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Thread: INFx??

  1. #1
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    Default INFx??

    Okay, so I'm trying to figure out two friends of mine. For a long time, I thought my female friend (whom I'll call D) was an INFJ, while I thought my male friend (whom I'll call J) was an INFP. I think I may have misunderstood these two types and that it's actually switched. I'm quite positive both are INFx.

    So D enjoys socializing, and especially being there for friends in need. She's a bit of a pushover and really dislikes confrontations. However, she'll occasionally have these random bursts of anger and then goes back to "normal" again. She carries a lot of emotional baggage around with her. Another friend last night described her as thinking she owned the monopoly on pain and that no one else's experiences or tragedies could come anywhere close. I slightly agreed. Also, she wants very badly to help people out and has done hospice work. But also carries around the mentality that nothing is ever good enough, and she finds it impossible to finish out school to actually be a nurse or anything further. She is somewhat of an alcoholic and a bit of a chaotic mess. Her apartment is always always always terrifyingly messy. She holds a lot of resentment towards those who have harmed her in some way, namely her father who passed away & also for all of her ex boyfriends. She is now trying to be a better Christian, but hasn't made any real changes in her life. I suppose the reason I thought she was an INFJ, was because I felt like she was incredibly in tune with people around her. Great intuition for that sort of thing, which I thought was characteristic of her being a J. She has definitely saved me in social situations, where I would be uncomfortable for one reason or another, and she would lead the conversation in a light hearted manner to take attention away from me.

    My friend, J, is very artistic and lives very much like a hermit. He's incredibly reclusive. When he does make friends, it typically involves a project of some sort. He's very project oriented. He isn't the cleanest as far as his living space goes, however, he becomes extremely stressed out with trying to complete projects before certain deadlines and will be incredibly hard on himself if he doesn't follow through. He somehow tested as an INFP, but I'm thinking this must be inaccurate. He's less into philosophy & symbolism than me (and is actually quite annoyed with those that talk about philosophy), however, when he reads the news or comes across random things in nature he takes those things to entirely different meanings. He follows signs, and often talks about how doom is impending.
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  2. #2
    Yeah, I can fly. Aleksei's Avatar
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    D is INFJ. J is INFP. Your initial hunch was right.
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    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    Do you think you could elaborate more as to why you believe so? I'm trying to understand the two types a little better.
    "I don't know a perfect person.
    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
    -John Green

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    Yeah, I can fly. Aleksei's Avatar
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    Well, D seems to be very self-sacrificing and not have that much of a sense of self -- Fe. The Ni is harder to see, but I figure if she were ISFJ she would be much less messy and insecure. J on the other hand is quite clearly Fi -- artistic, reclusive, not agreeable like D is. I almost guessed IxTJ with a strong tertiary given he's so serious and focused, but the way he finds hidden connections and meanings everywhere is Ne to the core.
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    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I think you were right to begin with also, except J sounds VERY possibly ISFP.

    However, I'd consider what his annoyance with philosophy and symbolism really is - I tend to love that kind of talk, but find "shallow" forms of it grating. It comes off as pretentious people trying hard to sound deep. This is very much related to valuing "authenticity". But if he becomes annoyed because such talk is not "real" or "concrete" in anyway & seems like superfluous BS, or is just "boring", then ISFP seems likely.

    I wouldn't say I follow signs so much as note possible signs that could lead to possible outcomes. What you describe about him sounds like it could be tert-Ni more than Ne-aux.
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  6. #6
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    I agree with those above me, and also agree with OA that he could be isfp. My isfp friend notices things and makes connections about them, I guess using Fi/Se, but has little patience for intuitive conversation, and can be disdainful about it if she has to endure it too long.


    Edit: While some things about the INFJ aren't classic (i.e. the really messy stuff), I think it could be explained by having a lot of personal stressors to deal with in a short time. It takes us so long to get over a broken relationship, that when more than one piles up, it can be extremely overwhelming and taxing.
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    Senior Member quietmusician's Avatar
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    The first bit sounded a lot like my life's story. I'm going with INFJ for your friend D. What tipped me off was the fact that you said that she has bursts of anger then goes back to "normal". I've struggled with this since childhood. I imagine for you that it's a crazy thing to witness, but hopefully you give her space when that occurs. And for your friend J, I also agree that INFP would be suitable, perhaps he might be on the cusp of P/J.

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    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by quietmusician View Post
    What tipped me off was the fact that you said that she has bursts of anger then goes back to "normal". I've struggled with this since childhood.
    I have those too , but it only happens around close family.
    I think that may be INFx reaction to pent up anger from avoiding confrontation.

    But otherwise, this description sounds something like my Aunt who tests INFJ and I'm thinking more & more really IS INFJ. It seems that she's dealing with the external world through Feeling, with Ni hidden safely away in everyday interactions. INFPs are opposite - Ne face to world, hidden Fi.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  9. #9
    Yeah, I can fly. Aleksei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by quietmusician View Post
    The first bit sounded a lot like my life's story. I'm going with INFJ for your friend D. What tipped me off was the fact that you said that she has bursts of anger then goes back to "normal". I've struggled with this since childhood. I imagine for you that it's a crazy thing to witness, but hopefully you give her space when that occurs. And for your friend J, I also agree that INFP would be suitable, perhaps he might be on the cusp of P/J.
    It's very, very goddamn difficult to be on the cusp of P/J, because P/J changes both your functions, and your functional order. It's easier to be on the border of INFP and ENFJ, than on the border of INFP and INFJ. More likely he just has a strong inferior Te.
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  10. #10
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    I definitely don't think J is an ISFP. First of all, I am, and he is my exboyfriend whom I'm still good friends with. He's in a lot of ways similar to me, I suppose, yet drastically different. He often saw me like a child & had the INFP need to act sophisticated in many social situations, which is different from ISFP's. No matter the age, we're often either grown up children or too cool for school when in social situations. He said when it came to philosophy stuff, he just didn't understand what it was talking about and that it didn't make sense. But he does constantly talk about his ideas, ideals, and the crazy connections he so often see's around him. So, I suppose INFP is definitely fitting for him since it is the one that is Ne, while my friend D is more Ni. That makes a lot of sense. Oh, and yes, I give my friend D plenty of space when she needs it... and like I said, I'm an ISFP, so I often offer her the shoulder to lean on when she needs and hears her out. Even in her craziness, I've always appreciated her as a person & love her ability to really speak out her emotions with such ease.

    Thank you for the help guys. I now understand the differences more.
    "I don't know a perfect person.
    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
    -John Green

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