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  1. #61
    Member lbloom's Avatar
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    Beginning to see another dimension of why INTPs and INFJs can have very validating relationships.

    You folks are pretty darned different from ISFJs, although those can be wonderful people too.

  2. #62
    Member Shinzon's Avatar
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    *
    Last edited by Shinzon; 01-30-2008 at 11:35 AM.

  3. #63
    Member lbloom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shinzon View Post
    but sometimes they don't understand me.
    Yes. As a result, liable to feel unloved if verbal and material reinforcement of affection is interrupted. They may need concrete reminders to feel secure, even when they can certainly feel the affection.

  4. #64
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    Sounds to me like you're insecure. As for types, any type can have insecurities. Maybe she doesn't want to have to reassure you all the time and is using the break to recharge? This is why I think NF's need to mix it up a little with NT's.

    I'm an NF and at times insecure. Thankfully my NT knows this (thinking man he is) and isn't too bothered with my sometimes moody behavior. Being with him has also helped me think things out more thoroughly and rely on logic when coming to a conclusion. I'm not always successful and still use feelings, but I am better. I wouldn't do well with another NF, but that's just me.
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  5. #65
    ~dangerous curves ahead~
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    Quote Originally Posted by nightning View Post
    *smacks head* Me too... Sometimes I feel fake when I say that "I love you" What does that mean really? What is love? I don't know! People keep on saying when you feel it you'll know. But huh? I've felt tenderness and caring. Is that love? The SJs seem so sure that they loved me. Yet me on the other hand was absolutely confused. It's an issue of being genuine. I feel that what I say must be correct. Yet Fe sense the other person wanting the love to be reciprocated. It makes for an extremely awkward situation. And the easiest way out is to run away.
    ahh mousie, no running away. There's a certain certainty with a person, where affection, fascination and sympatico goes deeper, and your doubts are quiet for once. That's as best as I can say it. I think I described it to Pink somewhere that it is like a white light to the soul. You'll know it, mousie

    Before Silently Honest chokes *chuckles*. Revised list: (If I've missed any, please add on)

    athenian200
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  6. #66
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aelan View Post
    ahh mousie, no running away. There's a certain certainty with a person, where affection, fascination and sympatico goes deeper, and your doubts are quiet for once. That's as best as I can say it. I think I described it to Pink somewhere that it is like a white light to the soul. You'll know it, mousie ...
    That's how it happened with me. But I agree that it may be a "type thing". Some types may be more apt to KNOW they're in love, while other types may warm up to it slowly, or whatever.

    I met my husband on a Friday night. The next morning when I woke up, I KNEW I was in love! I introduced him to everyone as the "man of my dreams". I had been infatuated before but this was the first time it truly felt reciprocated. I could tell he wanted me. He's an ISTP. We just celebrated our 25th anniversary.

  7. #67
    Member ferrisbueller's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post
    This is why I think NF's need to mix it up a little with NT's.
    I do have tons of NT friends, including a couple of INTJ's which I know some believe to be the ideal romantic match for an ENFP, but I honestly don't feel that kind of connection with NTs. Maybe it's because I grew up with an ENTJ father who I clashed with a little bit, but I feel a much stronger romantic connection with other NFs. That emotional depth and intensity feels essential to me. I can see why an NT would be the right match for some NFs, but I like the emotional support that fellow NFs provide.

  8. #68
    Dhampyr Economica's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ferrisbueller View Post
    I do have tons of NT friends, including a couple of INTJ's which I know some believe to be the ideal romantic match for an ENFP, but I honestly don't feel that kind of connection with NTs.
    Just out of curiosity, have you ever met a female INTJ?

  9. #69
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    I met one yesterday. I did her hair and makeup for her wedding. She was very laid back and knew exactly what she wanted. I like upfront people who you don't have to wonder what they're thinking. Get to the point.

    I am not an NT, but I don't go for too much mushy behavior that is why I enjoy being married to an INTJ. And contrary to what some people think, they do have emotions and can be quite affectionate.
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  10. #70
    Member ferrisbueller's Avatar
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    Yeah, I go to school with a female INTJ. They are certainly uncommon however, I had never met one before. Also, Jen's right, INTJs can be quite affectionate, one of my my closest friends is an INTJ who shows surprising emotional depth. However it took years and years of friendship to get to that place where he felt comfortable being emotional with me. I'm really his only friend, social situations and him do not get along, but we've been friends for years.
    Still, I feel like a romantic partnership with a INTJ would be too much work for me. I can't help but feel like I'd put a lot more in than I would get out, if that makes any sense. Also I can't imagine feeling that romantic spark. In fact, I feel reasonably sure that I've only felt romantically attracted to NFJs. However, there aren't necessarily a bunch of NT women running around, so it's possible that I haven't met enough. One never knows I guess.

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