting Synarch's words as.

  9. #69
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    us ne people are totally drowning this thread yo
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  10. #70
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    This is pretty much of what I've always suspected is the main reason many men say that they are not really friends with women.

    I appreciate you being honest about it, as most men skirt around it & deny it.
    Denials by men should perhaps be seen as being motivated by a desire to not insult or hurt you by saying something that might be easily misunderstood. Most men are motivated by goodness. I prefer saying what I mean to the risk of inflicting hurt.

    I can appreciate women for talents that I find completely foreign and baffling. But since these talents and strengths are foreign to me, I find it hard to relate and identify. This is essentially how I admire women... as beings incomprehensible yet compelling. Unfortunately, this incomprehensibility can be a block to identification.

    This is also possibly why I think Feeling men may be more apt to develop friendships with women that are platonic, and it's because of valuing some kind of emotional connection that doesn't have to be tied to romantic feeling.
    I think that is true. Men who are more emotionally capable probably have access to a wider range of feeling.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

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