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  1. #71
    THIS bitch stringstheory's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sabre View Post
    Seams that every opinion I say that disagrees with them its a direct offence for their beliefs and act aggressively towards me. They complain that I "Mr. Wise Guy" when I try to discuss something with them when instead of knowing everything when I'm discussing with them I'm actually learning. I bothered them with MBTI because they hate it, and hate if I look that I know them.
    Are you positive they are actually offended? It could be they're just really passionate A lot of people tend to confuse my love for debate as being aggressive or irritated, but really it's just my own brand of enthusiasm because yes, my beliefs are a very strong part of my own identity. I can still listen and appreciate others points of view though, but i won't pretend i'm not enthusiastically expressing my strongly held beliefs.
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  2. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by MagnificentMind View Post
    Sounds like you're the one who's on the offensive. Tone it down, methinks. Not every argument has to be won or fought.
    Exactly, its my point, not every argument has to be won, but INFPs just blow up like I'm trying to win it. As I say, I argue because I want to learn, not to show that I'm right.

  3. #73
    What is, is. Arthur Schopenhauer's Avatar
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    Who knows then.
    INTJ | 5w4 - Sp/Sx/So | 5-4-(9/1) | RLoEI | Melancholic-Choleric | Johari & Nohari

    This will not end well...
    But it will at least be poetic, I suppose...

    Hmm... But what if it does end well?
    Then I suppose it will be a different sort of poetry, a preferable sort...
    A sort I could become accustomed to...



  4. #74
    Uniqueorn William K's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sabre View Post
    Exactly, its my point, not every argument has to be won, but INFPs just blow up like I'm trying to win it. As I say, I argue because I want to learn, not to show that I'm right.
    Do you mean learning as in trying to understand why an INFP does/says something?

    Example -
    INTJ : I believe in A
    INFP : I believe in B
    INTJ : Why?
    4w5, Fi>Ne>Ti>Si>Ni>Fe>Te>Se, sp > so > sx

    appreciates being appreciated, conflicted over conflicts, afraid of being afraid, bad at being bad, predictably unpredictable, consistently inconsistent, remarkably unremarkable...

    I may not agree with what you are feeling, but I will defend to death your right to have a good cry over it

    The whole problem with the world is that fools & fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. ~ Bertrand Russell

  5. #75
    Member Talisyn's Avatar
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    Not addressed to me, but going to reply anyway...

    Quote Originally Posted by Sabre View Post
    For Rebe and Coriolis


    Since I've talked to INFP its like walking in a field of mines, as it is said lots of times.
    I don't think I'm a field of mines in this: my good and true friends know what topics not to press- and are respectful of it, and those who aren't I'm more forgiving of and just ignore. Sure its true I don't go around shouting THIS IS WHAT I BELIEVE! THIS IS WHAT REALLY TICKS ME OFF! but those who have addressed those topics in a non-judgmental so what do you think about this? or that? way truly know what is not up for debate & what not to do.
    I can't be myself and can't properly have deep conversations with INFPs because they think every time I say "you this", "you that", "in your case" every time I use the pronoun "you" and say something they just explode, think I'm so sure of something and can't make a good discussion with me.
    Because "you" this or "you" that sounds presumptuous and unless you have been my best buddy for the last 10 years do not PRESUME to know me. If its in relation to MBTI say "I've noticed other INFP's....." if it's my faith you may say "I've noticed other Christians" if its my profession you may say "I've noticed other teachers..." and if it is truly ME then be specific and gentle "I've noticed when such and such happens YOU tend to do *this* like when *cite incident*" Stop there and leave open for me to address.
    When I talk about preferences if I disagree a lot (for myself) about something they like they just explode again and say that don't want to bother them any more.
    My goal is to find common ground to chat about. If it appears that you differ in many things we try to talk about I may become very frustrated because it *sounds* like you are being contentious. I also don't want to go on about how your preference or opinion differs from mine. I'd rather just move on.

    In the end, for me to safely walk in the mine field. Our conversations are just completely chitchat and I can't go further and deeper in a friendship (I can't know that person and she won't know me either), I'll just go safely in the mine field but I'll never reach the other side of it.
    For what its worth I think the basic communication tips I've left should help you in communicating more successfully. Of course, I don't refer to your INFP friend whom I don't know, but only to myself as a very strong INFP type person.
    I want to be alive To all the life that is in me now, to know each moment to the uttermost.
    (Khalil Gibran from Mary Haskell's Journal June 7, 1912.)

    "I'd rather die than live without Mercy and Love" - House of Heroes, Code Name Raven


    "I write/Slowly at first/Then the words come quicker/Slow in comparison/To my rapid thoughts/I fall silent/In awe of love"

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #76
    Member Talisyn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by William K View Post
    Do you mean learning as in trying to understand why an INFP does/says something?

    Example -
    INTJ : I believe in A
    INFP : I believe in B
    INTJ : Why?
    Even "why?" can sound trivializing depending on how you say it... delivery is so important-
    If you want me to open up because you are genuinely curious:
    INTJ : I believe in A
    INFP : I believe in B
    INTJ : Oh, I've heard a bit about B, but I chose A because of this. What caused you to decide on B?
    I want to be alive To all the life that is in me now, to know each moment to the uttermost.
    (Khalil Gibran from Mary Haskell's Journal June 7, 1912.)

    "I'd rather die than live without Mercy and Love" - House of Heroes, Code Name Raven


    "I write/Slowly at first/Then the words come quicker/Slow in comparison/To my rapid thoughts/I fall silent/In awe of love"

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #77
    What is, is. Arthur Schopenhauer's Avatar
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    I think it is most likely that Sabre is approaching them improperly.
    INTJ | 5w4 - Sp/Sx/So | 5-4-(9/1) | RLoEI | Melancholic-Choleric | Johari & Nohari

    This will not end well...
    But it will at least be poetic, I suppose...

    Hmm... But what if it does end well?
    Then I suppose it will be a different sort of poetry, a preferable sort...
    A sort I could become accustomed to...



  8. #78
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    MagnificentMind is right, that's why I'm here I need help.

    INTJ : I believe in A
    INFP : I believe in B
    INTJ : Why?

    Why mostly can make them go "I don't want to explaining that to you" once someone told me that they think they are never understood by others, get mad and react like this.

    And I repeat, I never get pissed off out of opinion, the conversarion just goes like:
    >We talk
    >We start discussion
    >She talks about something she likes
    >I tell her I don't like and I say why
    >She just goes "STOP JUDGING ME"
    >I go like "wow chill what did I do wrong?"
    >*Drama*
    >Etc

    I say this in a very summarized way she isn't a craze person and does´t go start typing on caps if you know what I mean.

  9. #79
    THIS bitch stringstheory's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sabre View Post
    >We talk
    >We start discussion
    >She talks about something she likes
    >I tell her I don't like and I say why
    >She just goes "STOP JUDGING ME"
    >I go like "wow chill what did I do wrong?"
    >*Drama*
    >Etc.
    This is probably what's getting you in trouble; sorry but INTJs aren't notorious for being the most sensitive people with their words I have a feeling the way you are wording things, while maybe not that bad to you, come off as judgmental of people who have differing opinions from you, and INFPs are very sensitive to this. I'd examine that if you can. We value efficiency with words too, just in terms of being sensitive of how others might be perceiving our choice of words.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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  10. #80
    What is, is. Arthur Schopenhauer's Avatar
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    Why do you even want to talk to these people so badly? I would have blacklisted them the first time they blew up on me.
    INTJ | 5w4 - Sp/Sx/So | 5-4-(9/1) | RLoEI | Melancholic-Choleric | Johari & Nohari

    This will not end well...
    But it will at least be poetic, I suppose...

    Hmm... But what if it does end well?
    Then I suppose it will be a different sort of poetry, a preferable sort...
    A sort I could become accustomed to...



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