I see that there are a lot of variations of XNFPs and I am curious to see the similarities and differences of some specific traits and behaviors. Honestly, I feel a bit freakish...so...it'd be nice to know I am not the only one. So I will specify my post to social interaction and external environment. But you are all welcome to discuss whatever, especially contradictions or 'surprises' to your type profiles/functions. Also, I don't meet a lot or get to know a lot of XNFPs and I think it is important to get to know some and I like XNFPs. (Ah, this is very long.)
Social Interaction: I have a big mouth - I say things sometimes that I shouldn't. They are either too blunt, inappropriate or private. I say them while in a 'moment' and that moment is when I feel very comfortable, almost giddy and I find the other person non-threatening. I don't like having to watch what I say. There are times when I think very carefully on what to or not to say, but then there are times when I just talk without even using one second to think it thorough.
I can be very, very giddy and talkative and warm when I feel at ease and I find the other person in sync with me and just as open and warm. If I am asked to be a certain way, I will undoubtedly fail. I can't fake much. I don't like strict rules or going by other people's ideas/whatever. I know how to act socially acceptable because I have observed interactions closely. But when I let loose, sometimes I go overboard. And it's not that it's bad to go overboard because a lot of people do, it's that I notice I go over and then, I go back into my shell because I feel really awkward for being so 'exposed' and worried that what I say will come back to bite me.
This is why I go from one extreme of open-ness to one of extreme reservation. I expose too much and I don't feel safe doing that so I reserve a lot of my opinions, ideas, feelings to my tight group of friends usually.
If I know I am being judged even if not in a formal way, I clam up. I don't 'perform', I don't 'impress' for the sake of impression. I am very self-deprecating. Sometimes people take my humor as being too hard on myself, but I was sarcastic. If people tell me I am quiet, I clam right up. I don't need to prove them wrong and if I talk, it means I am trying to impress, which is very WTF to me.
I almost never take compliments well from strangers, usually it's surface-deep. It's weird to be complimented on something that I think is what everyone should be doing anyway (being a good person) or what I am doing with the minimum amount of effort (whatever it may be). I think XNTJs have the same problem. Why are you complimenting me for being me, and I am not even at my 100%? That's weird. Though sometimes, secretly, if it's from someone I trust, I like to be told when I am good at something naturally or from practice, physically or mentally or whatnot.
With some people, I just clam up and with others, I just become very outgoing and friendly. It's not random, I am sure it's based on my Fi-Ne data system. Sometimes I am one way when I should be the other to lessen awkwardness or tension, but I don't often force myself.
Overall, I am a friendly, considerate person who my friends regard as 'crazy/weird/funny/overly analytical'. Little children gravitate to me. I look bright-eyed and innocent, but I curse a lot and have plenty of dark, dark thoughts. I don't get angry often, but when I do, it's a big explosion, not a little prick. I tend to control myself to not go off on others for whatever reason because I feel that it accomplishes nothing, wastes my energy and it is not my responsibility to (try to) teach them how to be a decent person. I feel that if I start going off on people, I will go off on a lot of people and that's just not an efficient idea. I don't want to be one of those angry people who is easily upset or has a stick up their bum. I want to be upset when it will change something.
External environment: I am clumsy and kind of ditzy, well not ditzy but very, very distract-able. I don't lose things. I have a weird walk - I walk like I am high/drunk. Envision a lesser version of Johnny Depp in the Pirates movie. Hahaha; it's not that bad or noticable, but it has been commented on by my dear friends. If I am talking to you, I may forget to do whatever else. Afterwards, I may forget if I did the thing I was supposed to or not while talking to you, even if it's just half a minute later. I am damn awful with details and directions and maps. I need to write everything down. I am better at memorizing whatever you have told me if there is some kind of 'reason' to it. If I understand the 'detail', I will remember it better than if I am told to just remember a three-digit, random number. I remember the jist of everything from what I read in the NYTimes - 3 or 4 articles - but if you ask me how much a box of Newports cost, I have no freaking idea even though I have been selling them for two weeks.
Sometimes, a solution to a problem is extremely simple but it doesn't occur to me until days later when I could have resolved this problem from the very first day and prevented dumb mistakes. Here, I am talking about work. But then, I tell myself that I can't possibly keep everything in track and I am dealing with a lot and I can't possibly cover all bases. But when the solution does come to me, I kick myself because it is so simple and obvious.
I emphasize that my ability with details suck and I foresee it to be a problem with my future careers. I know I am really quite smart but that makes me seem dumb sometimes. Plus I just feel dumb because most people would have caught it but I seem to have this special ability to miss the obvious. I am not oblivious, I just can't 'intuit' and 'sense' at the same time, for lack of a better way to explain this.