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  1. #211
    THIS bitch stringstheory's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecttcelfeR View Post
    It is. What's even more interesting to me is the fact that a gay male found a best friend in a straight male. That he felt comfortable enough to allow himself to be known as such to everyone. This is my case. The friendship has faded away, but it still happened. Me being the straight male.
    Not saying that this is necessarily the case with your friend, but one of my best friends had a similar experience...one day he just told me he decided to rush a fraternity. At first I thought he was joking, but he did, and after a period of time it really made a lot of sense. To put it in the words of one of our friends, "He might be a gay man, but he's still a man...he has all that testosterone and shit". Now he has a lot of very close friends who are straight men.

    A lot of gay men are rather effeminate (especially down here in Los Angeles) however there are a lot that aren't, including my friend. Even though he's into theatre and opera, he played football and basketball and was typically considered the more "masculine" guy in our group of friends.

    Eventually having few other people to relate to on that level wore him down. Not to say that he grew tired of our friends, but he felt very out of balance because when you looked around it was him, our other gay friends, some other straight women, and me (at one point when we had this conversation, he told me i was the closest thing to a straight man that he had in our group of friends ).
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  2. #212
    Member woolgatherer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stringstheory View Post
    For me I think it's just I don't know how to interact with "most" girls. It's not that I don't always care about what they're talking about or anything like that, it's just this weird social awkwardness; always feeling alienated, like I didn't belong there. The only girls I find I really get along with are other girls that have mostly male friends.
    Yes, this is a lot like the way I feel. I also do feel like relating to men is more casual somehow. I had more female friends up until my mid-teens, but since then I guess I feel a little more comfortable around men. I have some female acquaintances and they can kind of upset my introverted-ness by asking questions and maybe relating in a bit too personal of a way (but I think the women I'm thinking of are EXFXs).

    Honestly I think part of it is that (I have social anxiety and) I can try to escape uncomfortable situations by leaning on my sexuality if I have to, when I'm with men... if that makes sense. That's not all it is though, there is a more down to earth feeling with men that I like.

    In regards to INFPs being unable to tell if someone is sexually interested in them... I think that I'm good at that, at least when I first meet someone. Who knows what I could be missing though. With someone who's an established friend it might be better hidden. I do have a lot of difficulty fending people off if they put me in an awkward situation... and have had some unpleasant experiences as a result.
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  3. #213
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecttcelfeR View Post
    What's even more interesting to me is the fact that a gay male found a best friend in a straight male. That he felt comfortable enough to allow himself to be known as such to everyone. This is my case. The friendship has faded away, but it still happened. Me being the straight male.
    I think this is very interesting, too. I know of two such straight guys myself... and actually I thought it VERY attractive about them... that they were confident enough in their identities to befriend whomever they felt a good fit.

    I interpreted this as a sign of real character on their parts.

  4. #214
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Maybe he wanted to be more than friends.
    He ended up dating a guy who looked exactly like me, hahaha!

    Quote Originally Posted by stringstheory View Post
    Not saying that this is necessarily the case with your friend, but one of my best friends had a similar experience...one day he just told me he decided to rush a fraternity. At first I thought he was joking, but he did, and after a period of time it really made a lot of sense. To put it in the words of one of our friends, "He might be a gay man, but he's still a man...he has all that testosterone and shit". Now he has a lot of very close friends who are straight men.

    A lot of gay men are rather effeminate (especially down here in Los Angeles) however there are a lot that aren't, including my friend. Even though he's into theatre and opera, he played football and basketball and was typically considered the more "masculine" guy in our group of friends.

    Eventually having few other people to relate to on that level wore him down. Not to say that he grew tired of our friends, but he felt very out of balance because when you looked around it was him, our other gay friends, some other straight women, and me (at one point when we had this conversation, he told me i was the closest thing to a straight man that he had in our group of friends ).
    You wouldn't be able to tell that he was gay unless he told you. He is very masculine in fact.

    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    I think this is very interesting, too. I know of two such straight guys myself... and actually I thought it VERY attractive about them... that they were confident enough in their identities to befriend whomever they felt a good fit.

    I interpreted this as a sign of real character on their parts.
    Thanks.

  5. #215
    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
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    I'm usually more comfortable being friends with guys only if I get this feeling that they're gay. When they're not? That's when it gets 'awkwaaard'!!

    My closest friends are females. Males, I can be friends with, but that doesn't usually last, because maybe I'm seen as a piece of meat or something.

    I like making buddy-buddy jokes with guys, but I think it gets taken the wrong way.

    Anyway, I prefer both. Mostly if I were to be really close friends with a guy, ideally.. it'd be the guy I'm with. Come to think about it, that's how it usually is.

  6. #216
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    After reading this thread, I am officially in the market for a gay. Come hither gays...wherever ye may be...
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

  7. #217
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    They're like cats.

  8. #218
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    They purr lots and shed on your sofa????
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

  9. #219
    Superwoman Red Herring's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    You made it sound like the only thing guys discuss between themselves is "guy topics" and the only thing girls discuss between themselves is "girl topics".

    Also, that they are at their best behavior which I don't even know what it means but doesn't sound too right.
    Not exclusively, but a lot of guy have even complained to me about how draining it can be to constantly go on about guy topics with other guys (and I have been observing these conversations as well). I know several guys who meet male friends for fun and female friends for serious talking (and I don´t just mean touchy-feely talking either). And vice versa: female company is great if you want to go on about how much guys suck, but if you want to talk politics, philosophy or whatnot, it´s mixed company you want. Just a personal observation, I don´t claim universality on this one.
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  10. #220
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    After reading this thread, I am officially in the market for a gay. Come hither gays...wherever ye may be...

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