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  1. #121
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    i mean that many of us have a preference for personal conversations...dislike the formality of pleasant chit chat and skip ahead to more interesting (to us) types of personal conversations...to anyone...the old woman at the park...or kids or the new person at work...not in that...feed my ego and crave me sexually please way that you made it sound like.
    Oh, no, I didn't mean it that way. It just seems like when someone has a real, automatic interest in a stranger... it can seem... indiscriminate, you know? This is what seems strange to me.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  2. #122
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    Wow, what a fascinating (and likely apt) observation. The crossing of boundaries by myself and others makes me panicky...
    IDK if it's Fi, but I know my boundaries can be markedly different from other people.

    Someone had to tell me not to hug a male friend of mine, as it sent the wrong signal - I was like "What?!" :eek:. I have a habit of hugging the host/hostess, and didn't realize it came off as singling him out . But yet, I am careful not to flirt in the way I see other women do. I also get weirdly private about stuff others see as just fine to share.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  3. #123
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    i mean that many of us have a preference for personal conversations...dislike the formality of pleasant chit chat and skip ahead to more interesting (to us) types of personal conversations...to anyone...the old woman at the park...or kids or the new person at work...not in that...feed my ego and crave me sexually please way that you made it sound like.
    Of course you did.

    It's the depth of the conversation that counts, I agree.

  4. #124
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecttcelfeR View Post
    Boundaries are ultimately useless as they only exist because we allow them too... we can destroy them at any time most just choose not too, but this hinders a great deal of learning on everyones part.
    Certainly they have some use?
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  5. #125
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Oh, no, I didn't mean it that way. It just seems like when someone has a real, automatic interest in a stranger... it can seem... indiscriminate, you know? This is what seems strange to me.
    well equality sort of is isn't it?
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  6. #126
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Certainly they have some use?
    I suppose I should add the mutual agreement of disregarding boundaries when entering conversations, but I still believe the first part to be true.

  7. #127
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    well equality sort of is isn't it?
    I suppose. I just think about how many billions of people there are in the world and if I tried to pay attention to too many strangers in a way where I tried to connect my head might explode from the sheer complexity of navigating all these personal relationships.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  8. #128
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecttcelfeR View Post
    Of course you did.

    It's the depth of the conversation that counts, I agree.
    of course i did what? huh?
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  9. #129
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Oh, I'm sorry. I mean it is foreign to me. I can't remember really doing that. It seems like my conversations usually involve the transfer of information.

    When I see people relating through conversation I wonder what's happening. What are they experiencing? Why do they do it?

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I think he meant it's foreign for him

    And that's interesting....I feel my male friends DO relate to me. Maybe I am delusional, but I don't think so . I mean, it helps that these guys are NFs or SFPs & we DO have many common interests and a tendency to like to relate emotionally to people. I've even had an INTP friend relate to me (but admittedly there was a romantic vibe - still, he related! ).
    lol sorry...I misunderstood...

    Yeah, Synarch...relating to people comes naturally to me, I mean, I am capable of just exchanging information, but mostly I converse to relate. I don't understand how people can not relate.

    And, yeah OrangeAppled, I think it's easier to relate to NF or SF males maybe, but I swear the guy I was talking about who I've been friends with since I was thirteen is actually ISTP, I relate to him ...or at least did much more when we were younger... and there's definitely no romance.

  10. #130
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    I suppose. I just think about how many billions of people there are in the world and if I tried to pay attention to too many strangers in a way where I tried to connect my head might explode from the sheer complexity of navigating all these personal relationships.
    well you can only be one place at a time.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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