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  1. #161
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    I think you've got a good point. Maybe I will gain access to more complex emotions by trying to connect. Good point!
    This works with self-analyzation, too. If you need an emotional translation you just ask an NF. I've done it quite a few times... it helps equal our pragmatism. Though if you aren't safe you can get caught in a depression, been there too. I just got out of it actually.

  2. #162
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecttcelfeR View Post
    Does this work well in a work enviroment too?
    I don't tend to become friends with co-workers. I'm very private & keep them at arm's length. Most don't seem aware I exist outside of the job...

    The one time I really became friends with someone I worked with, it blew up in my face. I became emotionally invested (and somewhat blinded by it), she did not, and she had no problem screwing me over.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  3. #163
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecttcelfeR View Post
    This works with self-analyzation, too. If you need an emotional translation you just ask an NF. I've done it quite a few times... it helps equal our pragmatism. Though if you aren't safe you can get caught in a depression, been there too. I just got out of it actually.
    Welcome back.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  4. #164
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    Is this your opinion after the betrayal? Is the enviroment that you work in not suitable for friendship creation?

  5. #165
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    I think this thread is a great example of what Highlander meant in his thread about 'Ne dominance' on the forum. LULZ.

    Only comments right now - I think Synarch you are overstating the case of biology = destiny. I think girls are made aware of motherhood and "playing house" but I think a lot of it is cultural conditioning and mimicking what is seen around us and learning what our standards of gender behavior are. Young girls are not fully aware of what motherhood or what childbirth means or the concept of the 'womb' until later...I think. I think it's more that boys are not ever really conditioned to prepare for fatherhood in any meaningful way that he is connected to the child, when children play house it's usually the dad/husband ordering others around or being catered to.

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    While I think this is true sometimes, I also think that NFPs can be very aware of non-tangible clues, like "emotional vibes" & that sort of thing. I can usually sense when a guy finds me attractive - I just tend to become too humble/insecure to ever initiate even when I get clear vibes. In a friend situation, I'd take care to make it clear I don't have any romantic interest if I got that feeling (and yes, I have done that before).

    For me, the thing with the weirdos latching on has more to do with misplaced pity/compassion than not being aware of their intentions.

    I am also not one to flirt without some genuine interest & tend to send aloof/disinterested signals to men, even unintentionally when I do find them attractive.
    I think that's very reassuring to hear. Honestly, after my personal experiences with some INFPs I know they specifically can not discern these vibes and are surprised, defensive, hurt, angry, etc. later when they realize their "friend" was trying to get in their pants, is in love with them, wants to date them or is pissing off the person they're actually dating (*ahem*) with their obvious advances.

    OP where are you??? Let us know what you think of the responses and your thread. Is this helpful?
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  6. #166
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Welcome back.
    Thanks. It's good to be back.

  7. #167
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    BTW, ReflectR, please use the 'multi-quote' function, when you post 3 times in a row it kinda gets spammy. (BTW I've noticed this with some other NT members)
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  8. #168
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    How do I do that? I have wanted to.

    Never mind I think I figured it out.

  9. #169
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    I think this thread is a great example of what Highlander meant in his thread about 'Ne dominance' on the forum. LULZ.


    Only comments right now - I think Synarch you are overstating the case of biology = destiny. I think girls are made aware of motherhood and "playing house" but I think a lot of it is cultural conditioning and mimicking what is seen around us and learning what our standards of gender behavior are. Young girls are not fully aware of what motherhood or what childbirth means or the concept of the 'womb' until later...I think. I think it's more that boys are not ever really conditioned to prepare for fatherhood in any meaningful way that he is connected to the child, when children play house it's usually the dad/husband ordering others around or being catered to.
    That's probably true. My explanations are often rather concrete. On the other hand, this cultural conditioning could have originated in biological fact. Like, if you are producing milk, it makes more sense that you be the most motivated caregiver. The male can go hunt while you caretake, etc. Otherwise, I concede your point. The problem I have with cultural arguments is that cultural factors are often nearly universal (when it comes to gender) and cultural factors are extremely difficult to analyze.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  10. #170
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecttcelfeR View Post
    Both. I would see this more directed towards non-romantic though.
    Well, this is an issue I have had to come to terms with. I used to be pleasant to people that I felt no connection with but internally I said "this isn't my type of person" and distanced myself. I've since learned that I can get along with practically anyone and that I should make the effort to do so. I realised I don't have to be 'best friends' with someone to enjoy their company and that I can have fun exploring the other sides of myself when with someone very different from me. I still desperately yearn for connection though...

    Romantically, no connection does not work for me; connection = attraction to me. Its like being dead inside without it. Forcing myself to give it a go even though I don't feel any connection tends to be disasterous. It would be like forcing yourself to sleep with someone you found utterly unattractive, hoping it would result in attraction.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

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